"Standing in the armor of God?"

[p_rehbein]

Be aware I am extremely hard pressed in life to come back here often, so before you even read the rest of this understand this may take me weeks to get through my full desire to understand what others mean and to respond to answers.

If you don't have that kind of patience, not a problem. I don't usually either, so I won't be upset if you walk away. BUT you might want to walk away now before even getting caught up in my questions, because this will probably take weeks to figure this out. Okay?

Now the questions. I see people talking about standing in the full armor of God often enough on here. I know what I mean when I say that. (I don't say that often.) What I'm asking is what do you mean by that?

What's the purpose of the armor to you? What do you do in it? How is your life in it? Where are you standing? What is the setting around you? What do you see in that armor? For what purpose do you wear it?

Sister:

I think I'm like comment #40 or so here. And let me say that I have not yet read all of the other comments, as my ADD and OTD sometimes prevents me from getting through a lot of the threads with numerous comments.

That being understood, I will say that I understand your reason(s) for asking the questions.

The very best example I can give in my own experience, is the experience I am now going through in my life. I know you, and others here are aware of this experience, so I will not detail it here. I will say that IF the armour of God was not surrounding me, I would probably not be here today fellowshipping with all of you.

It is BECAUSE of His armour, His strength, His blessings, and His will that I am able to be here. I know He is the REASON, my refuge, my salvation, and this is what "standing in the armour of God" means to me. Although I most often refer to it as being "protected by" the armour of God, or "surrounded by" the armour of God.

One Scripture, can't recall Book, Chapter and Verse right off, says "I am nothing without Him." For me, this is the Gospel Truth!

May He surround all of you!

 

[Depleted]

Trying to think of my day yesterday to answer your question about what a day of this race of faith looks like...
I woke with worry, once again, over not being able to find a job. I immediately prayed to God to look on my weakness of faith and have pity on me. I talked it out with scripture - He knows everything I need, I just have to seek Him first, I'm not to worry about my provision like unbelievers do, etc. That was the first battle of faith in Him.

Then my car broke down and I became very impatient and snappish and had to be reminded that He guides my every step. He brings whatever circumstance at every moment that will be good for me to test my faith in Him because faith is like a muscle that grows through pressure and exertion being brought on it. This pressure and exertion IS the battle. Specifically, will I keep trusting Him or will I complain about my circumstance I find myself in like Israel kept doing in the desert? From pressure being applied daily to a muscle, it gains more and more endurance and it can bear more.

My biggest battle every day seems to be trusting Him when my flesh, which craves comfort instead of the pressure, wants to complain. I don't like to exercise!

Faith grows and gains endurance by being tested with pressure and coming out victorious against all that seeks to hinder it. Mostly, I just keep praying and mostly, that prayer is just yelling help, I need You. Many times a day.

That's the side I hate. (Which is also probably the reason I'm in that so often. That patience thingy. Feels like being forced into a spoonful of cod liver oil -- I know it's good for me, but it taste yucky.) God seems to teach a very narrow number of lessons for our lives. Hubby always gets, "I love you no matter what." I always get, "Trust me no matter what."

I keep thinking, "I've learned this lesson, Father." And then he changes it up just enough to get me to realize, "Well, I've learned it for that last circumstance, but can't apply it to this one."

A lot of those change-ups had to do with jobs. Before this century, (those jets crashing into the Trade Center seemed to be the turning point for this), when hubby looked for a new job, it took him all of 1-2 business days. At one point, he quit a job, drove home, and his first wife asked why another company was calling him to offer him a job.

But me? The best I ever did was get a new job within a mere 5 months. Usually it took longer. I can give you that God did give me the bare necessities every time though. I always had something to eat, but weeks when "something to eat" meant a choice between popcorn or pressed-ham sandwiches. I had a place to live, although one of those places wasn't heated well. (My landlord went from radiators to baseboard heat, and thought 8 feet of baseboard would heat a room big enough to have 8-foot-high windows with half-an-inch gaps between the frame and glass, a living room area, dining room area big enough for a large table, kitchenette and office nook.) I saw my breath, but for some strange reason I also had seven blankets to cover up at night. My car died once on the way to a job interview, and we couldn't get it fixed until I got a job and got paid. (I got that job, but that ended up being a terrible job. Because I gave two weeks notice, I worked there for five weeks, which gave us just enough money to get the car fixed. lol) Each time, I couldn't see how God could pull this one off, but he always did.

