Do you believe being gay is a choice?

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Jun 30, 2011
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#41
Very difficult here - Lack of identity given by a father leads to so many venues for sin to take hold
 
R

Richie_2uk

Guest
#42
Like Ugly said, its sin no matter what, However its choice or by Confused emotion that set in at an early age. Either way. It could be a mixture of both. I guess all we can advise you to do, is to keep showing God's love that you have for him and Only he can re-change his mind again that's down to his free will. But Pray for him and pray that the LORD will constantly show his presence throughout his life that God does not like his practices but love him all the same. Only your God given love can change him. but until then? just love him and keep sharing scriptures not to judge not to rebuke not to point the finger, but to stick at least one of God's words in his heart. Because one day it will be that word, that may be the changing lifestyle. God bless
 
M

Matt1626

Guest
#43
I am struggling with the fact that my 16 year old son is gay. Ever since he was VERY young he showed signs of femininity. Over the years, he has been bullied in so many ways but the most common was being called gay, faggot and all the other names you associate with homosexuality. He has been to counseling and finally when he was 14, one night he had a major breakdown. He cornered himself in his room and wouldn't let me come near him. He said he couldn't do it anymore. Finally, I got him to admit that he was gay (not what I wanted to hear, because of the beliefs that I grew up with). But here was my son, tormented with trying to deal with who he was and who he was suppose to be. How do you deal with this as a mother? I love my son unconditionally and I have told him this on numerous occasions. We have a very close relationship but I admit I am very protective. A preacher told me once that you are not born gay but that the devil has influenced the behavior of a person. I don't believe that my son chose this way of life because he fought it so hard for so long. I have no one to talk to about this, I need to know how to lead my son to Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gave me the responsibility to care and nurture His child but I feel I have failed. Please help!!

It may not be a choice to have feelings but it is a choice to act on them andy Warhol said he was gay but died a virgin for his Christian faith. We all have difficult crosses to carry for jesus this is his.
 
M

Marian29

Guest
#44
I am struggling with the fact that my 16 year old son is gay. Ever since he was VERY young he showed signs of femininity. Over the years, he has been bullied in so many ways but the most common was being called gay, faggot and all the other names you associate with homosexuality. He has been to counseling and finally when he was 14, one night he had a major breakdown. He cornered himself in his room and wouldn't let me come near him. He said he couldn't do it anymore. Finally, I got him to admit that he was gay (not what I wanted to hear, because of the beliefs that I grew up with). But here was my son, tormented with trying to deal with who he was and who he was suppose to be. How do you deal with this as a mother? I love my son unconditionally and I have told him this on numerous occasions. We have a very close relationship but I admit I am very protective. A preacher told me once that you are not born gay but that the devil has influenced the behavior of a person. I don't believe that my son chose this way of life because he fought it so hard for so long. I have no one to talk to about this, I need to know how to lead my son to Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gave me the responsibility to care and nurture His child but I feel I have failed. Please help!!
My beloved sister in Christ...
You didn't failed and you won't fail corkeyw4! Because the Lord is with you, and He will win for you, not you with your own and limited human efforts. But you can help, trusting in the Lord, and keeping intercessory regular prayings, they are powerful. Lay down your heart and mind on Christ. Put your beloved son in the Altar, surrend him in the Lord's hands. You seem to be a lovely mother, and we all have limits. Don't worry, no matter how long this battle will take, it is already won by our Father and Lord Jesus Christ. You're in the right way. I, personally, when me or my family are having troubles I do regulary fasting. I'm preparing also to do the first vigil prayer (at least two hours), praying through the night seems to have a special power too, not saying it has no sound disturbing, it's quiet.
The enemy, the devil has much much more experience than myself and you have (cause he has watched humanity for milleniums), he is fighting with all tools he is still permited to fight, and he knows he is in the last our... (I would say the last min, as things in general seems to be going)
We have seen many believers in the Bible, who have his entire family, or even an entire city saved by the faith of one, or for just helping keeping the sons of God in safety)
The Lord is not just watching His sons suffering, with arms crossed. He will act in the right time, maybe you don't understands the motif of His silence, but you'll understand soon.
Can you imagine, when Christ "died", the enemy tought he was victorious, but NO! the Lord ressurrected for the Honor and Glory of our Almighty God concluding what He came here for.
I'll keep you and your family in my prayings,

