Is it a sin for us to marry a non-Christian or not born-again person?

[graceNpeace]

First of all, statistics show that Christian marriages have a divorce rate equal
to secular society. So based on that, this is my view. Have a deep conversation
with who you are going to marry. Explain that your Christian faith is very important
to you. Upon discussion, you may find that he is quite willing to be a Christian and
with that, there would be no problem; certainly it doesn't amount to a sin. If your
faith is really strong, I'm sure you'll win out, in my experience that has been the
case. If your faith is moderate, a problem may occur or not but it's more risky.
Actually though, there is no ruler that measures equally yoked. That may be a fault
of Christian marriages being equal, one spouse may have a much deeper relationship
with Christ. I was unequally yoked when I was married but since I was not a Christian,
I didn't have a clue about yokes. My wife never demanded I become a Christian but
by the grace of God, someone much more powerful than her did. That someone was
my Lord Jesus Christ. So I've come to believe that the marriage will last, since it has
last 52 plus years at this point without even a day's separation. If anything, my wife
has faltered some while I've grown but between us nothing has changed so I leave
the rest to Jesus.

Define "Christian."

If "Christian" is what people put on a census form or some such then I doubt its meaning.
Even in Australia apparently about 90+% will identify themselves thus on a census form, but only about 6% EVER go to church, and much less than that are regular church goers!

I don't doubt that divorce is an issue with professed Christians - but I doubt it matches society as a whole.

 

[dcontroversal]

Hi dcon,

You know you're disagreeing with so many pastors and commentaries that say this scripture is for any relationship that the believer has with a nonbeliever. Yoked means to be bound with them.

Anyway, it's fine if you want to disagree.

But even chapter 7 confirms we are not to marry unbelievers.

A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.1 Corinthians 7:39

So what...the context is WORKING TOGETHER for the cause of Christ...read the whole chapter....Paul is not going to say it is OK in chapter 7 of 1st Corinthians and then turn around and contradict himself in 2nd Corinthians 6...God inspired both books...

The context....WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER......read the whole chapter....and 1st Corinthians 7 does not teach what you imply....the verse I quoted and the whole chapter proves it.....

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

 

[dcontroversal]

I hope I understand it right, brother. What you're saying is that, it is not a sin to marry an unbeliever but a duty of the believer. Am I right? Or if not, can you please explain it to me further? Thank you!

What I am saying is that Paul states it is OK...and which ever one is a believer is irrelevant...the believing one will sanctify the marriage in God's eyes.....2nd Corinthians 6<--the Context is working together as believers for the cause of Christ...and has NOTHING to do with marriage....WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER....<---this is the context of the chapter......

 

[dcontroversal]

1 Corinthians 7: 13-14
You'll see with the context of verse 13 that is talking about someone that became a Christian after marrying an unbeliever!

Cor 6:14 might not be talking specifically about marriage, but it could also be applied to it. Because of the concept explained on the verse.

I know a Christian woman that actually decided to marry an atheist. And believe me that decision meant a lot of suffering for her.
If I were you I would pray for my partner for God to touch his heart.

The context of 2nd Corinthians 6 cannot be chunked so as to apply it to marriage....the context is working together for the cause of Christ....WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER....<----this is the context..NOT MARRIAGE

 

[Zi]

God
Jesus
Husband
Wife
That's the order or chain thru which everything is passed down.. if you marry an unbelieving man then what you should or could have received will not be given because your husband cannot hear from not receive anything from the chain.. The head of the family is the husband.. Ask yourself if he's fit to lead you in the way of Christ.. Heartache is awful.. either way you go you'll endure something, better with God.. I'll pray for you girlie... Been there as well, it was terrible but find something to look forward to.. That's how Jesus and Paul made it thru

Hi! I have just recently found this site and one of the few things I earnestly wanted to know about a Christian life is about marriage. Honestly, my boyfriend right now is, I think not a born-again Christian. I mean, he attends church (Catholic) but unlike us, it's okay for them to drink alcoholic beverages and they do the sign of the cross. Although I know that salvation is received individually, I'm still bothered by the thought of it (and the future). I hope someone could enlighten me about this.

Thank you, brothers and sisters.

 

[dcontroversal]

Bro, I think with that verse Paul was addressing people who were believers and saved already in marriage. Instructing them not to divorce if their spouse is an unbeliever, hence his explanation of the other half being sanctified.
Lets look two verse prior:

To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
1 Corinthians 7:12*-‬14 ESV

What do you think?

Hey Bro....I think this.....

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

And 2nd Corinthians 6 is applied to working together for the cause of Christ...WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER.....It has nothing to do with marriage......

 

[dcontroversal]

The bible is very clear, a born again Christian is not to ever marry a person not born again. Don't let anyone fool you with stories, that comes right out of the mind of God.

Brilliant statement.......think about what you said......and I disagree....we are not under the law and Paul is clear in 1st Corinthians 7....

