6 Weeks before the wedding & now this...
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Do you hear what you are telling us? Read what you have written and pretend it is someone asking for your advice on this situation.... Remove yourself from the emotional part and it is your best girlfriend telling you what you have told us....
Feels a little different doesn't it? Wouldn't you be up in arms to try and protect your friend? Of course you would be.... I don't even know you and I feel protective for you.... What in the world are you letting this bully steal your money you have earned. You are not married, you have no obligation to him in a Christian situation assuming he is Christian also you should not be living together and I would leave him in a heart beat as you are heading down a road of heartbreak. He will eventually want you to not see you son very much and if you marry this man he will demand you to comply with his wishes.
His house his rules....that's where this is going.... You make good money and you can live on your own and even take care of your son....personally I would ditch this man and go fight for joint or full custody of my child....Men aren't worth the hassle when they are controlling and manipulating. You may love him but he certainly doesn't love you... Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible and see how close he matches.... NOT.....
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you... You do not want to add this man to your life your family is right... Is loosing your family really worth this stealing, controlling man?
Feels a little different doesn't it? Wouldn't you be up in arms to try and protect your friend? Of course you would be.... I don't even know you and I feel protective for you.... What in the world are you letting this bully steal your money you have earned. You are not married, you have no obligation to him in a Christian situation assuming he is Christian also you should not be living together and I would leave him in a heart beat as you are heading down a road of heartbreak. He will eventually want you to not see you son very much and if you marry this man he will demand you to comply with his wishes.
His house his rules....that's where this is going.... You make good money and you can live on your own and even take care of your son....personally I would ditch this man and go fight for joint or full custody of my child....Men aren't worth the hassle when they are controlling and manipulating. You may love him but he certainly doesn't love you... Read 1 Corinthians chapter 13 in the Bible and see how close he matches.... NOT.....
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you... You do not want to add this man to your life your family is right... Is loosing your family really worth this stealing, controlling man?
C
I don't know what to say. Maybe, I should ask you what is more important this man or your children? You may love this man and I am not here to debate that with you, but you gave birth to your children after carrying them for nine months. I will pray that God opens your eyes and enables you to take a step back to look at the bigger picture.
No man has any right to do what he is doing to you. Why? Because you were bought with a price and God loves you and created you just the way you are and we all know he doesn't make a mistake. No one has any right to question that or make you feel inferior.
No man has any right to do what he is doing to you. Why? Because you were bought with a price and God loves you and created you just the way you are and we all know he doesn't make a mistake. No one has any right to question that or make you feel inferior.
R
There is an easy answer to your problems, and that is to leave him.
It is so much easier said than done, but it has to be done. You cannot spend your life with this man. You are asking for a life of never ending heartache, stress, and pain.
There is absolutely no good reason you can come up with to stay with this man who does not love you.
Actions speak louder than words, and this man clearly does not love you based on his actions towards you. Stop trying to convince yourself that it will work, and that things will get better, because after marriage things only get worse!
Please leave this man, he does not love you.
It is so much easier said than done, but it has to be done. You cannot spend your life with this man. You are asking for a life of never ending heartache, stress, and pain.
There is absolutely no good reason you can come up with to stay with this man who does not love you.
Actions speak louder than words, and this man clearly does not love you based on his actions towards you. Stop trying to convince yourself that it will work, and that things will get better, because after marriage things only get worse!
Please leave this man, he does not love you.
I'm going to reply with first-hand experience as a domestic abuse survivor, because when I was with my ex Carl, he was physically abusive to me. He got mad if I talked to my guy friends. He would say I was probably having sex with them. One of my friends, who also was an ex-bf, was in jail and I would write to him alot. Carl even got mad about that. We fought all the time. It got so out of hand that the only way he would back down and leave me alone, is if I threatened to flush my engagement ring down the toilet. He would actually start crying and beg me not to. Our fights turned physical and he would grab my private parts to inflict pain. One day he flipped out and brought a huge tree branch into the house, and tried to beat me with it. I kicked him out one night, and he cut my screen to get back in so I called the cops. Because of our noisy fights, I received an eviction notice, and when I told Carl I had to move, and that he had to leave, he didn't like that at all. He grabbed me by the throat and choked me. I couldnt breathe or scream, so I grabbed his private part and squeezed, to make him let go..He did, then he left. That's the last time I've spoken to him. He has a history of violence towards women.