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure this armor has a built-in stretchability, because God keeps forcing us to stretch when all we want is comfortable.

Is your car fixable before finding a job? Or do you have to wait for the job to get it fixed?

 

[Depleted]

If you make a complete 100 percent surrender to Christ, no churching around, you best get a hold of the whole armor of God, or you'll end up toast! From one among many who knows.

Are you suggesting armor is optional?

 

[Depleted]

I really do hear you, Lynn. And I honestly can say that I'm in a rest right now from battles. Maybe the Lord is either refreshing me from what I have been through, or he is preparing me....

What I had that you don't seem to is so much family who were literally drivers, cart the wheelchair when needed, take him to appointments, make me dinner and helped care for my husband during his last days. I have 5 children and then there are the 10 grandchildren who are literally just the same. This is not bragging, it is just what it was and is. Even now, I'm brought food, taken to lunch, taken shopping, even taken to the beach and short 'getaways'. I'm treated like I'm loved.

I miss my husband dearly, but he was not my whole life. I have for years led bible studies and written Christian books. I'm still doing that. I'm surrounded with Christian women who show me love. I miss his loving presence that really no one else can fill, but this is the first time in my life that I have not had to worry about anything. I'm not in the "alert" mode that I lived in for years. After 3 heart attacks, a stroke, Parkinsons and Alzheimers. I lost my husband in so many ways many years before he died. But it for sure feels soooo good to be at rest now.

I'm not battling anything. I'm totally at peace. And maybe it is selfish of me, but I don't even want to worry about the world today. There is no energy left in me to worry about anything.

Tired might be a good word.

Then Ecclesiastes 3 is still in effect. Sounds like you're living in "a time to build-up."

And, I'll boast for you -- God has gifted you with wonderful family and friends. That's wonderful to hear.

 

[Depleted]

Hi Lynn, I see the armour a little differently now.

It says to put on the full armour of God and to STAND.

It doesn't say to fight or lunge or run into battle. I think it means
to believe in God's promises, to have faith, to walk in His provision,
to be who we are to be in Christ and let Him fight out battles for us,
while spreading the Gospel of peace. Strange that isn't it that we associate
armour with peace.

I say this because it's when I have come to an end of myself and handed
everything over to God, that He has fought and won on my behalf. I just
have to put on His armour as protection.


By the way did you know that it really is His armour, not ours.
Check out the following.



Isaiah 59:15-17 NKJV
[15] So truth fails, And he who departs from evil makes himself a prey. Then the
LORD saw it, and it displeased Him That there was no justice. [16] He saw
that there was no man, And wondered that there was no intercessor; Therefore
His own arm brought salvation for Him; And His own righteousness, it sustained
Him. [17] For He put on righteousness as a breastplate, And a helmet of salvation
on His head; He put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, And was clad
with zeal as a cloak.

Ack! I want to respond now, but it has to wait until I have the time. I didn't know Paul was paraphrasing Isaiah. That's cool!

 

[Miri]

I really do hear you, Lynn. And I honestly can say that I'm in a rest right now from battles. Maybe the Lord is either refreshing me from what I have been through, or he is preparing me....

What I had that you don't seem to is so much family who were literally drivers, cart the wheelchair when needed, take him to appointments, make me dinner and helped care for my husband during his last days. I have 5 children and then there are the 10 grandchildren who are literally just the same. This is not bragging, it is just what it was and is. Even now, I'm brought food, taken to lunch, taken shopping, even taken to the beach and short 'getaways'. I'm treated like I'm loved.

I miss my husband dearly, but he was not my whole life. I have for years led bible studies and written Christian books. I'm still doing that. I'm surrounded with Christian women who show me love. I miss his loving presence that really no one else can fill, but this is the first time in my life that I have not had to worry about anything. I'm not in the "alert" mode that I lived in for years. After 3 heart attacks, a stroke, Parkinsons and Alzheimers. I lost my husband in so many ways many years before he died. But it for sure feels soooo good to be at rest now.