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

 

[Rochii]

The context of 2nd Corinthians 6 cannot be chunked so as to apply it to marriage....the context is working together for the cause of Christ....WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER....<----this is the context..NOT MARRIAGE

Ok let's say you're right about 2 Cor 6 wich I disagree because of the concept of those verses is really clear, is not just talking of working together.
But you have to admit that 1 cor 7 is clearly talking about someone becoming Christian after being married to an unbeliever.
If you become Christian after marrying an unbeliever you can be a testimony for your atheist husband, that's how you sanctified your husband.

 

[CherieR]

I don't believe it is a sin to get married to a non-believer. It may cause some tension in the relationship though. I don't really believe drinking alcohol a little here and there is a sin either as long as you don't do it in excess or get drunk. Jesus turned the water into wine after all.(see John 2:1-11)

 

[DustyRhodes]

The bible is very clear, a born again Christian is not to ever marry a person not born again. Don't let anyone fool you with stories, that comes right out of the mind of God.

Amor Vincit Omnia....Love Conquers All...Gal.5:14...For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command:
"Love your neighbor as yourself."

 

[Rochii]

Hi! I have just recently found this site and one of the few things I earnestly wanted to know about a Christian life is about marriage. Honestly, my boyfriend right now is, I think not a born-again Christian. I mean, he attends church (Catholic) but unlike us, it's okay for them to drink alcoholic beverages and they do the sign of the cross. Although I know that salvation is received individually, I'm still bothered by the thought of it (and the future). I hope someone could enlighten me about this.
Thank you, brothers and sisters.

I think you should talk to him, and see what does he really believe in. Maybe he has believed in Jesus as his Savior. You can talk about the bible to see what does he think, you can ask him if he'd be open to attend a different church.
I hope God guide you and give you wisdom

Ps I love your name!, I loove Sherlock

 

[Test_F_i_2_Luv]

Hi! I have just recently found this site and one of the few things I earnestly wanted to know about a Christian life is about marriage. Honestly, my boyfriend right now is, I think not a born-again Christian. I mean, he attends church (Catholic) but unlike us, it's okay for them to drink alcoholic beverages and they do the sign of the cross. Although I know that salvation is received individually, I'm still bothered by the thought of it (and the future). I hope someone could enlighten me about this.

Thank you, brothers and sisters.

he attends church (Catholic) but unlike us Being Roman Catholic doesn't mean one is automatically a non-Christian. There are Roman Catholics who have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Even so, the theological differences between a Roman-Catholic born-again Christian and a Protestant Born-again Christian can be quite troublesome.

it's okay for them to drink alcoholic beverages The Bible condemns getting drunk on alcohol, not drinking alcohol.

they do the sign of the cross They do a cross-like motion across their chest/head. "In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit". While I don't do it any longer since I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, I don't see any harm in it as a non-Roman Catholic. More than anything, though, I just don't see a point to it.

I think not a born-again Christian This is key. It is best for the spiritual health of yourself and marriage to be with someone who shares a deep love and intimacy with/for God. Help your bf to understand what it means to know God...help him to understand that there is a difference between knowing of God and knowing God. Lots of Roman Catholics aren't familiar with the concept of having God dwell in them. Once they understand what it means, they are drawn to it and want it.

Having been Roman Catholic, I think it's in your best interest to be in a relationship with a Christian who is mostly on the same page theologically. Roman Catholics and a lot of protestant denominations have a lot of friction, theologically speaking, that I think would make it hard to have a happy Christian home.

If he's a nominal(meaning he does little but go to mass) Roman Catholic, though, it may be possible to help him understand what it means to have Jesus Christ dwelling within, and that understanding may cause him to surrender/commit his life to Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.

 

[Desertsrose]

So what...the context is WORKING TOGETHER for the cause of Christ...read the whole chapter....Paul is not going to say it is OK in chapter 7 of 1st Corinthians and then turn around and contradict himself in 2nd Corinthians 6...God inspired both books...

The context....WE THEN AS WORKERS TOGETHER......read the whole chapter....and 1st Corinthians 7 does not teach what you imply....the verse I quoted and the whole chapter proves it.....

For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Hi Dcon,

Here's your scripture in context.

