Letters to God- 11.12.13

Dear God,

I seem to have put you off for awhile. I am not sure what to do. I'm lost without you, and know what I need to do to get this relationship straightened out, but something is stopping me. I'm all shades of sad on the inside, and not myself any more. I mean I am me, but not the me I once was and the me I like. I still don't like who I am. I don't even know who I am anymore. I miss reading my bible, I made the excuse sleep is more important. I miss going to church, I made the excuse of babysitting to get more money and am too tired to get up on Sunday's. I miss praying, I made the excuse that you don't want to listen to my voice anymore. I miss feeling so close to you, I made the excuse that I'm not worth it anymore. I've turned into, well, a hypocrite against my own words. I've given encouragement to those we were once in the position I am in now. So...why can't I listen to myself?

I don't know how to fix this or get the encouragement to go and follow through with what I tell myself every night.. "Oh, tomorrow I'll do my devotions. Tomorrow I'll talk to someone about God. Tomorrow I'll make sure I read my bible. Tomorrow this..Tomorrow that... Tomorrow!" And guess what God, I just keep saying tomorrow and I still don't do it. I'm willing to push myself and fix this, but I don't know how. I just don't. I'm crying in my heart now. I'm imagining myself falling at your knees asking for you help me, to forgive me for my behavior, and helping me back on my feet. I admit I'm a sinner and that I have done this far too long. God help! Help me please. I am pushing you away slowly, and I still feel your strings attached to me. What do I do? Who can help me? I know you can, but I'm afraid to let someone know here, in my town, how bad off I really am? This is my plea, Lord please, please, please.....! Help me.

Love, Me.

P.S. I'm sorry.

Why don't we do a devotion right now. That way when tomorrow comes you can say, I need to do my devotion today instead of, start a devotion today. How about I start and then you finish the devotion.

I woke up this morning and it had snowed. Everything was white. When I looked out I was in awe of the beauty, the Lord put in my Spirit that he did that for me, to remind me I'm whiter than snow. It is my Birthday today. It was the best good morning I could have received. Now, I'm not much into birthdays he just wanted me to know he was thinking of me today.

The Lord loves you, too. He hears the cries of his children. What you shared earlier is a cry for the Lord to fill you up again. Start today.

What do you want me to do exactly?

Well, give me a testimony: we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. Could you find him at all today?

you r almost there. r u supported? anything repeated 4-5 times becomes
habit. JUST DO IT.

No, I don't think I did.

I'm not as supported as I should be, but I don't trust many people.

Well, take some time today find a scripture and then post it for me to read. I would love to see what is on your heart today. Maybe just tell me why you chose it. I have one here
for you:
faith without works is dead (James 2:26) my daughter is 14 and she is homeschooled so we just had a discussion on this because she is learning that the Lord expects us to work. That work ethics must be taught. Your turn:

I am working on reading scripture more, but a friend of mine help me discover that I have a lot of unnecessary guilt and I need to get rid of it.