I'm not battling anything. I'm totally at peace. And maybe it is selfish of me, but I don't even want to worry about the world today. There is no energy left in me to worry about anything.

Tired might be a good word.

Aww God bless you and watch over you, make His face to shine upon you.
Im sure God has not finished with you yet, rest in Him for now.

x

 

[BeyondET]

I thought God would go easy on me because of what we're going through. Kind of slide on the world. But he seemed to up the ante -- people begging for money (are they really in need or are they conning me?), John's roommates, albeit temporary were going through tough times themselves, so needed prayer, getting to know the long-termers at the nursing home and bringing a laugh, or talking out what they needed at the time, helping folks I meet, and always a joke for someone who could use one.

Do you know anyone who could use some help, or a friend, or encouragement? If we were supposed to help everyone, God would have made us much richer. lol And the thing the verse say the most to me is to pray for those who are evangelizing or preaching. And to pray against rulers, authority, wild storms, and such. God will do what Gd will do, but what happens if we all get to praying in our spiffy armor?

Whether things are going wrong or right, there is time to help and more time to pray.

Yea I agree this life is a crazy life,
thats good news that your able to help people in nursing homes comforting them with a shoulder truly God works in mysterious ways and some are easy and some are not. I've been places in storms in my life that I say why am I in this storm for a purpose I can't explain. Indeed prayers are a good thing surely I need to do more of it and not of feelings of hearts of feelings of people in the prayers I read of people but rather I should shut that down for its probably not a prayer for my words are silent.

 

[Stunnedbygrace]

Fixed now, don't worry, Martha!
Your post reminds me of something I read by some saint recently who has been dead for centuries now. He said God has to detach us from all we trust in other than Him and that to do this He has to literally take these things from us sometimes or we would just remain deceived that we are trusting only in Him when really, we aren't.

Though i think sometimes our problem may not be that we don't trust Him to provide but that we are just fearful He won't provide as MUCH as we want. I guess then that it's a problem of our own will clashing wi th His if we can't be content with whatever His Providence wills, whether overabundance or just enough...

That's the side I hate. (Which is also probably the reason I'm in that so often. That patience thingy. Feels like being forced into a spoonful of cod liver oil -- I know it's good for me, but it taste yucky.) God seems to teach a very narrow number of lessons for our lives. Hubby always gets, "I love you no matter what." I always get, "Trust me no matter what."

I keep thinking, "I've learned this lesson, Father." And then he changes it up just enough to get me to realize, "Well, I've learned it for that last circumstance, but can't apply it to this one."

A lot of those change-ups had to do with jobs. Before this century, (those jets crashing into the Trade Center seemed to be the turning point for this), when hubby looked for a new job, it took him all of 1-2 business days. At one point, he quit a job, drove home, and his first wife asked why another company was calling him to offer him a job.

But me? The best I ever did was get a new job within a mere 5 months. Usually it took longer. I can give you that God did give me the bare necessities every time though. I always had something to eat, but weeks when "something to eat" meant a choice between popcorn or pressed-ham sandwiches. I had a place to live, although one of those places wasn't heated well. (My landlord went from radiators to baseboard heat, and thought 8 feet of baseboard would heat a room big enough to have 8-foot-high windows with half-an-inch gaps between the frame and glass, a living room area, dining room area big enough for a large table, kitchenette and office nook.) I saw my breath, but for some strange reason I also had seven blankets to cover up at night. My car died once on the way to a job interview, and we couldn't get it fixed until I got a job and got paid. (I got that job, but that ended up being a terrible job. Because I gave two weeks notice, I worked there for five weeks, which gave us just enough money to get the car fixed. lol) Each time, I couldn't see how God could pull this one off, but he always did.

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure this armor has a built-in stretchability, because God keeps forcing us to stretch when all we want is comfortable.

Is your car fixable before finding a job? Or do you have to wait for the job to get it fixed?

