I'm struggling

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matrecky5

Guest
#1
#1
My husband does whatever he wants no matter how I feel about it. He works too much, he drinks too much, and he's barely ever home.... when he is home it's mostly to sleep.
When I ask him to do things with me and our kids he does but he acts uninterested and annoyed the whole time. I go to church alone with three kids every weekend. I do everything for the kids by myself with no help from him. His job is very demanding so he uses that as an excuse mostly to avoiding doing things he doesn't care about. He does however manage to make it to football at the bar with his cousin every single sunday because that's "his time" to relax.
I dont feel loved, supported, or important to him, and I've told him and he makes no attempt to change that feeling....
I have prayed that his path will come back to us. That he'll make the choice to be a better father and husband. I pray for strengthen to be the best mother I can on my own and give my kids everything they need. I pray for guidence and wisedom to know how to talk to him to get him to respond to me.
What else can I do? How can I reach him??
 
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GEORGIE

Guest
#2
#2
if he doesnt go to God bring God to him if reality doesnt hit him hit him with reality. if he doesnt show you love remember that love is sincere things will work out trust god and not the love of a person in trouble or any person at all. first god then your life make yourself better in God find what you seek in God not in the world or people its the truth because it hurts righ,t but you know that the truth shall set you free.
 
mercyswolf

mercyswolf

Banned
#3
Feb 9, 2009
1,743
6
0
38
#3
If I may...if he doesn't want to face reality take it to him. This is a proven fact. Tell him how you feel and how you feel about his choices. Hopefully he'll see the light of it all by this action and will do what is right. Other than that pray for him. Pray in faith and believe that God can change him and lead him to do what's right.
 
freeindeed

freeindeed

Junior Member
#4
Oct 10, 2009
11
0
1
#4
I know were you comming from..it is hard!! It is not that easy it is a big big struggle..... if you are in a need to talk please do drop a line..... PLEASE!!!
 
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Carpe_diem

Guest
#5
#5
God The Father has a way for you and is answering your prayer...
Your void is not for your earthly husband, it's for your first and true husband, CHRIST.

Mat 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Mat 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

There is much that burdens you and by crying-out Abba Father, you can SURRENDER all that you have no power or control over. It's important to ask, what do I need to surrender that I cannot change? There's an entire history at work here, so you need to tell the Father everything that is in your heart...your sorrows, heartaches, old bad decisions, unhealthy relationships, forced afflictions and so on.
None of us have control over others. Can you make hubby think, say or do anything? Nor can he or others you, right? Take the focus away from what he's doing or not doing to what you can do, or are not doing. Spending so much time looking at others, takes away precious time that can be spent seeking the Lord for how we can change our character to be more like His. I assure you, the righteousness of Christ will empower you to hunger and thirst for more of Him and not the nature of man.
There is a battle of your will vs your husbands will but through praying the Father's will be done, you must TRUST HIM to answer your prayer according to His will, way and time.
Love doesn't choose who and when...LOVE just IS! Regardless of everyday circumstances, we still have a responsibility to BE the fruits of the Spirit for us first...we have to BE it before others will BElieve it!

Abiding In The Vine
carpe_diem
 
S

Sunnie82

Guest
#6
#6
I think maybe you should try a different way of approaching your husband. I used to be the type of person who didn't like watching christian movies, I thought that they were so cheesy, and not real. My mother in law gave this movie to me called fireproof. It was really good. It touched me and brought my husband to tears, because he was acting like how you are describing your husband. Before you approach him, try showing him love. if he's sitting down, bring him a beer. Put a pillow behind his head. When he goes out , tell him you love him and you hope that he has a good time (instead of ragging on him). Smile for him. Even if your heart doesn't want to. My husband not only beat me, but had an affair. He had no interest in my life or our children's life. I didn't want to do anything kind for him, after everything that he had done to me. But I knew that he would feel more convicted to change his ways, if I was showing him Christ, then not showing him anything at all. So I stopped complaining. Even when I wanted to cry, I smiled for him, I made him his favourite meals. He eventually came around. The point is, he came around, because I showed him love and kindness, even when I didn't feel that he deserved it. That's how i fought for my marraige. Believe me it's hard.

I often remember a saying that my dad would always say, and still does. " you can catch a lot more flies with a jar of honey, instead of a jar of vinegar"

basically, the words that come off your tongue should be sweet, not sour! LOL!

praying for you!
good luck!
 
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michae

Guest
#7
#7
is your hubby a christian and was he in that condition when you married him..what a ruff road that is to travel and i feel for you, i went thru the same thing...allow the lord to use you and work thru you..also we can use every situation we ever get in to allow our father to work in us his miracle of revealing his son in us..all of life has in it a design to bring an idividual to christ and then as paul put it reveal his son in you..fighting with your hubby is not the answer he will surrender to the holy spirit only, never in the history of mankind has anyone ever changed another person...
 
C

collective

Guest
#8
#8
to cope with what you are going through you may have to think Single Mother mode,it help you to depend on yourself when the dependancy on your husbaqnd has run dry, this a time for you and God as he is the father to the fatherless and a husband to the widows,you are relying on yourself to cope with the pressures of the household and the kids with out crying out dependancy maybe it might get to him that his family is not depending on him anymore this is a time for you and God to get close to him, Let God sort him out, thats how i learnt to cope,
 
Y

yuleicaba

Guest
#9
#9
could you tell your feelings tothe pastor of your church,and share burden to the spirt leaders ?
 
O

oopsies

Guest
#10
#10
Sunnie82 said:
I think maybe you should try a different way of approaching your husband. I used to be the type of person who didn't like watching christian movies, I thought that they were so cheesy, and not real. My mother in law gave this movie to me called fireproof. It was really good. It touched me and brought my husband to tears, because he was acting like how you are describing your husband. Before you approach him, try showing him love. if he's sitting down, bring him a beer. Put a pillow behind his head. When he goes out , tell him you love him and you hope that he has a good time (instead of ragging on him). Smile for him. Even if your heart doesn't want to. My husband not only beat me, but had an affair. He had no interest in my life or our children's life. I didn't want to do anything kind for him, after everything that he had done to me. But I knew that he would feel more convicted to change his ways, if I was showing him Christ, then not showing him anything at all. So I stopped complaining. Even when I wanted to cry, I smiled for him, I made him his favourite meals. He eventually came around. The point is, he came around, because I showed him love and kindness, even when I didn't feel that he deserved it. That's how i fought for my marraige. Believe me it's hard.

I often remember a saying that my dad would always say, and still does. " you can catch a lot more flies with a jar of honey, instead of a jar of vinegar"

basically, the words that come off your tongue should be sweet, not sour! LOL!

praying for you!
good luck!
Click to expand...
I heard about people trying this method and it seems to work every time (with a lot of hard work). I'm very happy for you that it worked out for you as well and pray that it will continue to strengthen over the years! ^.^
 
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