My personal journey from revenge to forgiveness...
Oh yes, we need His help. “I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.” When our mind is lead by the Spirit with scripture, it is renewed, and desires what God desires. It truly changes us. One of the two hardest people I had to forgive was the man that kidnapped me, put me in a dark basement for years, raped me, beat me, gave me a child whom he kidnapped from me from 12-17 years old.
To be honest, when he stole my son from me, I would marinate in the pleasure of the thought of him screaming in the flames of hell and begging me to help him. I imagined millions, and billions, and no name years go by, with my revenge being satisfied by his screams and pleas for help.
Then one day my heart started to soften. I had done some things that I’m not proud of- that’s an understatement, the guilt was torturing my soul. And I realized that I’m not any better than him- the only difference is I have Christ’s blood and he don’t, I was once in his shoes. And if somewhere in him was the ability to get saved also, then who am I to say I can and he can’t? Who am I to say David was saved despite murdering Uriah, and Paul was saved despite killing Christians! (The cheif of sinners), but that he is the only soul ever who does not have the opportunity to be saved? He is not an exception, no one is.
And if it is me hindering him, how can I look into the face of my Father who didn’t let anything hinder me from being saved? So I concluded, that if I forgive and even try to promote him being saved, and he doesn’t get saved, then he truly will go to hell, and what could I possibly do to him anyways that could be worse than putting him on fire for all eternity to where he could never even die to escape it? And if he did ever get saved, I would be no greater than he. Either way, I obey my Father, Who is in control of all things, and His Will will be done- which is always the right thing. So I took it out of my hands, and put it back into His, where it belongs. “It is Mine to avenge, I will repay says the Lord.”
Thus I concluded that just because I am not the One to dish out the wrath, does not mean that they get away with it. Whoever is on the receiving end of God’s wrath will suffer way more woe than I could ever dish out. But if I attempt to dish it out instead of saving room for God’s wrath, I myself will be on the receiving end of God’s wrath- and that is not an option for OneFaith!
So at the conclusion of all these thoughts, I genuinely and completely forgave my captor, even before the return of my son- who is now in my everyday life praise the Lord!!! And when I forgave, I felt a tremendous burden leave my soul, and I felt free. After that, the little things were a breeze to forgive- like someone who flips you the bird- phifft, easy breezy.
I’ve seen him a few times, over my son’s house, and I spoke to him with genuine respect and kindness, as if nothing happened. I helped him and my son make dinner. We talked about our grandson, and I didn’t hesitate to eat his cooking- which was delicious I must admit. There was never a hint of resentment in my voice, facial expressions, actions, or words. I wanted to show him that God’s forgiveness is real and genuine, because I myself need it to be.