 

[Miri]

those Roman soldiers... i hear they had nails in the bottom of their sandals (going toward the ground lol).
the nails were meant to give them firm footing, so their feet wouldn't slip in battle.

in Eph 6:15 when it says "and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace."
that word "readiness" (also rendered preparation by some translators) is given alternate meanings of "foundation" and "firm footing". that's God's Gospel in Christ Jesus, our foundation and firm place to STAND.

great verses from Isaiah, Miri.
i had a whole Biblical thing typed out about God's armor, and then decided to go with honesty, instead.

i believe what you said about God being the one who fights... still, it does feel like a battle from time to time.

It would still be good to hear what you were going to say.
The battle certainly is real and it often seems like a game of snakes and ladders. I was
saying to a friend yesterday, we need to pray for more ladders and less snakes.

 

[Miri]

Whenever I think of the armour of God, it reminds me of David and Goliath.
King Saul gave David his armour but it didn't fit and was too cumbersome.
So David took it off and instead he put on God's armour.


The battle is and always has been, the Lord's


1 Samuel 17:45-46 NKJV
[45] Then David said to the Philistine, "You come to me with a sword,
with a spear, and with a javelin. But I come to you in the name of the LORD
of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. [46] This
day the LORD will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take
your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp
of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth,
that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel.




Judges 7:2-7 NKJV
[2] And the LORD said to Gideon, "The people who are with
you are too many for Me to give the Midianites into their hands,
lest Israel claim glory for itself against Me, saying, 'My own hand
has saved me.' [3] Now therefore, proclaim in the hearing of the
people, saying, 'Whoever is fearful and afraid, let him turn and
depart at once from Mount Gilead.'" And twenty-two thousand
of the people returned, and ten thousand remained.

[4] But the LORD said to Gideon, "The people are still too many;
bring them down to the water, and I will test them for you there.
Then it will be, that of whom I say to you, 'This one shall go with you,'
the same shall go with you; and of whomever I say to you, 'This one
shall not go with you,' the same shall not go."

[5] So he brought the people down to the water. And the LORD
said to Gideon, "Everyone who laps from the water with his tongue,
as a dog laps, you shall set apart by himself; likewise everyone who
gets down on his knees to drink." [6] And the number of those who
lapped, putting their hand to their mouth, was three hundred men;
but all the rest of the people got down on their knees to drink water.
[7] Then the LORD said to Gideon, "By the three hundred men who
lapped I will save you, and deliver the Midianites into your hand.
Let all the other people go, every man to his place."



Plus so many other examples, walls of Jerico, the four lepers who were
starving and went outside the city walls to find the armies had gone.
Moses cross sea etc.

In some ways our battles seem harder because there is no physical
fight. For most it's spiritual, good verses evil, we fight the world the
flesh and the devil. But the battle is always the Lord's.

Lord give us the courage of David.

 

[Depleted]

This is what it means to me, but This also dovetails into it...

When someone posts things for the greater good, I tend to not connect. Your first "This" felt like that. (I'm not saying you did that. I'm saying I felt that. Can't really help how I feel.) I just read your second "This." You used "we." We works for me, because we tells me you struggle with this as much as I do. You don't feel better-than. So the second one does hit what I was asking... and Amen!

 

[Depleted]

Hi Lynn, I see the armour a little differently now.

It says to put on the full armour of God and to STAND.

It doesn't say to fight or lunge or run into battle. I think it means
to believe in God's promises, to have faith, to walk in His provision,
to be who we are to be in Christ and let Him fight out battles for us,
while spreading the Gospel of peace. Strange that isn't it that we associate
armour with peace.

I say this because it's when I have come to an end of myself and handed
everything over to God, that He has fought and won on my behalf. I just
have to put on His armour as protection.


By the way did you know that it really is His armour, not ours.
Check out the following.



Isaiah 59:15-17 NKJV
[15] So truth fails, And he who departs from evil makes himself a prey. Then the
LORD saw it, and it displeased Him That there was no justice. [16] He saw
that there was no man, And wondered that there was no intercessor; Therefore
His own arm brought salvation for Him; And His own righteousness, it sustained
Him. [17] For He put on righteousness as a breastplate, And a helmet of salvation
on His head; He put on the garments of vengeance for clothing, And was clad
with zeal as a cloak.

