I've lived with divorce my whole life,
both my parents and my own. My father was an alcoholic and my family has taken in hurting people for years. I have seen abuse in their lives, I have taken abuse in my marriage, and i have seen abuse in my children's lives from their mother. I believe the Bible is clear on Divorce. God said originally divorce was allowed because of hardness of heart. That is really the core issue of Divorce, hardness of heart. For marriage is a laying down of ones life for another. God is Love and Love is an outward selfless giving act. It's a covenant not a contract. Covenantual marriage is a marriage based on the kind of Love that God is , Unconditional. That means that you came into your marriage covenant saying that YOU will Love them unconditionally. That means you vowed to keep your end of the bargain (covenant) regardless if the other person does. The worlds view of marriage is contractual, which means you keep your part of the contract then I'll keep mine. That is not Biblical. The worlds view of marriage is , what is in it for me? If it doesn't bring me happiness and they don't meet their responsibility to bring me happiness then i move on to someone else. God's view is Marriage is a cherished view of how God loves us and is a life time commitment to the extent that a person is no longer just themselves, they are one flesh with their spouse, a newly created person from the Two individuals. A very serious thing in God's eyes. Marriage isn't about happiness it's about commitment.
That being said, The Bible is clear on the Biblical breaking of the covenant of marriage. The First is, an adopted lifestyle by one's spouse of sexual immorality. The second is, marrying an unbeliever and the unbeliever no longer wants to be married. Those are the ONLY Biblically accepted reasons to break a marriage covenant. God hates divorce. It's not the answer as people think it is.
Marriage is to represent God's Love for his people. Abuse is not an example of that,regardless of what type. You are not to be abused.
No one is. Abuse is in no way Biblical. It has NO place in marriage. That being said, a person in an abusive marriage has the hardest calling. To stay married, love the abuser, hate the sin, Separate, but NOT divorce.
in other words, the Bible states that you are to separate from your abusive spouse, until reconciling is possible and you can have a marriage that would honor God. If that's not possible, you are to stay married, but be separated. Even if that's for years and the rest of your life. You are only free to remarry if your spouse dies, or commits adultery or moves into an illegitimate marriage. God see's marriage that seriously. If you are in a situation where you are married but separated, and there is no reconciliation, God at that point becomes responsible to stand in the gap and be a husband to you ,a father to your children and meet your needs which he does. If you email me back i can give you the Bible passages that show what I've explained. And if your interested some advice on some healthy ways to go about Tough Love. Love that does the right hard thing for the sake of others. Praying for you and your family. A brother in Christ, zander PS. God's will is for your marriaged to be healed and prayers for that are of utmost importance. The Bible states that if we perservere in prayer God hears us. BUT.... that doesn't mean because you have faith in prayer that he will change and that God will impose his will on your husband, God can bring about things to change a person's heart, but he won't force them to. That is an act of the will. Be encouraged, God does work miracles, exspecially if he's a Christian
