I have been depressed all my life. I have prayed, gone to counseling and failed 3 times as marriage, all due to my depression. I am tired of living. I hate my life and this world. Yet I know that I don't have the type of struggles that people in 3rd world countries have; I have a college degree and can basically take care of myself alone. Yet I am constantly plagued by thoughts of not being good enuf, not feeling any connection. I have read and read and read books, spoke to priest and pastors, prayed and prayed and prayed. I go to sleep at night begging God over and over to help me deal with my depression so that I don't bother other people. I try to control my thoughts but I constantly feel this nagging despair. I have gone to counselors since I was 18 years old, and now I am 55. I have taken depression medication. The only thing keeping me from killing myself are my children and the fear of hell. Oh God please touch someone our here in cyber world with some wisdom for me as to how I can maintain my pain. I end up driving my husband crazy with my mood swings, and my children are forever asking me is something wrong. I try to hide and cry, I try to go about life as usual but inside I hate every breathing moment of my existence. Oh Please dear God please let the holy spirit move someone on line to help me know how to reach you, what to do to maintain until I can finally die
life long depression
- Thread starter woman63
- Start date
-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
You give depression a lot of power over you, as I see many do because it's normalised, especially in Western culture. But it's more a scientific term of a diagnosis (by scientists not God). And many will say it is this or that, further reinforcing its power.
But what if the real you, has the power to choose whether you are depressed or whether you are not? Imagine this, for a moment, pretend you are not depressed, or pretend that God came and took your depression away, can you imagine it? Is it possible? Then you realise you have control. How often do your emotions change, happy, then sad? All of these are imagined, but happen by default. But you can step outside the box and realise that you are more in control of the emotions than you think you are.
Depression is a very emotional thing. But who you are is far greater than emotions have the power to control.
Depression has no power of you, but it 'feels' like it does, and this is the illusion which self-reinforces.
Think about what it 'stops you doing' and realise that you can do those things. Every time we do something in the right direction, things are changing, atoms are shifting around, chemicals are rebalancing, yet we do not see it. One just has to have faith.
Everything is impossible.
Everything is possible.
Whatever we think, we are right (to ourselves), because we live what we believe.
But what if the real you, has the power to choose whether you are depressed or whether you are not? Imagine this, for a moment, pretend you are not depressed, or pretend that God came and took your depression away, can you imagine it? Is it possible? Then you realise you have control. How often do your emotions change, happy, then sad? All of these are imagined, but happen by default. But you can step outside the box and realise that you are more in control of the emotions than you think you are.
Depression is a very emotional thing. But who you are is far greater than emotions have the power to control.
Depression has no power of you, but it 'feels' like it does, and this is the illusion which self-reinforces.
Think about what it 'stops you doing' and realise that you can do those things. Every time we do something in the right direction, things are changing, atoms are shifting around, chemicals are rebalancing, yet we do not see it. One just has to have faith.
Everything is impossible.
Everything is possible.
Whatever we think, we are right (to ourselves), because we live what we believe.
I've seen many miraculous changes, like someone realises something, and goes through a different door.
You have to remember that Jesus healed the sick. He would say, 'you are healed' and they would be well. He also said the things he can do, we can do also and greater things.
Can you imagine such things? Or that they can happen so quickly, when we shift our perspective, and stay on course with a new perspective? And what keeps us going, is simply 'having faith' rather than thinking about it too much. That's where it all goes wrong, right? Think too much about something, boom.
Think about what you love, or, if deeply in the emotions of depression, think about what you think you remember you loved, personally, something that meant something to you and gave you purpose. eg. Maybe you love/d drawing pictures. Maybe you love/d going somewhere in particular.
I believe God is more present, and we feel the connection more, when we are actively doing something, engaging with that love. All love comes from God, and love expressed is an expression of God, and therefore the connection is not so much looking for it, but simply 'connecting to yourself' more.
If you feel uninspired, then simply practise rather than try to be inspired. Practise loving yourself more, rather than be inspired on 'how' you can love yourself more. Practise expression, rather than trying to be inspired 'how' you can express. They sound the same right? But one is done in faith, the other is done in reason (and can lead to self-defeat).
You have to remember that Jesus healed the sick. He would say, 'you are healed' and they would be well. He also said the things he can do, we can do also and greater things.
Can you imagine such things? Or that they can happen so quickly, when we shift our perspective, and stay on course with a new perspective? And what keeps us going, is simply 'having faith' rather than thinking about it too much. That's where it all goes wrong, right? Think too much about something, boom.
Think about what you love, or, if deeply in the emotions of depression, think about what you think you remember you loved, personally, something that meant something to you and gave you purpose. eg. Maybe you love/d drawing pictures. Maybe you love/d going somewhere in particular.
