My worries seem to overwhelm me

[Shannon50]

Just looking for some encouragement; some sense that I am not alone in how I am feeling.

I am a newly divorced- full time working mom with two preschoolers. I was seperated for two years before everything was finalized. I have seen God's hand in every step of this transition for me; but it has taken awhile to understand what it means to be me now.

I am finally beginning to live in my life-- I mean, find some joy in living; creating a new routine that doesn't revolve around worrying if he will bring the kids home after their visit/ getting another correspondence from his lawyer, ect.

The problem is, I think I've replaced those routine thoughts with other worries. I am often overwhelmed at the thought of the future for my boys; what society they will be growing up in, how everything is more complicated now; how I will respond to it in love while not being permissive. And I often feel alone in my Christian outlook-- and as a single parent-- ahhhh, I know it was not meant to be this way. I constantly pray that God will give me wisdom in parenting them (and I pray for their father, that he would come to Christ, that he would teach them how to be men of Faith and Integrity) and I know intellectually that I am not in control.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't want to live in this perpetual state of worrying about things that I can't control. I I want to feel at peace and enjoy the time I have with my boys. And I know how important it is not to "give them a job" and be emotionally dependent on them-- I am very careful not to do this; and only ever speak good things about their daddy (whom they love, and who loves them.) I desire to trust God with all my heart, and all my soul and all my MIND, but I know I am not. Then I feel guilty all over again!

Family and friends have told me they think I "should get back out there." I understand it's their way of telling me that they believe I am worthy of being loved and experiencing the intimacy of a relationship (and part of it may be their way of giving it to my ex, who was unfaithful). I am thankful for them, and part of me thinks about it sometimes; but I know that if I did it would be more about my ego and so not fair to a good man.

If I wasn't so busy all the time, I would think I don't have enough to do! Any words of encouragement/ wisdom/ would be appreciated.

 

[tourist]

One thing is certain in that you are not alone in this type of struggle. It is a horrible thing that your ex-husband was unfaithful t you. The worse thing that you can do in a marriage is to betray the trust of your spouse.

Maybe your family and friends believe that you deserve a chance for happiness. You are absolutely worthy of being loved.

I pray that this site becomes a place of rest and comfort for you.

Welcome to CC.

 

[Sirk]

Unprocessed pain leads to anxiety, anger and depression. They say divorce is worse than the death of a loved one so there is probably much still that you will have to mourn and learn to do differently. All I can say is get good at recognizing your pain and then expressing it in a God honoring way.

 

[1joseph]

Just looking for some encouragement; some sense that I am not alone in how I am feeling.

I am a newly divorced- full time working mom with two preschoolers. I was seperated for two years before everything was finalized. I have seen God's hand in every step of this transition for me; but it has taken awhile to understand what it means to be me now.

I am finally beginning to live in my life-- I mean, find some joy in living; creating a new routine that doesn't revolve around worrying if he will bring the kids home after their visit/ getting another correspondence from his lawyer, ect.

The problem is, I think I've replaced those routine thoughts with other worries. I am often overwhelmed at the thought of the future for my boys; what society they will be growing up in, how everything is more complicated now; how I will respond to it in love while not being permissive. And I often feel alone in my Christian outlook-- and as a single parent-- ahhhh, I know it was not meant to be this way. I constantly pray that God will give me wisdom in parenting them (and I pray for their father, that he would come to Christ, that he would teach them how to be men of Faith and Integrity) and I know intellectually that I am not in control.

I guess what I am saying is that I don't want to live in this perpetual state of worrying about things that I can't control. I I want to feel at peace and enjoy the time I have with my boys. And I know how important it is not to "give them a job" and be emotionally dependent on them-- I am very careful not to do this; and only ever speak good things about their daddy (whom they love, and who loves them.) I desire to trust God with all my heart, and all my soul and all my MIND, but I know I am not. Then I feel guilty all over again!

Family and friends have told me they think I "should get back out there." I understand it's their way of telling me that they believe I am worthy of being loved and experiencing the intimacy of a relationship (and part of it may be their way of giving it to my ex, who was unfaithful). I am thankful for them, and part of me thinks about it sometimes; but I know that if I did it would be more about my ego and so not fair to a good man.

If I wasn't so busy all the time, I would think I don't have enough to do! Any words of encouragement/ wisdom/ would be appreciated.

Hi Shannon50,

I believe you are right where you are supposed to be and have a good handle on your life. You pray for God to give you wisdom in parenting your boys, and He will. No parent is always certain in their parenting decisions. The best we can do is raise them in God's word--a firm foundation--discipline them fairly, love them unconditionally and trust God with the rest.

There is a little book that was sent to my wife and I by an angel (a lady my wife met in WalMart one day) It's called "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's a daily reader (very short readings) and helps get you into His Presence each day, putting your focus on the Lord and His Peace helping you from feeling overwhelmed and worrying. It's awesome. He's awesome!

Keep up the Good fight; your a winner, and God is with you.

(Heavenly Father, Thank you for your blessings. Thank you for getting Shannon50 to this point. I ask that you remove her worries and the feeling of being overwhelmed and give her wisdom in raising her children. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

Peace unto you,
Joseph

 

[Brighthouse]

Sister Shannon,I have never been married,so in this I could never relate to you,however,I can relate to you, on the area of understanding purpose,from trials!( 1Peter 1:3-9!!) quick area's to note here,1. verse 3 to be born again to a LIVING HOPE!!( Rom 15:13)2. verse 5 who ARE PROTECTED by the POWER of God!

