Letters to God ---March 16, 2015

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Nov 26, 2012
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Hey Dad,

Too busy to talk like always? Right.. That's me. Never putting enough time into you, and lately it's starting to get to me. I seem to only run to you in times of despair now. I've grown so cold and independent, I don't search for help anymore. I know why this happened and I darn right now you do too. But what do I do? I push away all the help I could possible get and turn my ears from any advice I'm given. I've gotten caught up in school and work and left you behind.. And now here's the time. It's late at night, and I've done nothing on this Sunday, but sleep and watch anime. I've wanted to cry, you know, tears, physically cry. But nothing will come down upon my cheeks.

I've felt alone. I've felt wanted. I've felt hopeless. And its all really pathetic.

I have you.

…but I'm being the ignorant brat who doesn't want help. Doesn't want to admit she needs help. That she's need help the past 3 years.. And now look at her.

She's faking smiles and making others happy as she wallows in her own pity and misery. She's trapped in a shield she built herself. And now she's asking for something to pound her out of her shell.

I know most people don't like this sort of talk, but I don't care. I am simply showing that this time, at this moment of prayer, I need your help and needs it bad.

I'm so sorry for building up this huge wall all this time. But I'm ready for it to be taken down.

I love you,… really I do.

-Angel.