May our beloved, Real and live God be always with you!
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#45
I am struggling with the fact that my 16 year old son is gay. Ever since he was VERY young he showed signs of femininity. Over the years, he has been bullied in so many ways but the most common was being called gay, faggot and all the other names you associate with homosexuality. He has been to counseling and finally when he was 14, one night he had a major breakdown. He cornered himself in his room and wouldn't let me come near him. He said he couldn't do it anymore. Finally, I got him to admit that he was gay (not what I wanted to hear, because of the beliefs that I grew up with). But here was my son, tormented with trying to deal with who he was and who he was suppose to be. How do you deal with this as a mother? I love my son unconditionally and I have told him this on numerous occasions. We have a very close relationship but I admit I am very protective. A preacher told me once that you are not born gay but that the devil has influenced the behavior of a person. I don't believe that my son chose this way of life because he fought it so hard for so long. I have no one to talk to about this, I need to know how to lead my son to Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gave me the responsibility to care and nurture His child but I feel I have failed. Please help!!

The Bible talks about strong delusions coming in the last days.I really feel this has a lot to do with those who face being gay.They dont feel that they have chosen to be gay.I do not agree a person is born gay.But I feel satan has tricked people into thinking being gay is beyond their control.I see people torn apart,like your son,and I honestly think it is a way for satan to destroy people and put them in bondage for life.It is a skewed self image.My sister suffered anorexia for a time.Her skewed self image tortured her too.So I believe the best thing you could do is claim the blood of Jesus over your son.Have a Christian friend you can trust pray with you.I think your son is being deluded and tortured because ultimately that is satans job.If he can mire us in sin,if he can chain us with self doubt,self hatred his job is done.If he can keep us from having "life more abundantly" and "joy unspeakable" he has done his job.



I dont know if your son was sexually abused when he was younger,you didnt mention if that was so.If you could find a good Christian councilor that could help.But I would be very,very careful who I enlisted to help.I dont agree with being gay but the last thing your son needs right now is an insensitive Christian barging ahead.As one person here said he needs Jesus.He needs his life restored.Then everything else will come into line.He may always struggle with this issue but it doesnt have to tear his life apart.I had a wonderful Christian friend who just passed away.He struggled with alcohol his whole life.At times he fell but he'd get back up again and try again.This may be the same case with your son.Dont be discouraged there is hope.And people are always here for help and to talk to.
 
Dec 19, 2009
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#46
I am struggling with the fact that my 16 year old son is gay. Ever since he was VERY young he showed signs of femininity. Over the years, he has been bullied in so many ways but the most common was being called gay, faggot and all the other names you associate with homosexuality. He has been to counseling and finally when he was 14, one night he had a major breakdown. He cornered himself in his room and wouldn't let me come near him. He said he couldn't do it anymore. Finally, I got him to admit that he was gay (not what I wanted to hear, because of the beliefs that I grew up with). But here was my son, tormented with trying to deal with who he was and who he was suppose to be. How do you deal with this as a mother? I love my son unconditionally and I have told him this on numerous occasions. We have a very close relationship but I admit I am very protective. A preacher told me once that you are not born gay but that the devil has influenced the behavior of a person. I don't believe that my son chose this way of life because he fought it so hard for so long. I have no one to talk to about this, I need to know how to lead my son to Our Lord Jesus Christ. God gave me the responsibility to care and nurture His child but I feel I have failed. Please help!!
Yes, I think all acts of lust are a choice. Lust is a powerful force, but the Lord told us not to look lustfully at people (Matt 5:28), and we should obey. He also said a man should marry a woman, not a man (Mark 10:6-8).
 