I'm noticing balance issues lately. (John's regaining his balance, and I've become more aware of what balance means because of it. So, for a change, I literally mean balance. lol) "Firm." The word after "Stand."

When John first joined the Navy he ended up on the same ship as his older brother, but it was an aircraft carrier, so they didn't really meet up for a while. His brother was into being the alpha dog and impressing the people around him, so his reaction to seeing his younger brother was to walk up to him and give him a good shove. They were both still teenagers, so his older brother was still having problems catching the implications of his "little" brother not being little anymore. Two days ago, John found a picture of his group on that carrier. Such a skinny kid. I'm not use to John being so thin. But "so thin" was 6' 2" and 190 pounds of muscles. (That's when he got into lifting weights.) "Big" brother shoved "little" brother. Big brother fell on his bum. John stood firm by default. (He didn't even see his brother until he looked to see who shoved him. lol)

Today, I could push John over just by clipping him as I walked by. (He'll get better with balance, so I'm not worried by that. Well, I'm trying not to show it around him anyway. lol) The firm part of standing requires muscles, the ability to adapt quickly, and some expectation of not falling down at any breeze. It has a definite military aspect to it, in battle and off the battlefield. Along with protecting ourselves, it's also to push back the enemy. And, it also is a particular advantage not to fall down if we're in the marketplace and the enemy happens to be walking by to get his groceries too, but plays a trick on us and pushes us into the tomato bin. Things like that don't usually change the outcome of the battle itself, but we're supposed to be prepared to show forth God's strength, instead of fold under the slightest breeze. The world is watching us, ready to laugh when we come up with a face full of tomatoes.

It also says to wrestle against rulers, authorities, cosmic powers, (I kind of picture that as Hurricane Katrina, floods in London, or earthquakes and tsunamis), and present darkness. Mostly it says to pray for others, particularly the evangelists and preachers.

One of the things the news makes light of in the aftermath of the last few weeks is prayer vigils after attacks. I see those as very healing. I think we might be missing an opportunity by not praying more often for God's will across the globe. We see what humanism and crazy people (Muslim terrorists) are doing. There is no rutter left now that God has been dismissed by so many.

Notmyown brought up "a child of his age." I didn't recognize the phrase until I was reading an article early today. Here's the complete quote referenced.

“The Church is the only thing that frees a man from the degrading slavery of being a child of his age.” G.K. Chesterton

We should be praying against the degrading slavery. But, if we do, and God says Yes, are we ready to teach people of life in true freedom? (I don't feel like I am.) I need that "firm" to go with my "stand," and the sword blazing away.

 

[Depleted]

those Roman soldiers... i hear they had nails in the bottom of their sandals (going toward the ground lol).
the nails were meant to give them firm footing, so their feet wouldn't slip in battle.

in Eph 6:15 when it says "and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace."
that word "readiness" (also rendered preparation by some translators) is given alternate meanings of "foundation" and "firm footing". that's God's Gospel in Christ Jesus, our foundation and firm place to STAND.

great verses from Isaiah, Miri.
i had a whole Biblical thing typed out about God's armor, and then decided to go with honesty, instead.

i believe what you said about God being the one who fights... still, it does feel like a battle from time to time.

Always a battle for me. I just wish it wasn't me against me so often. lol

 

[Depleted]

Yea I agree this life is a crazy life,
thats good news that your able to help people in nursing homes comforting them with a shoulder truly God works in mysterious ways and some are easy and some are not. I've been places in storms in my life that I say why am I in this storm for a purpose I can't explain. Indeed prayers are a good thing surely I need to do more of it and not of feelings of hearts of feelings of people in the prayers I read of people but rather I should shut that down for its probably not a prayer for my words are silent.

When I can't find the words, I tend to give something like this to God --

-- followed by, "You know what to do."

 

[Depleted]

Fixed now, don't worry, Martha!
Your post reminds me of something I read by some saint recently who has been dead for centuries now. He said God has to detach us from all we trust in other than Him and that to do this He has to literally take these things from us sometimes or we would just remain deceived that we are trusting only in Him when really, we aren't.

