Hey guys, I am writing this, so I can get all of the prayer support for my healing. I need the Lord to heal me from bi-polar, or what ever mental illness I have. I need healing from him so i can live my life, and work, and live my life for him doing what i can. This makes it hard for me to even go into a room full of people, or even talk to people I need to talk to, because I get too scared to say anything. It effects every single area of my life. Personally, I am also extremely angry at the Lord as well, because I figured if he really cared about my well being, he would have healed me years ago. I suffer daily, and have since i was 13. My performance in life hasn't been up to par in so many areas. this is killing me, and I feel like I have given up all hope. There is little hope for people who live with bi-polar, as the medicines have horrible side effects, causing patients to go off of them anyways. I've taken some, and i will never take any ever again, because the result was even more trauma. If i'm not healed, I am giving up on hope, and giving up on the Lord, because I have tried everything, and it just keeps getting worse and worse. Thus far, I don't trust the Lord, and I don't trust his plan, and I feel like he is the monster who is keeping me from having any sort of real life. Please don't post crap about stuff, trying to give me hope, or trying to get me to view the Lord differently, I don't need to be fixed emotionally. What i need is prayer, and hope that i will be able to live my life, and do things i need to do with my life. I'm serious, NO FREAKING HOPE FLUFF. My condition is already hard enough to bare, let alone having a bunch of people trying to make me feel better, no offense. I just need prayer, and healing from this, so I can be free. I really appreciate all of your support, and help. thanks!!