I just ended my marriage of 13 years

[AngelaO]

Hi Everyone This is my first post on this site.

I ended my marriage of 13 years a couple of days ago. My husband has been cheating on me for almost 2 years. I first found out about it in May 2011, but I loved him so much that I kept giving him more chances. He swore he'd never do it again. But...he did. I caught him 7 times in the past year and a half. Each time I took him back because I didn't want to lose him and we have 2 beautiful little boys together. But, a couple of days ago, when I caught him emailing the same girl from the first time, saying how much he missed her and wanted to be with her, I knew I couldn't do this anymore.

I am completely devastated. 3 years ago, we left our province and moved across the country because of his new career. I left everyone and everything behind. For him. Now, I'm separating from him and will be living alone in this province with our kids.

I have lost the love of my life. I don't know how I'll ever get over this one. I'll just have to keep praying that God will give me the strength to get through it. I trust that He has a bigger, better plan for me, and I know He will get me there.

I just need to get through the pain I'm feeling...

 

[CB55]

He is there with you now and forever. Find comfort in that thought , your Father will never forsake you. Peace be with you.

 

[lavzsmiles]

I'm SO sorry!!! I went through the very same thing with my wife a year and a half ago. After 21 years of marriage I found out about the affairs. I wanted to work through it and seek reconciliation, but she didn't want to. It has been very difficult, but God's grace is sufficient! I am praying for you. Hang in there!

 

[Lucy68]

What a rough thing to go through Angela. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this from your husband . Sounds like you really tried to make the marriage work.

That's great that you're trusting God to see you through

Is it possible to move back to where your family is living? The support would really help.

Do you attend church? Having Christian friends is a great encouragement

Praying for strength, comfort, healing and guidance for you sister as you start a new life for you and your children

 

[damombomb]

May the Lord be your strength and he shine upon your life sister

 

[oracle2world]

Infidelity is the end of a marriage. Harsh as it sounds. So there really was not much else you could do.

Your faith, and love for your children, will see you through. God bless.

 

[nw2u]

God Bless You. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[simplyme_bekah]

I'm so very sorry for the pain you are going through but the good thing about the pain is that it brings Gods healing. One day you are going to be in a place where its okay to just be by yourself with the boys. good for you for leaving. that took guts and courage. you should be proud of yourself for having self worth and respect for yourself. now your boys will have a chance to have a Godly loving man that treats a woman with respect and honor. they do exist mostly in churches. You will rise out of the ashes because you have to. when you do you will be stronger for it. you will come to realize that you only thought he was the love of your life until you meet the real one. Have faith, look for the lessons this is going to teach you and pray. I find in these times God draws so very close to his child and he carries you when you are needing him the most. I know that you will be okay. Seek a Godly man when the time is right and your life will fall into that almost perfect if we lived in a perfect world.

 

[OFM]

bee healed in all ways in Jesus Love Grace Goodness Peace amen.

 

[Mcokha]

Angela, The Lord has a purpose for everything, sometimes he allows us to go through so many things, as Christians we lack the answers as to why, however we will know all this on that day for we hold on the hope that there is a day of Joy when all our tears shall be wiped away I cant wait!... your hubby did wrong and the Bible instructs us in such circumstances to allow divorce, so what you did is ok not only for you but also for the children especially knowing they are boys and you would not want them growing in unhealth circustances as such. Remember this dear Sister, The Heavens are suporting you and tsecondly the bible says that all things work together for good to them that believe and also that he will not allow your way something that you cannot handle!

 

[strawberryfizz]

Know in your heart that as with anything and everything that happens in life, this too shall pass.
God's grace be upon you. May His love be ever so real to you now more than ever.

 

[BADDOG]

Hi AngelaO

Many of us have been where you are now and the key thing to remember is there is life after divorce ,,, and its not the unforgivable sin ,,, out of this whole mess you have 2 wonderful boys ,, i went through a divorce and my 2ed wife died of C we had a wonderful 9 year marrge ,,,, but this isnt about me or what i went through its about YOU ,,,,
a few tips you may wish to think over

try to move back to where you were more than ever now you will need a suport system IE good and old friends ,,, move back if you can will help you heal ,,,, and that very important ,,,places like the CC are great cause you will find out very fast that your not anlone in this ,,,,, there are many wonderful sisters who have gone through what your going through now they are truely great ladys ,,,, and till you get on your feet there only a click of the mouse away !!!
Dont sit and ponder what more could you have done ,,,it will only hurt you more ,,, but try to look ahead plan more you have 2 great kids and that will help you

BADDOG

 

[jb]

'The eternal God is your refuge and dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms...' (AMP) Deut 33v27...

Everlasting Love
Everlasting Grace
Everlasting Protection
Everlasting Provision
Everlasting Comfort
Everlasting Cuddles...

Yahweh Shalom...

 

[Daxx]

Pray that God gives you peace in this time of sorrow. May God bless you, i feel your pain my sister.