Dec 1, 2014
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#47
In connection with this subject, I have a question for you all. Please keep carefully about and what Bible quote might be helpful. My question:
Do you think that a transsexual person has chosen to be a transsexual?
For that is exactly the way the question of whether someone has chosen to be gay. What can happen if no one is willing to accept unpleasant truths (ie that there is no choice), you can see in this video:

[video=youtube;1df_i26wh-w]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1df_i26wh-w[/video]
 
C

ChristIsGod

Guest
#48
Well, this video is a prime example of how not to deal with this with any loved one.

There's multiple reasons that so many men are having problems with sexual identity disorder - as it was called.

First we could do a search on "Margaret Sanger - homosexuality".

Secondly we could do a search on "bpa - estrogen".

Then there's the factor of how someone is raised.

Then there's the media and entertainment industry.

Then there the school's sex-ed classes for the last 30 yrs or more.

And Romans 1

But, unless a person is born with both organs - it's a choice but no one should ever call themselves a Christian and do what this woman did in this video. Cussing, attacking and screaming is demonic. That's when emotions have gone over the line into demonic and counterfeit Christianity.

When you truly love someone - whether it be a child or a husband and you've given so much of your life for them - yes indeed - emotions will be there - but when it gets to cussing, screaming and physical violence, than the so-called Christian has entered into the actions of another spirit. From what this video is presenting - this woman was more concerned with the women in her church or something similar and not about her son as much as how he 'disgraced' her and his father. But if she had stayed calm and truly loved her son as she claimed to - I believe that at the age that her son was, they would not be wrong to have him go live on his own and that would be the case if he was commiting adultery with his neighbors wife, or was a thief, or a reckless drunk -- all of those things listed together in 1Corth 6:9,10. Anyone age 18 and over can support themselves. We have to remember what Paul wrote in Chpt 5:2 and what he meant by what he wrote after that.

Once a person hits the age of accountability - which varies which each child - the Word says that even the Gentiles without the law, follow it and some don't - because He has put into every human being a God given conscience.
Rom 2:14-16 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another, in the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.

Why would a merciful God condemn someone that was born that way? I think if we do the research just on what's happened to our society from those that have the power to steer it whichever way they choose and have the resources to do such - we'll see in that search on Margaret Sanger a lot has happened that's been directed at this generation with eugenics, etc..

A person that's been lied to by these so-called 'sciences' don't realize the agenda behind this "science so-called" as Paul called it. There's a no-growth-population reduction plan that's been around longer than I've been on earth and pushing this agenda is a means to their no-growth/population control agenda.

If a person has already had the operation, they do not have to remain the opposite sex than what they were born as.
Some men are born with a bit more estrogen and/or low testosterone, but they normally have larger breasts than most men - but that doesn't mean that they were born with no choice. It's the male or female organ that one is born with that determines the gender of a baby and adult.

This is a potentially volatile topic but we're being asked from a Biblical point of view, what His Word says about it. If someone didn't want to know what the Bible says - they should never come to a Christian forum. Christians will love even an enemy nonetheless and unsaved person of any persuasion - but their duty is to The Word of God and can't compromise what His Word says, just because someone doesn't understand His Word or doesn't want to.

For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever is continuously believing in Him, will not perish [be seperated from Him] but will have Eternal life [with Him] - and that means what it says - His Salvation is open to anyone that comes to Him for forgiveness and to be transformed into His image and the image that He created each person to be, individually called.

Romans 2 is not the only place in the New Testament that mentions our God given conscience, but Romans 1 explains what one does with that God given conscience.

If any of us have given God's Word on this thread - we should not feel ashamed of Him Who is The Word of God.
He has made Himself known to "every man/woman" according to His Word - and we are without excuse if we turn against Him and what conscience has told us at some point in our lives. Such as - marrying and having children yet holding onto something against conscience and leaving them which is against conscience. That's what the Word of God does say.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.
Eph 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

God says that these laws are a part of every person's God given conscience - but we choose to callous our consciences when we go against that instant when we feel our "conscience bothering us". When we look into the faces of those that love us or that we should love and turn around and walk away or cause them to walk away.

