Is being a submissive wife really taboo?

[atwhatcost]

I've gotten the gasp and eye roll from pretty much every person I have this conversation with (Christian or not) when I say I am a submissive wife to my Master (husband). The truth is I have always had a submissive type of personality and spirit. I do my best everyday to submit to God and my Husband.
This means, I wake up and do my daily devotional and pray, I then kiss Master awake and make food while He chooses our clothes for the day. I sometimes will draw Him a shower then clean the house. It is these things, but mostly it is about listening to Him if He tells me no for something I trust that He has my best interest in mind. This is a rare occurrence though. Being a submissive wife to me is also not arguing withMaster if iI don't like something. There are times where He will for instance leave clothes about the house instead of putting them in the basket, instead of arguing I simply ask "I know you work a lot to give me and us a good life and home and you're tired at night but next time can you please put your clothes in the basket?" And He apologizes and picks up His own mess.

It is about trust, love and honesty. I don't understand why some people think that women being this way is somehow wrong.

After I explain what submissive means, people don't roll their eyes at me.

After reading what you think submissive means, I have a headache because I rolled my eyes too hard.

People are getting the creep factor from your version for the obvious reason -- it's creepy. This has nothing to do with trust, love or honesty. If it did, there is no way in the world your hubby would ever let you treat him that way or call him Master.

But, yes, by all means. Play the martyr. Just please stop calling it being submissive in public. This is the kind of stuff that makes Hollywood and Steven King very happy and rich.

 

[mystdancer50]

Before the fall, all was perfect and working well. Both husband and wife worked together equally, shoulder to shoulder, without a hitch.

I'm just letting you know what the Bible says. Genesis says that there wasn't a suitable helper for Adam and so God created Eve, to be his helpmeet. Not to be his doormat. Not to be his servant. But also, quite clearly, not to be his equal. And, after the Fall, we remained his helpmeet.

 

[Rosesrock]

Before the fall, all was perfect and working well. Both husband and wife worked together equally, shoulder to shoulder, without a hitch.

Um, no it wasn't because eve was easily deceived, why? Cause we"re probably more emotional, btw the fall wasn't complete until the man ate of the fruit.
But anyway all that was god's perfect plan just as the family design

 

[Rosesrock]

“Women were created from the rib of man to be beside him, not from his head to top him, nor from his feet to be trampled by him, but from under his arm to be protected by him, near to his heart to be loved by him.”

 

[Jeff_56]

[SUP]9 [/SUP]“Where is Sarah, your wife?” the visitors asked.

“She’s inside the tent,” Abraham replied.
[SUP]10 [/SUP]Then one of them said, “I will return to you about this time next year, and your wife, Sarah, will have a son!”
Sarah was listening to this conversation from the tent. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Abraham and Sarah were both very old by this time, and Sarah was long past the age of having children. [SUP]12 [/SUP]So she laughed silently to herself and said, “How could a worn-out woman like me enjoy such pleasure, especially when my master—my husband—is also so old?” Genesis 18 NLT

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[h=1] Luke 12:32-40New Revised Standard Version (NRSV)
[/h] [SUP]32 [/SUP]“Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. [SUP]33 [/SUP]Sell your possessions, and give alms. Make purses for yourselves that do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. [SUP]34 [/SUP]For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
[h=3]Watchful Slaves[/h][SUP]35 [/SUP]“Be dressed for action and have your lamps lit; [SUP]36 [/SUP]be like those who are waiting for their master to return from the wedding banquet, so that they may open the door for him as soon as he comes and knocks. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
everyone in the little flock (little meaning few, small flock, not many, only a remnant)
is a slave , willingly and full of joy and life and possessing eternal life.

 

[atwhatcost]

Adam and Eve were not equal before the Fall. Adam was made first, Eve was made from the rib of Adam as a helper.

But for Adam[f] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23 The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”

24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25 Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Marriage isn't an Abbot and Costello bit. It's not about "Who's on first?" It's about sticking by each other and loving them more than yourself.

So, the President of Exxon-Mobil is less than the CEO of Exxon-Mobil? Not really. They both have their jobs to do and both do them well. The only difference is the final authority is given to the CEO, not the president. I'm no schmo when it comes to my marriage. Our CEO is God. The President is hubby. I'm the Senior VP. We tend to make the little decisions without asking God's opinion, (because we don't think God needs to give us direct feedback on whether we're buying a new recliner or getting the old one fixed.) And we both make the more important decisions by talking it out and praying. If we can't come up with consensus, which I think happened once in the last 35 years, then hubby gets final vote. And, not a problem with me, because he has to love me, so he's making the decision because he loves me.

I am a helper. That doesn't make me less. That makes me live where I belong.

