Grace and sovereignty are important feature of the gospel, but they cannot be used to exclude the others, which is what happens in Calvinism. If everything could be left to a sovereign God, we here on earth wouldn't ever have to do anything. Just refrain from the grosser sins and we're saved? Paul would never have gone on his journeys. He was presdestined, wasn't he? Just write a nice fat tome of theology luxuriating in Antioch by the sea? Why not? This is what Calvinism teaches. Don't ever need to put yourself out, as you're predestined. Don't give up your TV because you're predestined. Just do the minimum and to heaven you'll go. Thus Calvin had Servetus prosecuted for an extra-territorial crime not even committed within the State of Geneva, with absolutely no heed as to whether or not it would affect his salvation. To many his act was just plain murder, yet as Calvin was sure he was predestined, there was no issue with it.
The grace of God appeared in Jesus Christ. He is the grace of God. Ti 2;11. Calvinists seem to think that some other grace is needed (is it "prevenient grace"?) to enable us to accept the grace of God in Jesus Christ? I am none too sure about this. Obviously God works out everything for his own ends and can and does determine who will be saved, but by what means, no-one knows. Nonetheless the gospel isn't all down to God and his grace. It is absolutely clear that election depends on every individual with faith proving the genuineness of their faith in this life.
You have no clue do you. There are tares pretending to be Christians, there are tares who hold to Calvanism, Arminianism, and those in between. Just because you tend towards Calvinist theology doesn't make you believe your absolved of guilt, or choice. How God works every decision we make for the sanctification of a sinner is a mystery. The fact is we are living out our lives where we know in part, and God who is sovereign, all wise, all knowing directs our path in a way where His will is accomplished. His will is our sanctification, the tapestry of how that happens is mysterious until disclosed later in life or in heaven.
Can I look to past events in my life that were terrible and gut wrenching, yes - and what did they do, they pointed me to a risen Savior, and my need. Can I see in my past wicked things that I have done that convict and convinced me of sin, yes. Were all these things pushing me towards God's Will, yes. Am I absolved from any guilt of those sins? no, I am guilty - but forgiven in the Risen King.
On the flip side can I look at events as they come my way and know that God knows what He is doing, and I can trust Him, yes, I can stand on those promises because by experience, who He is, and His predestination for me. This causes boasting, not in myself but the Lord. It's all of Grace, He is so good and gracious to this sinful man. I can't believe He would do the things He does.
I don't understand why this doesn't create Joy in your heart like it does mine, Joy is a supernatural delight in the person and purposes of God. That I don't have to fret over my own foolishness now and in the past that my future is as bright as the Grace of God. That He really does love me and have a plan for me to be conformed to the image of His Son whom is His beloved Son - and if Jesus is the Beloved Son and the Father is conforming me to that image, God loves me as a son. Hebrews 12 - when I see His discipline, it's proof of His love
Hallelujah - Holy Holy Holy - God almighty - shouts of Praise to the Lord of Hosts