I believe God is more present, and we feel the connection more, when we are actively doing something, engaging with that love. All love comes from God, and love expressed is an expression of God, and therefore the connection is not so much looking for it, but simply 'connecting to yourself' more.
If you feel uninspired, then simply practise rather than try to be inspired. Practise loving yourself more, rather than be inspired on 'how' you can love yourself more. Practise expression, rather than trying to be inspired 'how' you can express. They sound the same right? But one is done in faith, the other is done in reason (and can lead to self-defeat).
Sometimes one thing that helps me when I start feeling overwhelmed is to stop what I'm doing, and say (out loud if necessary
"Eyebrows Up! ...Big SMILE! ...Breath IN through your nose... and ...OUT through your mouth. Thanks and PRAISE be to GOD!!!" -Imagine all the stress as though it filled your body with water from your shoes to the top of your head...then as you exhale, imagine all of the water and stress draining from from top of your head down to your feet and out of your shoes. And as you exhale, let it push your chest in ALL the way, even with your hand on your chest to emphasize this sinking in of your chest as though you are making room for the spirit of GOD who is LOVE to enter your body! Then when everything is gone and you are FULLY emptied...Imagine a bright light shining down on you as you breath it in: imagining that light FILL you from toe to top! Breath in as MUCH as you can as though you want to fill ENTIRELY with light, and SMILE AS BIG AS POSSIBLE as you do...maybe even try to giggle a little bit as if you farted in the devil's direction. GOD bless you sister! Know that GOD loves you, and a lot of other people do too!
Your brother in Christ,
-Christopher
"Eyebrows Up! ...Big SMILE! ...Breath IN through your nose... and ...OUT through your mouth. Thanks and PRAISE be to GOD!!!" -Imagine all the stress as though it filled your body with water from your shoes to the top of your head...then as you exhale, imagine all of the water and stress draining from from top of your head down to your feet and out of your shoes. And as you exhale, let it push your chest in ALL the way, even with your hand on your chest to emphasize this sinking in of your chest as though you are making room for the spirit of GOD who is LOVE to enter your body! Then when everything is gone and you are FULLY emptied...Imagine a bright light shining down on you as you breath it in: imagining that light FILL you from toe to top! Breath in as MUCH as you can as though you want to fill ENTIRELY with light, and SMILE AS BIG AS POSSIBLE as you do...maybe even try to giggle a little bit as if you farted in the devil's direction. GOD bless you sister! Know that GOD loves you, and a lot of other people do too! Your brother in Christ,
-Christopher
Dear woman,
You are precious to Jesus just as you are, right now, in the midst of your struggles. Sometimes in the struggling to get better we forget how much we're loved. I pray you remember how much God loves you, that you let it sink deeply into your heart and soul. I hope you know you are loved perfectly and completely, that nothing else, no improvement in your situation or great or small thing you do for Him will ever make Him love you more - because He already loves you through and through. Once we're a Christian, it's a done deal! We get His perfect love forever and ever.
At times all we can do is rest and be held by Jesus, and find trusted people to be honest with, and to hold us, too.
(As a side note, I want to make sure you have this number: The suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255. It is free, and people are on-hand 24-7 to talk about whatever you may be going through. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org)
It is OK to rest. It's OK to not be perfect, and it's most certainly OK to be real with Jesus about all of those hurts underneath that depression.
I've dealt with that heaviness myself, and I still do at times. It has helped to share my disappointment, anger, fear, etc. with God. It helps to call friends when I feel that heaviness coming back -- to have and feel connection you have to allow yourself to really be seen by others, to let people in, to be really loved, and do the same for them.
Things that have helped me include taking walks when I feel that cloud coming my way, finding things that make me laugh and reading comforting Bible verses aloud.
It sounds cliche, but truly days are meant to be lived one at a time!
I hope you can be gentle with yourself and sense how lovely you are in God's eyes. ❤️❤️❤️ Rest in Him, dear lady.
“The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.””
**Zephaniah *3:17 *NKJV
http://bible.com/114/zep.3.17.nkjv
You are precious to Jesus just as you are, right now, in the midst of your struggles. Sometimes in the struggling to get better we forget how much we're loved. I pray you remember how much God loves you, that you let it sink deeply into your heart and soul. I hope you know you are loved perfectly and completely, that nothing else, no improvement in your situation or great or small thing you do for Him will ever make Him love you more - because He already loves you through and through. Once we're a Christian, it's a done deal! We get His perfect love forever and ever.
At times all we can do is rest and be held by Jesus, and find trusted people to be honest with, and to hold us, too.
(As a side note, I want to make sure you have this number: The suicide prevention hotline is 1-800-273-8255. It is free, and people are on-hand 24-7 to talk about whatever you may be going through. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org)
It is OK to rest. It's OK to not be perfect, and it's most certainly OK to be real with Jesus about all of those hurts underneath that depression.
