Why Do Christians Divorce?

[MrChris]

There are many excuses for divorce. There are not as many reasons for divorce.

Marriage is a covenant relationship. A man and a woman covenant with God to be husband and wife for life. When the covenant is broken it is first broken with God. Marriage is not always easy but the walk of a Christian is not always easy.

When anything is loved above God it is a problem. A man will not cheat on his wife and a man will not abuse his wife if he loves and serves the Lord Jesus above all else.

Divorce is a heart problem. Divorce is a problem when Christians wish to remarry. The problem is that their hearts remain hard and cold toward God and seek only to gratify themselves.

For the cause of Christ
Roger

I was going to say what you said, but hit a linguistic brick wall.

Thanks.

 

[Dreamstate]

Because they get to know each other enough and make sure they are compatible and they know how a good lasting marriage works.

 

[jenniferand2]

It's been proclaimed from pulpits and blogs for years Christians divorce as much as everyone else in America.

What are your thoughts and opinions why there is a high rate of Christian divorces?

What are the top reasons for Christian divorce?

the top reasons Chrisitans divorce now i think is because there are a lot of false preachers out there who says that divorce is not as bad as it was originally thought to be.. We also have woman who are more capable of caring for themselves with out needing a man. NO offense guy's also sometimes I think people just give up it is easier to divorce then it is to work on problems. but my guess is that some how some where along the line divorce became not as much of a taboo in church like it used to be. people are not shall i say shunned for it anymore. Also I think with all the hustle and bustle in the world people are not really getting to know each other real well before they marry. we live in a fast paced world now compared to before and everything is quick quick. Before it was all ehh we have pletny of time and hush hush. So what i mean by hush hush was your business was your own business back then now today everyone knows everything.. That is my answer and I am sticking to it lol.

 

[Dreamstate]

the top reasons Chrisitans divorce now i think is because there are a lot of false preachers out there who says that divorce is not as bad as it was originally thought to be.. We also have woman who are more capable of caring for themselves with out needing a man. NO offense guy's also sometimes I think people just give up it is easier to divorce then it is to work on problems. but my guess is that some how some where along the line divorce became not as much of a taboo in church like it used to be. people are not shall i say shunned for it anymore. Also I think with all the hustle and bustle in the world people are not really getting to know each other real well before they marry. we live in a fast paced world now compared to before and everything is quick quick. Before it was all ehh we have pletny of time and hush hush. So what i mean by hush hush was your business was your own business back then now today everyone knows everything.. That is my answer and I am sticking to it lol.

Are you a nun ?

 

[Angela53510]

I was also going to point out abuse as a big issue in marriages. Some Christian men, wrongly reading the Bible, think that they are masters and their wives are slaves. This inequitable relationship is always going to end in divorce. Or death of the victim!

Abuse is about controlling someone else. So, it is not just about physical abuse, but financial, emotional, social, child rearing, sexual and many other issues. Mostly, a combination of one or more. An abuser is not going to try and control someone in just one area of their lives. Instead, the need to control spills over into many areas. And violent person is going to end up physically abusing their spouse, which is the final straw in destroying a marriage relationship.

No person should have to endure continuous abuse at the hands of someone who is supposed to love them.

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body." Eph. 5:25-30

Christ never controlled or abused his church. And to say the husband NEEDS to control his wife, because she is not behaving, is a total twisting of marriage. Marriage is not about the husband disciplining the wife, as one would a child. Instead, it is a mutual relationship of caring, sharing, helping and loving.

A good book to read on this topic is "A Cry for Justice" by Jeff Crippen, a pastor. He was counselling women to go back to their husbands and love them more. What he ended up with, was dead wives. Because an abuser needs more help than just his wife obeying his every whim. In fact, deep repentance and counselling are needed, for God to effect a change. Of course, this also applies to men who are abused! Although men are generally stronger, a woman with a baseball bat or even a gun, can do as much damage as any strong man! I do remember one profound comment in the book. It was concerning one woman who was getting beaten daily by her husband, because she did everything right! He said she was "too perfect." Because, any excuse is viable in the eyes of an abuser.

My point! No one should stay in an abusive marriage. Then need to get out, then see if the abuser is willing to change. And then, only reconcile after extensive counselling and/or marriage counselling. Abusers can change with the help of God, but it is something they have to want to do! And they have to work hard to change controlling attitudes and actions.

And, I guess the other question should be asked, is that is a person who abuses their spouse, truly a Christian? Of course, that is between them and God, but, in the case of abuse, the spouse who is being abused needs to ask this hard and fast question, and find out if they need to leave an unbeliever, or seek counselling if that person thinks they can change.

Only if one applies a humanisitic and worldly response to this. Abuse can be on both side, but let's put that aside for the moment. Christians are to be in fellowship with other Christians in churches where the Bible is the ultimate authority in all things. Such churches should also have spiritual leaders.

So if there is an issue within a Christian marriage, what about approaching mature believers or pastors or elders and presenting the issue, so that a biblical and spiritual solution is presented to the couple? There is usually fault on both sides, so both spouses must be willing to face their own sins. and repent and turn away from ungodliness. So why is this not the answer?

Genuine Christians -- by definition -- should repent when confronted with their own sins and failures. And if they are not genuine, they need to hear the Gospel, and then repent and believe, having been informed that hardness of heart or an unrepentant spirit could lead to severe judgment from God. In other words, the fear of God should be put into people who want to divorce just because everything is not "perfect".

Do you ever read posts before you mouth off? I said men get abused, quite clearly in the small bolded line. In the large bolded I write about

In fact, deep repentance and counselling are needed, for God to effect a change.

So, just because you don't agree with my eschatology or Bible version choices or soteriology, doesn't mean you should fail to realize not only do I agree with this, and I said it first. And yes, I didn't mention pastors, I had just done that in another thread, I didn't want to be redundant! My bad! Of course, they need to seek counselling from a pastor. But hopefully a pastor who doesn't throw out the "submissive" card to a woman being abused, instead of presenting the gospel to an unrepentant sinner, and showing the "love your wife as Christ loved the church" card instead. After they are saved, of course.

I'm honestly not sure how to counsel abused men, from a Biblical standpoint, but I know for a fact it is a BIG issue. I was in our local church outreach committee and volunteered to interview the local Abuse Society on how we could help them. We were already giving them free space for their group courses. But her big worry was men being abused, and the difficulty and stigma of that abuse, and how to help them!

Perhaps this whole area of abuse, and how it relates to divorce needs to be addressed from the pulpit more. Hmm, I might talk to my pastor about preaching on this topic, next time I preach!