 

[Buzygirl7]

I feel your pain,.... 2 years ago my husband cheated on me , I am now left to raise our 5 children . I am only 26 . I never would have givin him 5 babies if I knew I would be divorcing him. To make it worse I fell into a mentle brake down, for 18 months. For the past 6 months I have been pulling myself out of dispare and trying to get my walk with the Lord right again. Stay strong, stay close to Jesus, and don't worry the title wave of pain does subside eventually, the first blow years ago would have been the hardest. I found my peace about it all, but unfortunately the bible is correct about it corsing the wife to commit adultery either in thought or deed , i did and it healed me in so many ways, firstly I could no longer judge my husband harshly any more and could forgive him, and I was able to stop thinking of this women he was with, who I thought of every minute of every day for 13 months she was 10 years older than me, I felt I must have something wrong with me to be thrown with his 5 children away for that. And I know now there is nothing wrong with me or my body I have peace that one day I will find love again, but this time it will be Gods choice who, not mine at age 16 rushing ahead. I will pray and ask the Lord to carry you through this grief, it hurts so much you realise that your sprits where one as the Lord sais the two become one, it is painfull being ripped in half. It is the last days and satin is ripping families apart more than ever before. Stay strong our fight is not against flesh and blood but against principalities of darkness in the spiritual realm.

 

[joshhuntnm]

I was divorced 14 years ago. it is sad, but it will pass. Life does go on. Sorry about your pain.

 

[QuietCaptiveFreed]

Hi Angela, I was just about to wrap up my day and head to bed when I saw your thread and I had to respond. I came forward with my story a few months back and I think You'll find that people here are generally really supportive. I am so so so sorry you know this kind of pain. It is unbearable. After 20 years of investing my life (and giving up my dreams) in my husbands calling to be a pastor and raising our children I came across an email on his phone. Then texting. Then much much more. I was devastated but I thought that maybe after all the years of difficulty and strife in our relationship, God was jolting us to get the help he desperately needed and we were going to be whole. Well, the short version is that didn't happen. Instead he got scared that I would betray everything I know about him (I had been covering for him for years in other areas) so he decided to run a campaign that I was mentally unstable. It was devastating when he tried to convince my father that he had turned to these "other activities" only because he was so weakened trying to cover my "secret". My dad didn't buy it but most of our church did. I lost everything. Even though I do have family (biological) here I am like you in the sense that we moved here just a few years ago and I left my real "family" out east. My friends were my sisters. My church was my family. I was finding my niche and encouraged like never before. My children were happy but my husband wanted to be in a bigger church and quite frankly, we really couldn't survive on what they could pay us. Anyway, I just want you to know you can contact me anytime. I am also very lonely and thanks to my x's schemes I have to share my three children with him week on week off. I know what you are feeling and I am just so sorry. I've got a year of the grief behind me so I can tell you the shock does wear off but some days I just don't know how I am surviving. I will say that you are probably about to enter the love affair of your life with Jesus. He is about to become your everything out of pure desperation if he wasn't already. The weeks I don't have my kids I come home, call them to talk, then get in PJs and spend the next several hours reading scripture and praying because I know I won't survive if I don't. The most helpful thing can think to say is that God saw everything. Regardless of what other people think or say God knows everything. He hasn't forgotten you....not for a second. He is with you right now and offering comfort even though he may not be offering explanation. You deserve to know real love. And you deserve to be with a man who knows how to offer real love. Take Care.

 

[Alicia]

I understand the pain you are going through. My husband cheated on me for more than 5 years we went through the same thing you did, he would say it was over then I'd find out he was still cheating. I had two small children and my family were on the other side of the word so I understand it when you say how alone you feel. We did end up staying together and I can't say it was the right thing. You can't ever get over something like this! You can pray that you will be able to forgive him but you won't trust him again. Once the marriage vows are broken it's hard to get past the dishonesty and that's what it boils down to just plain dishonesty. People who pride themselves that they would never steal because it would be dishonest don't apply this same dishonesty to cheating on a spouse.
God will help you to get through this. Some days I prayed that God would just help me to put one foot in front of the other because I felt paralyzed by my hurt. Take one day at a time don't make any major decisions until you really think things through. Is it possible for you to move back to your family so that you can have some moral support?

 

[Bazman]

Hi Angela,

It is difficult but I agree many people on here are very supportive. My wife left me over 2 years ago. She is with someone else I am not sure if she left me for him but soon after leaving me I found out that she was with him. Anyway, it's a difficult road but I take great positive feeling from this site for the many people who have been through similar situations. Angela you are not alone and I pray that God will bless you and your family and will bring you closer to him.

For me, I have found I have actually got a lot closer to God over these couple of years and learnt stuff from him that I don't know whether I would have previously.

Anyway, God Bless.

 

[Trudes]

I am sorry you are experiencing so much pain. you are in my prayers. our spouse, our family means so much to us and the hurting pain may feel unbearable. I think you should seek Godly counsel during this time. Take one day at a time and talk to Jesus your true friend, husband and companion.