Letter To God: October 31, 2017

Dear Dad,

Something I'm proud of. Something I never ever though that would make me feel good. Was the amount of effort I have put into you. I have lived my life thinking I'm never good enough and never will be. I've destroyed who I am because I'd rather drown my feelings then disappoint you more. No, I know I'm not a disappointment. I'm already that to my mother and probably my father too. I've always looked to you as my real dad, the one who was always there and still is. Isn't that crazy? I hope it isn't. Now, I want to share some of the things I am proud of. And yes, this may be considered bragging, but for once in my life, I'm going to make a post about my selfishness. And take pride in it. I have no shame about this. And I know you know why I'm doing this.

-I'm 21 now, I've decided to live my life this long and have decided to live my life every day thus far. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts and am still working on that daily. But to this day, I've decided to live.
-I am living my life and am happy.
-I still am on this darn website! I've been tempted to delete it, but I'm glad I haven't. I have met amazing people here, and I've discovered the people here have helped me in my life so much! So much more then people I see in person. P.S. Thank you Micheal, Seth, Addison, CJ, Max, and Nate. I don't know if anyone are here anymore or even snoop on my page, but you all have helped me in so many ways. And I am thankful for the friendship we have continued to build outside of CC. Heck, I talk to some of you on the phone and even have plans to meet in person. You all mean so much to me. And I think I deserve a gold star for being a member for almost 5 years! I'm not that dedicated to anything. Oh, and I have 38, now 39 post. It's taken a long time to reach that, but that makes me so happy. So happy I am able to share my life with other people.
-I'm going to graduate college next spring.
-I'm taking care of myself. For once.

I'm stopping here because I'm not sure what else life will bring me. I hope to engage in this blog more and more. I hope to share my life more and more, and consult with fellow followers of You. Thank you for bringing this to my life. It is something I am proud of. It is something that I find comfort in. Thank you.

Love,
Me. <3

You wrote a great testimony. Yes, it's true that who knows what life will bring but please know that the good work God started in you He is perfectly capable and willing to complete through you the works that your Heavenly Father has prepared for you beforehand. If anything else life is an adventure that's worth living.

Hello Storm_Chaser_Gal.

Know that you are his beautiful precious daughter and the apple of his eye.

I myself contemplated suicide over a period of years and even asked God to take my life.

One day I woke up and thought If I am waking up then there must be a reason.

And this was the reason.

Romans 8:28-30


28 And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29 For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30 Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

God works good in all things in our lives in order to conform us to the image of Jesus.

And as tourist says above he will work through you in order to do the works that our Father has prepared for you.

He has loved you with an everlasting love and this is true HE LOVES YOU AS MUCH AS HE LOVES JESUS.

He is the same today as he was yesterday and tomorrow he will be the same as he is today.

Thank you for sharing your testimony.
Stand tall in the love of our Father and continue to trust in him.