I'm one of the lucky ones. It's only by God's grace that I survived being choked. You might not want to hear our advice to leave this guy, but the plain truth is, if you don't, you AND/OR your child will be leaving him in a body bag.. Get out now..
I'm one of the lucky ones. It's only by God's grace that I survived being choked. You might not want to hear our advice to leave this guy, but the plain truth is, if you don't, you AND/OR your child will be leaving him in a body bag.. Get out now..
First things first. You are emotionally married to this man, and have got sucked into his life before you knew him.
He is not managing the money properly and is just using you as a source of funding without explanation.
You just accept his anger and back off, and allow him to put you in a corner. If I was in your position I would have dumped him and realised I got too involved too quickly. If you really want to get married, spend 3 months apart, living separate lives, meeting up socially, and then see how you feel. Too many people get sucked into a relationship out of need but not giving to each other, which is mutually destructive.
To me your whole language etc. is centred on you giving, and not knowing why, and being manipulated and pushed around.
You will know the truth if you make a break, and consider who and what you are separate from him, and then choose the relationship as a good thing you want to continue, not just because it currently exists and you suppose you have to just continue it.
Sorry but that is my advice.
He is not managing the money properly and is just using you as a source of funding without explanation.
You just accept his anger and back off, and allow him to put you in a corner. If I was in your position I would have dumped him and realised I got too involved too quickly. If you really want to get married, spend 3 months apart, living separate lives, meeting up socially, and then see how you feel. Too many people get sucked into a relationship out of need but not giving to each other, which is mutually destructive.
To me your whole language etc. is centred on you giving, and not knowing why, and being manipulated and pushed around.
You will know the truth if you make a break, and consider who and what you are separate from him, and then choose the relationship as a good thing you want to continue, not just because it currently exists and you suppose you have to just continue it.
Sorry but that is my advice.
C
Think about you child. Do you really want him/her growing up in a situation like that? Seeing his mom beaten and abused? I can tell you from experience it will leave scars on him/her. Don't marry him. Get a Restraining Order against him, and get out. It may be a good idea to look into purchasing a handgun for self-protection in case he violates that order and comes after you.
Sorry I didn't reply last night. I am listening. But we fought all night long. I just wanted to get to this morning where he leaves for work and I can get the heck out by myself and stop at the bank.
Last night he demanded to see my bank accounts again. I told him that I had a small inheritance from my aunt and I am not at liberty to disclose this right now. (It was a bluff). He immediately freaked out and said I am hiding money from him and accused me of spending more than I make. Which is NOT true! He told me himself last week that I have not spent 16k (after bills) since my new job. But now that he thinks I have money from my aunt, he blows up. Says I can just use that money to pay my taxes. No! He has taken every cent I earn and used it!
Then he got nasty. Said I like to sit on my "flat as@" and ask for my money etc. He said that I have ruined his relationship w his kids because he chooses to spend time w me instead of them. (Again not true...they don't ever come when invited by me or him).
It's just so sad. But i have to bite the bullet and leave now. He's at work. I can do this. Prayer please..
Last night he demanded to see my bank accounts again. I told him that I had a small inheritance from my aunt and I am not at liberty to disclose this right now. (It was a bluff). He immediately freaked out and said I am hiding money from him and accused me of spending more than I make. Which is NOT true! He told me himself last week that I have not spent 16k (after bills) since my new job. But now that he thinks I have money from my aunt, he blows up. Says I can just use that money to pay my taxes. No! He has taken every cent I earn and used it!
Then he got nasty. Said I like to sit on my "flat as@" and ask for my money etc. He said that I have ruined his relationship w his kids because he chooses to spend time w me instead of them. (Again not true...they don't ever come when invited by me or him).
It's just so sad. But i have to bite the bullet and leave now. He's at work. I can do this. Prayer please..