And, if I need Bible verses to back up my opinion, I'll give my marriage vows as the backup:
Ruth 1:16 ...“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you."

 

[PoetMary]

Okay...here's what makes me nuts. When people who are into certain kinds of BDSM try to "spiritualize" or make religious their predilection.

If this is the lifestyle that you have chosen and you are determined to live it, why do you need our approval? If you know that your lifestyle choices put you in a definite subculture in relation to the larger society, why then do you seek out the approval of that larger society?

This indicates to me one of two things:
1. You really aren't as certain of your decisions as you would imply OR
2. You think that the larger society should conform to your way of thinking.

You made the choice, so live with it. If it cuts you off from connecting with the larger society, then you'll have to adapt to that. Surely there are plenty of people within the BDSM subculture that you could seek out for connection and approval of your life choices.

I've gotten the gasp and eye roll from pretty much every person I have this conversation with (Christian or not) when I say I am a submissive wife to my Master (husband). The truth is I have always had a submissive type of personality and spirit. I do my best everyday to submit to God and my Husband.
This means, I wake up and do my daily devotional and pray, I then kiss Master awake and make food while He chooses our clothes for the day. I sometimes will draw Him a shower then clean the house. It is these things, but mostly it is about listening to Him if He tells me no for something I trust that He has my best interest in mind. This is a rare occurrence though. Being a submissive wife to me is also not arguing withMaster if iI don't like something. There are times where He will for instance leave clothes about the house instead of putting them in the basket, instead of arguing I simply ask "I know you work a lot to give me and us a good life and home and you're tired at night but next time can you please put your clothes in the basket?" And He apologizes and picks up His own mess.

It is about trust, love and honesty. I don't understand why some people think that women being this way is somehow wrong.

 

[atwhatcost]

Before the fall, all was perfect and working well. Both husband and wife worked together equally, shoulder to shoulder, without a hitch.

"Very good." Obviously, not perfect. lol

 

[atwhatcost]

I'm just letting you know what the Bible says. Genesis says that there wasn't a suitable helper for Adam and so God created Eve, to be his helpmeet. Not to be his doormat. Not to be his servant. But also, quite clearly, not to be his equal. And, after the Fall, we remained his helpmeet.

How is that "quite clearly?"

 

[Hungry]

Am I the only one here who read Eph 5:22-23? No, it should not be taboo for the wife to be subject to her husband.....however this only will turn out well if he truly loves you as Christ loves the Church. In fact I think about how fantastic it would be if women actually supported their husbands completely. The husbands just might man up and do something mighty if they felt fit to lead instead of lacking courage because even their own wife doesn't have enough confidence in him that he should be respected. Maybe even his kids would follow suit and admire that sort of man. Perhaps they would seek approval from him striving for similar qualities that they revere. Or we can just beat that woman who finds joy in striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, so we can all go back to castrating the men and boys of today until there is nothing special or sacred about being male anymore.

 

[SirsSubmissiveWife]

Am I the only one here who read Eph 5:22-23? No, it should not be taboo for the wife to be subject to her husband.....however this only will turn out well if he truly loves you as Christ loves the Church. In fact I think about how fantastic it would be if women actually supported their husbands completely. The husbands just might man up and do something mighty if they felt fit to lead instead of lacking courage because even their own wife doesn't have enough confidence in him that he should be respected. Maybe even his kids would follow suit and admire that sort of man. Perhaps they would seek approval from him striving for similar qualities that they revere. Or we can just beat that woman who finds joy in striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, so we can all go back to castrating the men and boys of today until there is nothing special or sacred about being male anymore.

Wow someone who actually understands what I'm trying to say! Thank you Sir for this. All men should have the complete upmost respect, as if they were as important to you as God

 

[Hungry]

Before the fall, all was perfect and working well. Both husband and wife worked together equally, shoulder to shoulder, without a hitch.

Call me crazy but I think to Fall was a pretty big hitch. It was this shoulder to shoulder approach that God tweaked after the Fall.

 

[Tintin]

Am I the only one here who read Eph 5:22-23? No, it should not be taboo for the wife to be subject to her husband.....however this only will turn out well if he truly loves you as Christ loves the Church. In fact I think about how fantastic it would be if women actually supported their husbands completely. The husbands just might man up and do something mighty if they felt fit to lead instead of lacking courage because even their own wife doesn't have enough confidence in him that he should be respected. Maybe even his kids would follow suit and admire that sort of man. Perhaps they would seek approval from him striving for similar qualities that they revere. Or we can just beat that woman who finds joy in striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, so we can all go back to castrating the men and boys of today until there is nothing special or sacred about being male anymore.

I'm with you on society castrating boys and men, but there's a huge difference between what God describes as a healthy, godly marriage and what the OP describes.