Verse 7,even though tested by FIRE!( 2 Peter 4:12-13!) verse 8 and though you have not seen him you LOVE HIM!! To understand verse 9 we must follow verse 8 sis.This was made very personal to me! For Holy Spirit caused a rumbling inside of me to confirm something to me!

"You say you love me Mark,but you have given someone you say you love so little of your time! I told you (Proverbs 3:5-6) You told me,when I have the time? You do now! So now what is your excuse to me??" For dear sister,I have learned the hard way,that the only way Jesus can ever make our path plain and straight,is if we follow trusting in him,with all our heart,and never our feeling!

It is this lesson I believe you are being shown to you right now.And what you do!!!!!! ( john 6:28-29)results in truly what you truly believe now! I give this in love,not as a ding of any kind!! The Lord's will is wrapped up in our thanksgiving to him( 1 thess 5:18) and to get to the place where we can ever be,and ever stay thankful,depends greatly upon who indeed we do love! At age 22,and now 61,I have become ever mindful of the fact that our Jesus is never happy playing 2nd best to anyone,or anything.

There comes a time in each of our life, when truth cannot any longer become blind to us.Even though we wish it were so at times!! LOL We can only have self control( a fruit of the Spirit Gal 5:22-23) if we look to stay led by Holy Spirit control!!( rom 8:14-15) For indeed then we know we are sons or daughters of the Most High!

The end result! ( eph 3:17-19) This sister is very personal! This is talking about God's PERSONAL LOVE for you! For sister it is not by feeling we learn what the breath,and length, and height,and depth,verse 19 we know through our belief of whom we trust in no matter what! ( Daniel 3:16-18!!) God is not mad at you sister!!( Isaiah 54:9-10!!) He just wants you to know just how much, and how wide,and how deep is his very love for you,and to give you,a time to stay thankful to him,and love him back,with his very his same love!! ( 1 john 4:17-19!!) It is now your turn to decide sis.I pray you will decide as I have now,for there is nothing like always KNOWING!!!! rom 15:13 is always alive in us sis!! Blessing to you!( Psalm 27:13!!)

 

[Shannon50]

--Thank-you, Joseph-- would you believe, I just pulled out "Jesus Calling" out of my living room bookshelf-- I think it was my hairdresser who passed it to me sometime over the last year and I had forgotten it was here-- I believe you've truly been God's messenger to me tonight; Thank-you--- relegating it to my nightstand!

 

[Shannon50]

Thanks to all of you for the encouragement and wise words-- instead of worrying right now I have the lyrics to "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and the little book that Joseph mentioned open in front of me. The bookmark was in June 18th.

So I also cry as I read (written as if Jesus is speaking):
YOU ARE MY BELOVED CHILD. I chose you before the foundation of the world, to walk with Me along paths designed uniquely for you. Concentrate oon keeping in step with ME instead of trying to anticipate my plans for you. If you trust that My plans are to prosper you and not to harm you, you can relax and enjoy the present moment. Your hope and your future are rooted in ehaven, where eternal esctasy awaits you. Nothing can rob you of your inheritance of unimaginable riches and well-being. Sometimes I grant you glimpses of your glorious future, to encourage you and spur you on. But you main focus should be staying close to Me. I set the pace in keeping with your needs and My Purposes.

Praise Him.

 

[iveseenworse]

Hi shannon, you are not alone. i pray for you and salvation for the ex as well as your children.

 

[Jeff_56]

you're been pulled a lot of different ways in and by the world / worldly.

jesus has one way. the only way.

seek yahweh(god), always in line with all of HIS WORD ... trust HIM... there are very hard times this year
you will have to go through, if you want to find jesus' way.

if you turn your life over to the father in heaven and honor him, trusting and relying on him,

it will be totally completely and very different than you have thought in the past, but it is his way to life

and he will accomplish your salvation as HIS WORD says (as jesus told his own disciples if they trusted themselves to make it, then they had already failed; if they trusted the father to accomplish all, (in hebrew life, culture, language and scripture and torah - trusting faith believing all were encompassing the whole life actively serving yahweh in every thought, deed, act, purpose and everything in life (not just mental assent which is as nothing) )

 

[Jak795]

I think anybody that has been on this earth for a while will come to realize that life isn't fair and never will be. We won't always get our rightful share and things will be thrown our way that we will have no control over. Just have to roll with the punches and try to survive. But, that doesn't mean we have to face it alone. God is there with us through thick and thin, even if it feels like he isn't sometimes.

 

[Eva1218]

Know it is not a sin to worry and have doubt my advice is that during this time lean on GOD we have a COMFORTER who understands and will Guide you through the rough times be encouraged and look forward to a promising future. GOD has a will and purpose for your boys HE will not fail you.
Blessings!!!!!!!

 

[Jesus4ever]

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Psalm 130:5


Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Philippians 4:6




The Lord is with you and with your children!


God bless you and your family!

 

[ArtsieSteph]

These thoughts are completley understandable with having such responsability as children. But I understand that worry of having your worries take over all your thinking.

I personally suffer from OCD and so for me thoughts are often cyclical and come in waves, and I am also very worry prone despite the fact I have hardly any responsabilties of the big picture kind

But you are not alone. Personally I have to take medication for mine, but you are not alone at all in this.