Sensitivity in the chatroom

Cairparavel · Apr 28, 2015

The other day i was in the Bible Study chatroom and the topic was about athiests. My mother is one, and my father is agnostic. This being said, which i made clear in the room and how hard it is for me. But this made NO difference to the guy spouting about the doom athiests in general will have to face. I am well aware of this, as are most of us, even non-believers have heard of this, but it made no difference to this man. He kept having to make it clear how they are going to hell, etc. So, this issue is very painful for me since my entire family including distant relatives are all non-believers as far as i know. Even my immediate family (husband and daughter) are not saved as far I can tell.

All I am asking for is a little sensitivity especially on the issue of non-believers. Some people have family members who are and it is very painful see them on the wide road of destruction. My prayers seem futile sometimes...i've been praying for my parents since 1989 and they are farther off than ever. Also, the other subject which really gets to me and makes me want to cry in frustration is the "don't be yoked with an unbeliever" verse some feel the need to beat people over the head with. I get it. You need to warn the unmarried, but please don't pour on the guilt to people who are ALREADY in this marriage situation. It's really cruel and unfair to punish them this way.

Please try to be more sensitive to people with unbelieving spouses or family members! Please. You have NO idea how painful it is unless you have been there. It's all fine and dandy for you guys who have tons of family and friends who all love Jesus. That's wonderful for you all. Be thankful. But not everyone is blessed enough to be in this type of situation. Just have a little compassion, is all i ask. But since many don't, I usually just leave the room when this happens and hope the topic changes soon.

that's all! thanks.

Percepi · Apr 29, 2015

Which room are you in? Generally such topics would be redirected to either the Bible Study or Simple Bible Study room if the topic is taking place in a populated room such as the lounge.

As for sensitivity, many people believe this to be the hard truth. And as much as it bothers us, we need to let people speak what the feel to be true even if it's painful to hear, or even if we disagree with them all together.

JesusIsAll · Apr 29, 2015

Just a little advice? Don't give people such power over you. If somebody is being gratuitously offensive, realize this is their problem, not yours. There is a golden old saying, "Consider the source." Let it just bounce off you, praise the Lord and find something better to do maybe? Some people would like to think they've rattled you. It's the incessant game of trolls. They're not worth serious consideration, at all.

elf3 · Apr 29, 2015

If we as Christians do not display love, respect and humility to everyone we talk with then are we truly living as Christ would have us live? If I give respect you darn well better give respect back or you are in for quite a Bible beating. I am tired of the Holier than tho attitude that should not be shown from a Christian. Are you better than anyone else? are you not a sinner? From what i understand from Biblical truth only Jesus never sinned. You think I am saying I am better than you by this? Haha wanna know about me? I am for sure no saint yet the Bible calls us believers in Christ saints. Me a saint? Only by the blood of Christ could i ever be called a saint.

Cairparavel · Apr 30, 2015

I apologize for the super-complainy rant, but the rules say I can't erase after 5 min. So there it is forever on CC for all to view. Hopefully this post will get kicked to the wayside. I know better than to let feelings get the best of me...

I was just in a particularly extra-senstive mood.

Percepi · Apr 30, 2015

Don't worry about it. Many of us can relate to your issue. In fact, this thread can remind us that even if we feel strongly about a topic, it's sometimes a good idea to think of better ways of relaying our message.

I can understand why such a topic can become emotional for you, especially if someone drives the point into the ground repeatedly. If you find yourself in this position again, there are numerous ways you can approach this situation. You can sit through it and try to build up your resistance to what's being said so you have more control over your composure in the future. You can speak up and politely ask them to move the topic along a little - or better yet, join into the conversation and move the topic along yourself. Or you can leave the room and allow yourself to regain your composure.

Remember, you're an active agent with multiple choices in how you want to interact and effect your surroundings. Experiment.

Anyway, I hope this helps!

Oh, and if you want this thread locked, I'm sure a moderator will kindly do so if you ask politely.

dcontroversal · Apr 30, 2015

elf3 said:

Just a few points to ponder......

Was Jesus being full of love, respect and humility when he...

1. Drove the money changers from the temple with a whip
2. Called the Pharisees a bunch of white washed coffins filled with the bones of dead men
3. Called the scribes and Pharisees hypocrits
4. Called them the blind leaders of the blind

Was John being full of love, humility and respect when he

1. Ripped the Pharisees and called them a generation of vipers
2. Spoke of the axe laid to the root

Was Paul full of love, humility and respect when he...

1. Told the church that he was not going to spare when he came unto them?

Or John when he called the false teachers anti-christs

Or Jude when he ripped the false teachers of HIS day.........

