Just looking for some encouragement; some sense that I am not alone in how I am feeling.
I am a newly divorced- full time working mom with two preschoolers. I was seperated for two years before everything was finalized. I have seen God's hand in every step of this transition for me; but it has taken awhile to understand what it means to be me now.
I am finally beginning to live in my life-- I mean, find some joy in living; creating a new routine that doesn't revolve around worrying if he will bring the kids home after their visit/ getting another correspondence from his lawyer, ect.
The problem is, I think I've replaced those routine thoughts with other worries. I am often overwhelmed at the thought of the future for my boys; what society they will be growing up in, how everything is more complicated now; how I will respond to it in love while not being permissive. And I often feel alone in my Christian outlook-- and as a single parent-- ahhhh, I know it was not meant to be this way. I constantly pray that God will give me wisdom in parenting them (and I pray for their father, that he would come to Christ, that he would teach them how to be men of Faith and Integrity) and I know intellectually that I am not in control.
I guess what I am saying is that I don't want to live in this perpetual state of worrying about things that I can't control. I I want to feel at peace and enjoy the time I have with my boys. And I know how important it is not to "give them a job" and be emotionally dependent on them-- I am very careful not to do this; and only ever speak good things about their daddy (whom they love, and who loves them.) I desire to trust God with all my heart, and all my soul and all my MIND, but I know I am not. Then I feel guilty all over again!
Family and friends have told me they think I "should get back out there." I understand it's their way of telling me that they believe I am worthy of being loved and experiencing the intimacy of a relationship (and part of it may be their way of giving it to my ex, who was unfaithful). I am thankful for them, and part of me thinks about it sometimes; but I know that if I did it would be more about my ego and so not fair to a good man.
If I wasn't so busy all the time, I would think I don't have enough to do! Any words of encouragement/ wisdom/ would be appreciated.
I am a newly divorced- full time working mom with two preschoolers. I was seperated for two years before everything was finalized. I have seen God's hand in every step of this transition for me; but it has taken awhile to understand what it means to be me now.
I am finally beginning to live in my life-- I mean, find some joy in living; creating a new routine that doesn't revolve around worrying if he will bring the kids home after their visit/ getting another correspondence from his lawyer, ect.
The problem is, I think I've replaced those routine thoughts with other worries. I am often overwhelmed at the thought of the future for my boys; what society they will be growing up in, how everything is more complicated now; how I will respond to it in love while not being permissive. And I often feel alone in my Christian outlook-- and as a single parent-- ahhhh, I know it was not meant to be this way. I constantly pray that God will give me wisdom in parenting them (and I pray for their father, that he would come to Christ, that he would teach them how to be men of Faith and Integrity) and I know intellectually that I am not in control.
I guess what I am saying is that I don't want to live in this perpetual state of worrying about things that I can't control. I I want to feel at peace and enjoy the time I have with my boys. And I know how important it is not to "give them a job" and be emotionally dependent on them-- I am very careful not to do this; and only ever speak good things about their daddy (whom they love, and who loves them.) I desire to trust God with all my heart, and all my soul and all my MIND, but I know I am not. Then I feel guilty all over again!
Family and friends have told me they think I "should get back out there." I understand it's their way of telling me that they believe I am worthy of being loved and experiencing the intimacy of a relationship (and part of it may be their way of giving it to my ex, who was unfaithful). I am thankful for them, and part of me thinks about it sometimes; but I know that if I did it would be more about my ego and so not fair to a good man.
If I wasn't so busy all the time, I would think I don't have enough to do! Any words of encouragement/ wisdom/ would be appreciated.