I've dealt with that heaviness myself, and I still do at times. It has helped to share my disappointment, anger, fear, etc. with God. It helps to call friends when I feel that heaviness coming back -- to have and feel connection you have to allow yourself to really be seen by others, to let people in, to be really loved, and do the same for them.
Things that have helped me include taking walks when I feel that cloud coming my way, finding things that make me laugh and reading comforting Bible verses aloud.
It sounds cliche, but truly days are meant to be lived one at a time!
I hope you can be gentle with yourself and sense how lovely you are in God's eyes. ❤️❤️❤️ Rest in Him, dear lady.
“The LORD your God in your midst, The Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.””
**Zephaniah *3:17 *NKJV
http://bible.com/114/zep.3.17.nkjv
U
Well, I can see the previous two responses come from people that have never had depression. So their answers are either irrelevant or destructive.
Science had already proven a difference in chemicals in brain function, as well as genetic components but many still think it's a spiritual thing, or something you do to yourself. Such people have no right to comment on something they know so little about. Ignore them.
As someone that's 42 and has dealt with depression since I was 14 I know how you feel.
The true difficulty in depression is knowing that it's a lifetime problem. There is no cure. There are things that can help it, but often times those are not permanent either.
First thing I'd say is ensure you are doing everything you can to help minimize it. While cliche sounding, it's also proven that regular, nighttime sleep patterns, healthier eating habits and exercise improve depression.
I once knew a guy that had some mild depression, suggested these things to him. He took the advice and a few months later he finally found the initiative to join the Air Force. Said he felt better than he had in years. Of course it doesn't work that well for everyone, but it's proof it does work.
Sometimes i think I am not worse off because of my faith. Not that I have some super strong faith, but it's enough to keep me holding on. At times that may ne all we have.
Also keep in mind there is more to who you are than depression. That is only one piece ofthe puzzle that makes up who you are. Try digging in to other parts of you and learning about yourself.
I, like you, have done a lot of reading on the subject. One thing you can utilize is that when you learn things that sound like how you feel, let that be a relief for you. Be reassured by the fact that your feelings and behavior, according to depression, are normal and you aren't the lone weirdo.
These are a few of the things I've picked up over the years that help me. As I've learned these things I've also gotten better in dealing with my depression.
Ask yourself which aspects if your depression make it hardest in you and learn about them.
Anyways, you aren't alone in this struggle. Hope this helps some.
Science had already proven a difference in chemicals in brain function, as well as genetic components but many still think it's a spiritual thing, or something you do to yourself. Such people have no right to comment on something they know so little about. Ignore them.
As someone that's 42 and has dealt with depression since I was 14 I know how you feel.
The true difficulty in depression is knowing that it's a lifetime problem. There is no cure. There are things that can help it, but often times those are not permanent either.
First thing I'd say is ensure you are doing everything you can to help minimize it. While cliche sounding, it's also proven that regular, nighttime sleep patterns, healthier eating habits and exercise improve depression.
I once knew a guy that had some mild depression, suggested these things to him. He took the advice and a few months later he finally found the initiative to join the Air Force. Said he felt better than he had in years. Of course it doesn't work that well for everyone, but it's proof it does work.
Sometimes i think I am not worse off because of my faith. Not that I have some super strong faith, but it's enough to keep me holding on. At times that may ne all we have.
Also keep in mind there is more to who you are than depression. That is only one piece ofthe puzzle that makes up who you are. Try digging in to other parts of you and learning about yourself.
I, like you, have done a lot of reading on the subject. One thing you can utilize is that when you learn things that sound like how you feel, let that be a relief for you. Be reassured by the fact that your feelings and behavior, according to depression, are normal and you aren't the lone weirdo.
These are a few of the things I've picked up over the years that help me. As I've learned these things I've also gotten better in dealing with my depression.
Ask yourself which aspects if your depression make it hardest in you and learn about them.
Anyways, you aren't alone in this struggle. Hope this helps some.
I could give you a long story that I think will make you understand I get it. But I won't. After many drugs (not legal), that G-d delivered me from and a couple husbands, tons of just men, and many, many GREAT jobs that I up and quit, and oh yeah 20 years or so of Salvation. I finally told G-d the Truth; "I know that You should complete me but You don't" and asked Him please complete me. That moment in a grocery store parking lot (because the sadness hit whenever it hit, usually all the time I was alone) G-d SHOWED UP! GUT FOR ME! AND COMPLETED ME! His Word is True if you seek Him you will find Him. And I mean really seek... like in HIs Word, like your life depends on it; and it sounds like it does. There are many ways of escape. None that last. He is the way to FREEDOM!!!!