I love the sarcasm. Many today believe that by saying the sinners prayer we are suddenly saved, but it takes more than that. We need to turn away from or sin and desires which were not destined by God. Repentence is to ask for forgiveness and then turn away from your sin.
We must take up our cross and follow him, and that speaks to me that we are going to have to crucify our fleshly man. Sounds like a blast. We were given the ten commandments which is supported by the new testament scripture which says Love your God and love your neighbour as yourselves. The first lot of commandments all deal with or loveing and honouring of God and the rest deal with our Love and honour of our brothers and sisters.