 

[Sirk]

Call me crazy but I think to Fall was a pretty big hitch. It was this shoulder to shoulder approach that God tweaked after the Fall.

I like this thought although I don't think God tweaked it as much as Adam and Eve just both decided they knew best... and the power struggle began.

 

[phil38111]

You can only serve one master. So, if your husband is your master, what role does Christ play?

Honestly, this sounds a bit trollish to me. If it isn't, consider the master thing. No man should be your master. Ever. Enough said.

Yes God is the master. And he clearly said in Genesis that Man is to rule over his wife. So if Christ is your master you will obey christ and submit to your husband.

 

[Rosesrock]

Am I the only one here who read Eph 5:22-23? No, it should not be taboo for the wife to be subject to her husband.....however this only will turn out well if he truly loves you as Christ loves the Church. In fact I think about how fantastic it would be if women actually supported their husbands completely. The husbands just might man up and do something mighty if they felt fit to lead instead of lacking courage because even their own wife doesn't have enough confidence in him that he should be respected. Maybe even his kids would follow suit and admire that sort of man. Perhaps they would seek approval from him striving for similar qualities that they revere. Or we can just beat that woman who finds joy in striving to be a Proverbs 31 woman, so we can all go back to castrating the men and boys of today until there is nothing special or sacred about being male anymore.

I agree its a total balance, but im responsible for me even if he doesnt do his job,.....he's to love me and even if he drops the ball, im to honor him..

And raising my son and praying he finds a woman that not just loves him but loves the Lord more.....men will fail.

Im not in love with my husband everyday but im committed to my marriage.

 

[Rosesrock]

Wow someone who actually understands what I'm trying to say! Thank you Sir for this. All men should have the complete upmost respect, as if they were as important to you as God

I think your BDSM lifestyle is being mixed with scripture. By your sig you're submitting to a lot more than spiritual leadership, which honestly isn't biblical

 

[Tintin]

Okay...here's what makes me nuts. When people who are into certain kinds of BDSM try to "spiritualize" or make religious their predilection.

If this is the lifestyle that you have chosen and you are determined to live it, why do you need our approval? If you know that your lifestyle choices put you in a definite subculture in relation to the larger society, why then do you seek out the approval of that larger society?

This indicates to me one of two things:
1. You really aren't as certain of your decisions as you would imply OR
2. You think that the larger society should conform to your way of thinking.

You made the choice, so live with it. If it cuts you off from connecting with the larger society, then you'll have to adapt to that. Surely there are plenty of people within the BDSM subculture that you could seek out for connection and approval of your life choices.

What makes you think she's into BDSM? Granted I know next to zilch about the subculture. I didn't even know such a thing existed until a few years ago!

 

[FancyNancy]

Call me crazy but I think to Fall was a pretty big hitch. It was this shoulder to shoulder approach that God tweaked after the Fall.

In Christ, the "shoulder-to-shoulder" thing is restored.

 

[PoetMary]

What makes you think she's into BDSM? Granted I know next to zilch about the subculture. I didn't even know such a thing existed until a few years ago!

Part of BDSM (specifically the DS bit) refers to Dominance/submission. A couple's engagement with D/s runs on a continuum. So, some couples may involve themselves with it strictly "in the bedroom." For others they make it a 24/7 lifestyle.

There are several reasons that I identified her relationship as BDSM. For example, her calling her husband "master" is total BDSM stuff. Also, the fact that he chooses what she should wear for the day, etc. This is all part of a 24/7 BDSM relationship.

Clearly, the bible doesn't demand that couples establish this kind of a relationship in order to fulfill the recommendations for a biblical marriage. A man being the "head of the household" doesn't mean he makes every decision (nor, in most cases, is it practically possible).

The creation of this kind of relationship demands a lot of specific kind of work on the part of the people involved--work not necessary in a typical marriage. Essentially, it's the creation of a relationship that is rooted in power dynamics. Personally, I have my own feelings about the theological soundness of basing a relationship on power dynamics. I think that the bible encourages Christians to base their relationships on Christ and on being Christlike. This (to me) philosophically conflicts with the approach of BDSM. There are practitioners that identify as Christians and I don't know how they reconcile the biblical verses regarding humility and the "first shall be last" with their lifestyle choices...or if they even bother to examine the underlying philosophies to find any conflict.

However, it IS important that people know that this is NOT a reflection of what the bible demands of husbands and wives. It's possible that it's even a distortion of what the bible demands. While on the surface it uses some similar terms "submissive," "he is the head," "pleasing my husband," the relationship is not rooted in love or Christ, but in power dynamics. The people may love each other, the people may identify as Christians, but the ROOT of their relationship is power.