Though i think sometimes our problem may not be that we don't trust Him to provide but that we are just fearful He won't provide as MUCH as we want. I guess then that it's a problem of our own will clashing wi th His if we can't be content with whatever His Providence wills, whether overabundance or just enough...

Joni Eareckson Tada says that disabilities is God's way of reminding some of us that we really do need him constantly. Yup. Yup. I'm absolutely sure if life had gone according to my plan, I'd be giving me all the credit.

 

[Depleted]

It would still be good to hear what you were going to say.
The battle certainly is real and it often seems like a game of snakes and ladders. I was
saying to a friend yesterday, we need to pray for more ladders and less snakes.

But... but... ladders mean work, and snakes are fun to pet and watch.

(There's always one in the crowd. lol)

 

[Joidevivre]

I'm noticing balance issues lately. (John's regaining his balance, and I've become more aware of what balance means because of it. So, for a change, I literally mean balance. lol) "Firm." The word after "Stand."

When John first joined the Navy he ended up on the same ship as his older brother, but it was an aircraft carrier, so they didn't really meet up for a while. His brother was into being the alpha dog and impressing the people around him, so his reaction to seeing his younger brother was to walk up to him and give him a good shove. They were both still teenagers, so his older brother was still having problems catching the implications of his "little" brother not being little anymore. Two days ago, John found a picture of his group on that carrier. Such a skinny kid. I'm not use to John being so thin. But "so thin" was 6' 2" and 190 pounds of muscles. (That's when he got into lifting weights.) "Big" brother shoved "little" brother. Big brother fell on his bum. John stood firm by default. (He didn't even see his brother until he looked to see who shoved him. lol)

Today, I could push John over just by clipping him as I walked by. (He'll get better with balance, so I'm not worried by that. Well, I'm trying not to show it around him anyway. lol) The firm part of standing requires muscles, the ability to adapt quickly, and some expectation of not falling down at any breeze. It has a definite military aspect to it, in battle and off the battlefield. Along with protecting ourselves, it's also to push back the enemy. And, it also is a particular advantage not to fall down if we're in the marketplace and the enemy happens to be walking by to get his groceries too, but plays a trick on us and pushes us into the tomato bin. Things like that don't usually change the outcome of the battle itself, but we're supposed to be prepared to show forth God's strength, instead of fold under the slightest breeze. The world is watching us, ready to laugh when we come up with a face full of tomatoes.



This allegory is so good. You are one thinking lady, Lynn. Maybe you should be writing some books...

 

[Miri]

But... but... ladders mean work, and snakes are fun to pet and watch.

(There's always one in the crowd. lol)

Snakes can be beautiful lol. But think about the view from a mountain top.
Would love to know what was at the top of Jacobs ladder.

 

[Stunnedbygrace]

I'm noticing balance issues lately. (John's regaining his balance, and I've become more aware of what balance means because of it. So, for a change, I literally mean balance. lol) "Firm." The word after "Stand."

When John first joined the Navy he ended up on the same ship as his older brother, but it was an aircraft carrier, so they didn't really meet up for a while. His brother was into being the alpha dog and impressing the people around him, so his reaction to seeing his younger brother was to walk up to him and give him a good shove. They were both still teenagers, so his older brother was still having problems catching the implications of his "little" brother not being little anymore. Two days ago, John found a picture of his group on that carrier. Such a skinny kid. I'm not use to John being so thin. But "so thin" was 6' 2" and 190 pounds of muscles. (That's when he got into lifting weights.) "Big" brother shoved "little" brother. Big brother fell on his bum. John stood firm by default. (He didn't even see his brother until he looked to see who shoved him. lol)

Today, I could push John over just by clipping him as I walked by. (He'll get better with balance, so I'm not worried by that. Well, I'm trying not to show it around him anyway. lol) The firm part of standing requires muscles, the ability to adapt quickly, and some expectation of not falling down at any breeze. It has a definite military aspect to it, in battle and off the battlefield. Along with protecting ourselves, it's also to push back the enemy. And, it also is a particular advantage not to fall down if we're in the marketplace and the enemy happens to be walking by to get his groceries too, but plays a trick on us and pushes us into the tomato bin. Things like that don't usually change the outcome of the battle itself, but we're supposed to be prepared to show forth God's strength, instead of fold under the slightest breeze. The world is watching us, ready to laugh when we come up with a face full of tomatoes.