Sometimes LOVE, RESPECT and HUMILITY demand the truth being spoken when it needs to be spoken and in a way that gets the point across........Now, I am not sating I agree with what user X did by repeating himself so as to offend the Original Poster of this thread.......but for sure we are to speak up and teach the truth no matter who it hurts and or even if some despise it and are easily offended at the truth..........!

oldthennew · Apr 30, 2015

Cairparavel said:

=======================================

Cairparavel,

we hear you,

never beat yourself up for communicating your heart-felt feelings or emotions -
just remember to put a Spiritual compass on them for preservations sake..

we pray that your family will come to understand the precious love that
you have for them - they are truly blessed.

Utah · Apr 30, 2015

Cairparavel said:

Anyone who has Wasabi Mayonnaise as their avatar is alright with me.

My heartfelt prayers are lifted up to you and your family, that God will open their eyes and hearts to His glorious Truth. Lean on God for your peace and comfort, and don't let the haters rattle you. God bless!

slave · Apr 30, 2015

Percepi said:

The entire point was in this thread to have compassion. Jesus teaches us that as well.. Jesus didn't just make people sit and listen for ever to what the truth is because they were seen by Him as sinners needing to change so sit or else.....He came as king to serve us, sacrifice for us, love us first, even tho sins doom was all true, and we were at fault for it.

. He fed them first. For even the secular schools of thought, the hierarchy of needs, tell us that if one is hungry humans won't even listen to the other issues first, they are starving and thinking of food first, we must discern need in people.. So, as this person spoke their heart we say too bad people need to hear this anyway?!!

I do not disagree with the fact that the doom of man is the result of not acting in accordance with Gods teachings and belief in Him, and I agree with you because the Bible tells us so.. And as I agree this is sometimes, even, the Words the Spirit will lead us to say, directly, to some in that position to be moved to change. Yet, the character and spirit of God is that of mercy and kindness. And God knows the need of the person at that particular time of interchange that will be most attractive to the listener for the response God would want to see in that person.

We need to let God dictate timing, thru the Holy Spirit in us then and always have love and grace enter the door first. We need to care for the people we lead to the truth enough to be empathetic to their immediate needs, and be able to discern them thru our Spirit, listening intently for that need so as to give the best efficient way to the listening of the truth of the words you and I both have said of the sinners need to be reconciled thru confession and change.

"Per", I have no problem with your point or even you, at all. But the fact this person made a thread because their spirit was crushed, and was asking kindly for consideration of that, I was crushed, when I saw it happen again...

Gods Word says He is crushed when this happens too. It is not just the right and wrong answers. It is the way in which they are delivered that leaves testimony of Christ behind as much as His conclusions of sin. We need not defend anything in regards to the sin found in atheism and thats just it! ....From knowing we need not defend it we are left free to have loving grace with our brethren and non-Christian counterparts. We need not win any fights for the Lord, only to maintain its integrity and placement of victory. Our demeanor changes from the two different premises.

"Cair" I am sorry you have been hurt by some peoples responses, I am sorry for your family members that are painfully not with God yet, I will pray doubly hard for them as well, may God be in the middle of that and move in their lives...God bless you and your loved ones.

slave · Apr 30, 2015

dcontroversal said:

Yes, Jesus was full of all three, always toward men.... It is not the lack of love respect or humility, in these cases, it was in the needed message at the time. Love never left anyone of those messages, otherwise the power of the message would not have born fruit. When you say at the end "Sometimes love respect and humility demand the truth being spoken, I read that as you have said it to mean...The love itself, in its nature of itself, the respect regardless of the meaning of the word itself, and humility, the very root meaning of that word are allowed to be opposed of its value for a moment while claiming to use it for a greater good. This is inconsistent theology. I do not agree.

God never let's you go to that end to conclude one truth of His over another one. Scripture speaks of this too. So, what I would describe as what you were highlighting would be "tough love", and yes, Gods timing has need for this approach with some people at certain times. As was demonstrated in the temple... But never to lose our foundation of Love to enter into it.

We see this many times with Jesus in the bible over the Hypocrites, He is God remember, and has a right to judge; He not us. But in His judgement He did not hate men but sins work in people that mocked the beauty of Gods grace found in the real victory of grace in men. This was a anger not of men, but of sin and Satan's ploys. We are to hate evil but never the men of which hold that evil even for a time until repentance. This is the Word of Gods calling.

MadParrotWoman · Apr 30, 2015

This is a great topic and I'm so glad it has been aired here. I have the very same issues going on. Unless you have these issues you cannot possibly understand how hard it is to see your loved-ones continuously reject God. Other Christians tell you to pray for them but it's hard when you can only see them drifting further and further away which in turn pushes you further and further away from having a closer relationship with them causing untold problems and strife.

To the original poster, don't regret airing this issue, the fact you couldn't delete it was a blessing in disguise.

slave · Apr 30, 2015

When we bury emotions there are some very major symptoms that can result; some that come to mind are:

Fatigue.
Depression/ without cause.
Speaking of issues rather than personal matters/ detachment.
Pretending something doesn't matter when it really does matter.
Rarely talking about feelings.
Blowing over minor incidents/suppressing them.
Feeling your anger, not at the time of the incident, but a few days later.
In relationships talking about money/children/issues instead of talking about ourselves.
Difficulty talking about yourself.
Troubled personal relationships with Family, Friends, and Acquaintances.
A lack of ambition or motivation.
Difficulty accepting yourself and others. Laughing on the outside while crying on the inside.

