Fallen Out of Love

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meah04

Guest
#1
#1
Hi All,

I just joined in today. Hope to hear a few advise. My husband and i has been seperated (physically) for over a year now.
We had a very chaotic life before, he even tried hanging himself (luckily one of our daughters saw him before it's too late). He was a drug user since i met him in 1993 (i was 17 yrs. then) and we eloped. We were wed when i was 18 because i got pregnant with our 1st child. I was pregnant 3 yrs in a row. I was hoping he would change but he didn't. 2 yrs ago he got to chat with his 2nd degree female cousin whom he had a romance with when he was a teenager and they were constantly talking, cellphone & online. When he left home, that cousin was his companion, she even sleeps at his rented house. She is also married with 3 kids and her husband is working abroad in Canada.

We're in a situation now that i can't really put in. We were not communicating at all for many months and in July we started texting. With him saying that the cousin is now in Canada but eventually is not and he's still talking to her. Now he comes home on some weekends and spends a day or two with us, we have 4 kids.

He still didn't say anything about getting back together, to be a whole family again. He's still aloof sometimes. There are times we don't communicate for a week at all. He gives allowance for our eldest child who's in college but that's all. I provide for my kids alone. We have 3 teens and a 4 yr. old.

I know God would want me to stay put and trust Him while He's fixing us. But should i still keep on texting him even if it seems my husband doesn't care for me at all?

Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom! ^_^

Meah04
 
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overcomer2

Guest
#2
#2
I think your wise in not cutting him off completely. I was raised by a single mom. It can be very hard for the parent with all the responsibility. No one would deny that he is not keeping up his end, but see it as the Lord for every thing your husband sends your way.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#3
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#3
The Bible says that if one spouse is saved and the other is not, that they shouldn't make one leave but if the unsaved spouse wants to leave, they should let them.

I don't know your full story, so I can't give comprehensive marriage advice based on this. I am sorry you've had such a traumatic experience. I would strongly suggest counseling with a pastor and his wife in order to see what God wants you to do in this situation. Godly counsel would be best face to face, especially since there are children involved, though I'm sure you'll receive some sound advice on here as well. :)
 
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meah04

Guest
#4
#4
Thanks. I appreciate your kind words & advise. I do feel peaceful about the thought of being able to trust Him. I know He sees my pain and my kids' as well and He is doing something about it. Godbless! ^_^
 
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eddie1801

Senior Member
#5
Jun 9, 2013
127
1
0
#5
Hello meah04:

Welcome to CC. I am sorry to hear about your situation. However, I believe there are some things that needs clarifications. Is your husband a Christian? Does he attend church? If the answer is yes, then I believe you should ask him to go with you to christian counseling. I sense you may be afraid to confront your husband on his lack of involvement with you and your kids. The bible says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" Ask him to go to counseling with you, if you are really trying to save your marriage. If he does not comply you must acknowledge some hard truths. It takes two individuals to work on a marriage not one.Ask God about this situation, and do not be afraid when he gives you a answer you may not want to hear. God knows whats best for you. Another question is do you attend a bible believing church? Are there people in leadership there that can provide wise godly counsel. If you do not attend such a church..find one. I hope this helps you. God bless you.
 
Jruiz

Jruiz

Senior Member
#6
Dec 13, 2013
565
5
18
#6
You guys never should of separated..marriage is a covenant..so being seperated means what? he gets to sleep around? Doesn't sound like he's very committed if you'll go a week without hearing from him and it sound like you been a single mom this whole time..I would tell him how you feel and tell him about your faith. Ask god to direct you so you don't make the wrong decision..I'm in a similar situation.
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#7
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#7
Iḿ sorry, Meah! That is rough and hurting: "Take your cross..."

I have a catholic friend who is learning a lot from that: Legally divorced but enduring it, because he believes his church does not divorce.

I hope GOD bypass all the hurtful things to overcome it soon. Iḿ divorce and I don't like that trouble.
 
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