This allegory is so good. You are one thinking lady, Lynn. Maybe you should be writing some books...

This is odd because while I read that post, I thought the same thing. That He was surely going to have her write something one day.

 

[posthuman]

I get what it is, but what do you do once it's/he's on? Literally. Explain a day of armor wearing.

this morning i woke up early - well, late for me, but still hours before anyone else in the house. i was tempted to sin, but i had put on my breastplate before leaving the bedroom, so that blade was quickly turned. when i was younger, the mere existence of temptation would have made me doubt whether i was truly redeemed -- because i used to expect that who i will be after the end of things, when He has reconciled all things, is who i should be right this second. but now i sleep with my helmet on. i don't take it off. no bother.

i started to make coffee, though the cats had not been fed, and i hadn't seen to hugging them good morning yet, but was taking care of my own flesh first. stubbed my toe. ((good thing for that helmet now!)) -- so i put on the shoes, and saw to them while the coffee brewed. one of them likes to sit in the garage with me in the mornings - he is 'the cat whom post loved' i guess lol - so i took him with me and started practicing with my sword.
i did this because of the shield which was now strapped around my back. i have faith that i need this sword, and i need to be well-trained with it -- so i started going through basic stances and forms with it as i slipped the girdle around my waist.
i continued to train, and i did some light sparring.

later it was almost time to leave - there is a small group of elders in the church who have a 'mens breakfast' a few times a month, where we pray together and train further with our swords, and discuss how to take care of our armor. soldier-type stuff. making sure the shoes were snug, i checked the house. everyone is still sleeping, except some cats. saw to them. this is also swordwork: "a righteous man cares for his beasts" is part of the engraving on the blade.

drove to the church building. on the way there, a bird flew across the path, and i thought i had killed it. a flaming arrow in my shield - what are you, buddhist? you are driving too fast! death follows you, because you are condemned for your failrues, even though you escape them with your actions, your flesh still harbors them, and the universe knows. why do you have this car anyway? idolater! -- but the shield is thick, and the flames extinguish. i ray for the bird, but i'm afraid to check. i keep driving. every time i stop, i think about it, but i keep going until i get to the church lot, afraid to discover that i have actually killed something. that's a rock in my shoe.
so i get there, and i get out and check the grill. the scoop. no bird! i thank God, and pull the charred remains of the arrow from the shield. a brother from his chariot hails me - "another Bambi?" he jokes. "no - a bird" i call, and tell him after checking that it's OK. we both thank God. i go in -- he's talking to some civilians that he serves.

the pastor greets me at the door - "good morning, rock star"
((what does that mean?)) i didn't even notice it, but later i see that a thrown knife, cheaply made, has glanced off my breastplate. it was aimed at my vanity. but this is a thing long dead, that i hate.
we make merry, and there is a long-lost kin here today. we look at each other's reflections in the shields hung by the coffee bar while we talk. we have the same Father - shared memories; similar childhoods. raised in some of the same realms. the same heraldry emblazons our arms, and we are fast friends, in brotherly affection.

we eat, and then feed on the bread of life. we take up our arms, and practice. each man wears his shoes, and is courteous, quick to forgive. each man is gird tightly, and if any come loose, another quickly tightens his kit for him. it is hard, in armor, to see to your own securing; so brothers are invaluable - we are not wealthy men now, who could afford squires. but there are times when angels have seen to us all, to do what we could not, for the bulk of our gear - in battle, when we are called to the service of the King.
each man wears his helmet securely, and there is no danger in our sparring. some are skilled with the shield, and some with the sword, and we teach each other techniques, and we learn of each other: sharpening like iron. oddly, no sparks fly! haha.

i taught at a large group on wednesday. while we are training, one of the others remarks on how well i did. another agrees. i protest - that old dagger wound, under my breastplate, complains. a third says the same: the pastor. ((there it is again, the "rockstar" comment)) it hurts, like it has happened all over again in my mind.
"i don't need any help being puffed up" i say. "it isn't me, but the Lord"
the blade twists away from my heart on the hard platemail. shatters. there's a mark, but it's not a scratch - just a spot where some grime has been rubbed off.
their shields flash - and someone takes a bundle of arrows and shakes it, scattering light - a sign of triumph; coup has been counted on an enemy.