....and I am sure there are many more..Don't be afraid of your emotions, God says. Don't fight them, run from them, blocking them out. Jesus says He created them and wants us to welcome them, regardless of what they are at the time.

God says simply surrender all of yourself to Him, and He will mold us like clay to have all He has made in us and for us to work like clockwork. God knows emotions dissipate and slowly disappear if you feel them, and are present with them, He gives you control and room to feel free to exercise them in that control.

God does not say ignore them to a better life, sounds like Law... He says close your eyes and feel them as deeply as you can, and He will finish His work in you in even that area of your life, to bear fruit there as well. We are free to feel. Feel all things but not all things are best for us, so He will gently guide us along life's way in love as a Father treats a loved son.

JesusIsAll · Apr 30, 2015

Percepi said:

Leaving the room is always a good option, as it's not healthy to let things have a very negative emotional impact. You have to take the general flow of discourse for what it is in anonymous web forums, and, if it's not a personal attack, it's probably healthier to not participate in things generally, a mistake to be hanging in that venue, when simply the conversation is going to cause emotional upheaval. You have to anticipate all, in a more Wild West environment. Find another forum, or move on to doing something else, that restores you to a healthy centeredness.

JesusIsAll · Apr 30, 2015

Utah said:

Didn't know there was Wasabi mayonnaise. That sounds splendid!

KohenMatt · Apr 30, 2015

These types of forums have plenty of people who feel entitled to share whatever message they want in whatever tone they want from the safety of their computer screens, knowing they don't have to actually engage in a real conversation with others. This can give them a false sense of comfort and entitlement to share brashly.

I would imagine that if the majority of these people had a face to face conversation with others in these rooms, they wouldn't speak with anything close to the harshness they do here.

My approach? If my 2-year old daughter throws food at my face, am I going to take it personally? No. She's immature and doesn't know what she's doing. If someone chooses to judge, condemn or "preach" harshly, I don't take it personally. Most times, it's just a result of spiritual immaturity.

JFSurvivor · Apr 30, 2015

Cairparavel said:

omg feelings are fine to have! You should be allowed to have them especially in a Christian forum where people SHOULD combine sensitivity and truth.

didymos · Apr 30, 2015

JFSurvivor said:

Talking about sensitivity of other cc users: please don't say 'omg,' even if you mean 'oh my gosh.' Thank you.

elf3 · Apr 30, 2015

dcontroversal said:

Yep, Jesus was showing love, respect and humility when He did that. Love, respect and humility towards God the Father. He showed love to God as Love by not letting them "use" the temple for their gain. Respect for God as He knew that what they were doing was direspectful to God. Humility because He wasnt worried what others thought but what God thought.

John did the same thing as he was more worried what God would think than others. Is our love, respect and humility only to be towards others or should it be towards God also? I would rather show love, respect and humility For God than what others would think of me. Sure I Know some on here dont like what I have to say but I only speak truth according to Gods Word. As soon as someone can 100% prove to me that what i believe is not in Gods Word then I will appologize to everyone. But, pretty hard to do when all i believe is proven by Gods Word. I can back up every doctrine i have with Gods Word so....love, respect and humility should be God first. But, I will speak to and treat others the same. No i am not perfect and I may not always do it perfectly but I will strive to do that because i love, respect and am humble before God first.

So read all those passages that you refer to again and see who the love respect and humility are first focused on.

Angela53510 · Apr 30, 2015

Cairparavel said:

I want to encourage you DO NOT GIVE UP!!

My grandmother was a strong Christian, who prayed for all her children from the day they were born to accept Christ. And she prayed for all her grandchildren from the day they were born. She died in 1980, the year I got saved. So I prayed for my father, till 2011, when he got very sick from congestive heart failure. He got scared, and between my husband and myself, we were able to lead him to the Lord at age 83. That is 83 years of prayer.

But the story of my grandmother's prayers did not end with my father. Last year, a bunch of my extended family went for dinner. My humanist aunt was there long with her daughter and her husband. Now this cousin never even had the opportunity to go to Baptist Sunday School, like I did for a few years.

But when I asked to say grace, she wanted her husband to say it! It was a Spirit-filled, exalting Jesus prayer, that went on much longer than grace usually does! LOL I asked her about how she got saved, and it was a miracle of God.

So do not give up on praying and witnessing to your family. God knows who will be saved, but he does hear and answer our prayers. I pray that one day, you will see your prayers answered. But if not, don't be surprised if it takes another 41 years to answer that prayer.

"The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance." 2 Peter 3:

God bless!

Sensitivity in the chatroom

Cairparavel

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JesusIsAll

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elf3

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