1 Corinthians 7:12-16 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?

~~~~
These are already married.

This is not 2 single people nor an engaged couple. Two people are already married and have a spouse that is an unbeliever. And Paul is saying that if the unbeliever wants to stay in the marriage the believer is to allow them to stay. But if not, the believer is to allow their unsaved spouse to leave.

 

[trofimus]

If it's not okay, how will unbelievers get to know Christ?

By preaching of the Gospel. Marriage is not a way for evangelizing.

 

[trofimus]

I think you should talk to him, and see what does he really believe in. Maybe he has believed in Jesus as his Savior. You can talk about the bible to see what does he think, you can ask him if he'd be open to attend a different church.
I hope God guide you and give you wisdom

Ps I love your name!, I loove Sherlock

They are 4 years together, if they did not talk about Christ yet, it is really a bad sign.

Also, I do not think that "he believes in Jesus as his Saviour" is enough. Real faith produces fruit. It must be visible in his life. If he does not care at all, do not talk about God at all, if he lives like if God is not in his life, such a faith is dead and useless.

 

[Katy-follower]

2 Cor 6:14: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

There's already a spiritual warfare going on in the world, so why would you also want this in your home, in your marriage? It will be a daily struggle and there will never be true unity between you both, because he's in the world and you're not of the world. The only way it would work is if the believer compromises, but God doesn't want us compromising. This type of union can result in a believer backsliding too, because they just want peace in the home.

Have you thought about future children also? Catholics are strong willed and usually expect to raise their children as catholics. As a believer you couldn't allow this. You'll be marrying into his catholic family. If they raised him catholic then they're likely catholics too. So you'll have to endure through all the various religious celebrations/gatherings. I know it sounds extreme but it's basically a child of God marrying a child of the devil. Because those lost in the world don't belong to God and they have a different father.

I know of a believer that stood her ground and would not even date a non believer. They were friends and he loved her so much so he started looking into her faith, started reading the bible even, and he ended up getting saved as a result. She was faithful, putting God first, and in this situation it seems as if she was rewarded for it. He then went on to be a pastor and they're happily married.

 

[trofimus]

I don't believe it is a sin to get married to a non-believer. It may cause some tension in the relationship though. I don't really believe drinking alcohol a little here and there is a sin either as long as you don't do it in excess or get drunk. Jesus turned the water into wine after all.(see John 2:1-11)

Worldliness is a deadly sin. It kills many Christians.

Getting bound with worldliness for the whole life is OK?

Not a consistent position.

 

[trofimus]

2 Cor 6:14: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

There's already a spiritual warfare going on in the world, so why would you also want this in your home, in your marriage? It will be a daily struggle and there will never be true unity between you both, because he's in the world and you're not of the world. The only way it would work is if the believer compromises, but God doesn't want us compromising. This type of union can result in a believer backsliding too, because they just want peace in the home.

Have you thought about future children also? Catholics are strong willed and usually expect to raise their children as catholics. As a believer you couldn't allow this. You'll be marrying into his catholic family. If they raised him catholic then they're likely catholics too. So you'll have to endure through all the various religious celebrations/gatherings. I know it sounds extreme but it's basically a child of God marrying a child of the devil. Because those lost in the world don't belong to God and they have a different father.

I know of a believer that stood her ground and would not even date a non believer. They were friends and he loved her so much so he started looking into her faith, started reading the bible even, and he ended up getting saved as a result. She was faithful, putting God first, and in this situation it seems as if she was rewarded for it. He then went on to be a pastor and they're happily married.

Exactly, unbelievers in a work place, in shops, in travel...and return to home to another unbeliever.

Truly a fulfillment of "separate from them".

 

[Katy-follower]

Paul covers this in 1st Corinthians 7........

1st Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

Verse 10 addresses "to the married".

I see this scripture differently. Because often what happens is that two non believers will marry and then at some point in their marriage one will get saved, while the other is still a non believer. This happened with my parents. They both married as non believers and my mother got saved first. My dad followed a couple of years later. Ultimately what did it is that he saw the change in her, she would always invite christians into the home for dinner or bible studies, so he was always hearing truth and being surrounded by christians. They were all shining the light of Jesus in the home. He witnessed how loving they all were and he had never experienced this before with other people.

But when it comes to a believer marrying a non believer from the get-go, this I see as being disobedient. God did warn that it would be a disaster and they will suffer in their marriage as a result. So I don't sound like a hypocrite... I got saved at the age of 11, but never grew and never read any scriptures, so I backslid for most of my life. During those backsliding years I ended up marrying a non believer. It was only when God called me back that I realized the scriptures forbid us from marrying one we're not equally yoked with. I didn't know this.

 

[Katy-follower]

Verse 10 addresses "to the married".

I see this scripture differently. Because often what happens is that two non believers will marry and then at some point in their marriage one will get saved, while the other is still a non believer. This happened with my parents. They both married as non believers and my mother got saved first. My dad followed a couple of years later. Ultimately what did it is that he saw the change in her, she would always invite christians into the home for dinner or bible studies, so he was always hearing truth and being surrounded by christians. They were all shining the light of Jesus in the home. He witnessed how loving they all were and he had never experienced this before with other people.

But when it comes to a believer marrying a non believer from the get-go, this I see as being disobedient. God did warn that it would be a disaster and they will suffer in their marriage as a result. So I don't sound like a hypocrite... I got saved at the age of 11, but never grew and never read any scriptures, so I backslid for most of my life. During those backsliding years I ended up marrying a non believer. It was only when God called me back that I realized the scriptures forbid us from marrying one we're not equally yoked with. I didn't know this.

V16: "For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?"

The above scripture applies.... if she had divorced him after she got saved, then he would not have been saved perhaps? Because it was through her shining the light of Jesus in the home that led to him getting saved.