it is good; we train now in more earnest.

one man, who is leading the sword training today, remarks how he had been in the fray for many seasons, and in the heat of it, only last week realized that he had at some point lost a gauntlet, and discovered that his had had several deep wounds in it. infected. there are tears in his eyes. some men look down; i think they aren't wearing gauntlets either - out of the corner of my eye i might have caught someone scratching at their forearm absently.. ? but my gaze is fixed on that man with the tear on his cheek. not his wound - his eyes, under the helmet, that even now he wears. i see dents in it. streaks of odd colors, bright spots and scratches. those are signs of victory.
he maneuvers his shield to the other arm, covering it, and goes on telling us about the riposte and stance of Jacob.

later, after training, we pray together. i pray for all of them, for the wound i saw, that they all might be protected. not just for them, but for every brother and sister. i have been to the infirmary and seen how common this is.

after we have prayed the group breaks up into pairs and starts to disperse. i find the man with the wound - the one who discovered it, and did not hide it from us, but then didn't want to see to it. out of my girdle i bring a bandage and a salve. i show him some things engraved on the hilt of my weapon, that speak about the construction of gauntlets. i tell him that i have visited the infirmary at the battle lines, and how i have wept over so many with similar wounds. it is endemic, a cut from a poison scimitar, and the stench of the putrification of it drives brothers apart. but the salve will cure this. all a soldier needs to do is understand and admit that they have been cut, and it is easily healed -- although, if you go out again without the gauntlets, and you drop the guard of your blade in that certain way again, you will likely receive again the same wound.

we will teach others these techniques, so that the whole force may be strengthened. ignorance and lack of discipline can destroy even the best equipped.



i drive home. i look for the bird, in the place where i thought i hit it, but there is a turtle! a living one! and no bird. i take the rock out of my shoe, scoop up the little life, and praise God again -- i take her home, just a few miles away now, to show my wife & son, who is waking up by now. my shield gleams as i tell her what had happened. my wife says, "you thought you would find death, but you found life! praise God!"
we share some time with the little animal, then let her go behind the house, in some dark woods. the place where i found her was open land, in the middle of houses where many dogs run free, who kill for no reason. and a road where many people drive too fast, and don't care for the life of other creatures. that is, they are shoeless, bare chested.



these are the first 5 hours of my day today, in my armor.
only when thinking back on it later, do i realize that i had been walking through a veritable storm of darts, arrows, thrown knives, and footmen thrusting at me with spears, javelins, knives and short-arms.
angels struggles all around me with the heavier foes, and the armor is strong, and with few openings, well hidden by a proper gait and stance, and a defensive position of sword and shield, which by itself can cut off as much as 75% of attack planes. they are weak opponents, and weak weapons ((though poison if one goes out unshod)) -- and most splinter or turn aside without me even noticing. like a stone golem, oblivious to the wooden clubs, soft, bronze daggers and brittle flint arrows of short-bows bouncing off of him and shattering.

it's only in the replay i see this. then, i look like a different man to myself - almost unrecognizable. determined. focused. looking straight ahead, neither to the left nor to the right. and why not? it is not me that lives in there -- it is Christ. i walk the way the dead walk, raised again as if a lich, inhabited by a spirit who laughs at death. oblivious. strong. purposeful. unrelenting.

because i know that i can trust fully in this aegis. that the foe is powerless.
that's the way it looks, anyway - in some parts, when i watch the film. in other parts, i'm cowering, waving away a dagger that doesn't even exist, clutching at a scar, afraid of .. of what? that a dead man will die again? there is no way that brittle blade will actually penetrate that shield. it is not possible for it to pierce that mailshirt. i look stupid now, to myself, in the vid, but in that moment, it was so real.

i suppose it's like this for everyone.
but that's the reason we watch the replays. it teaches us more than one thing: to be confident, and joyful -- and also to be humble, and meek. because under all that armor, we are still weak men, and without that armor, nothing.

so i sleep with the helmet on. always.