Live a-sexual if you've gone away from God's Word and care about it and He also speaks against a man wearing women's cloths. What can we do - we can't change His Words and still desire to follow Him because we love Him.

Picture Jesus on that cross, if you will. His flesh was torn off of His back down to the bone. His beard was plucked out and he was struck with rods about the head and face so that His face was swollen and bleeding and from the crown of thorns that they also struck with rods and you can picture the rest - if you can.
That was the price He paid for the sins of the world. But the worst of His suffering was 3 hours of taking on Himself the sins of every human being that ever lived or will live until He returns. The perfect lamb of God took every filthy, horrendous act that mankind has ever done from the beginning of time until the end upon Himself and if we can't imagine the agony that the Holy One felt under that darkness, then we haven't even an ounce of imagination of the horror of those hours on that cross.

We, like it or not, will all face Eternity one place or another. God has been very generous with us, in that He took every heinous and hellish crime upon Himself that day so that whosoever will can come to Him for forgiveness - turn their lives over to Him - and He left His Word for us for comfort, direction, help and because it's "Living", it can work the miracles that psychiatry could never work.

We have a choice -- and if it weren't choice, then God could be condemned as being unjust - which we know instinctively, if nothing else - that He is not.

Read the Word as much as one can while we're still alive and there's hope for all.

Pray for one another and for any of His lost Sheep to come home to Him.

And Never be ashamed of His Words.
 
Aug 11, 2014
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#49
I think being gay is a result of two things 1. Genetics 2. Environment

I think if you have gay genetics in you, and you have sexual experiences as a child, you're more likely to be gay in the future.

Although those two things are natural, It doesn't mean it's right. The bible says being gay is a sin:
[h=1]1 Corinthians 6:9-11[/h]
[SUP]9 [/SUP]Don’t you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don’t fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, [SUP]10 [/SUP]or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people—none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. [SUP]11 [/SUP]Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

When I first turned to my faith, I claimed that I didn't agree with God on this issue, because there was no empirical evidence as to why it was wrong. But I was very wrong in my disagreement. God created us, so he must know what is best for us? Right?

But no, it's not a choice, rather a blessing I think. Your son now has the opportunity to fight day-to-day evil temptations in the lord's name.

Just remember not to judge, or persecute him. :)

You haven't failed in anyway, this was meant to be.

Only you can encourage, and only he can turn to God.

God bless you.
 
Mar 21, 2011
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#50
Americans Christians have made 'Gay' issues a political issue. The reason for this is, large business concerns, got together with the Republicans and Wealthy Church leaders in order to create a voting bloc to help control the white-house. They did it in the late 1970s and early eighties with the creation of the moral majority.

They've influenced culture so much, that today they get Christians to focus on Gays and abortion.

Why did they do this? See, the first part. Earthly power. They could care less about Christianity, other than to gain control of the Christian voting power.

So things like today where the CIA torture report was released. George W Bush comes out of retirement to praise torture today.

They make you all focus on Gays and abortion so that they can perform a magic trick. So that the devil can run loose. What's worse is they do it your name and claim their activities are 'Christian'.

It's like you guys, have stopped worshiping the man that was tortured and killed for our sins, and you are now giving all your power and mind to the guys torturing him.

It's 2014, and the President of choice for the party, that many Christians here say is the only choice, is praising torture and calling torture Christian.

That is why we are talking about gays, because THEY DON'T WANT YOU FOCUSING ON WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN YOUR NAME!
 
Dec 1, 2014
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#51
@ Risetobesetfree
Interesting that you mention just the first letter to the Corinthians by Paul. Paul used two words that are often seen as passive and active homosexualitäöt, Martin Luther but really as "catamite" (Malokoi) and "abusers" (Arsenokoites) was translated. So it was in these verses not about homosexuality, but pederasts.
 
Dec 1, 2014
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#52
Americans Christians have made 'Gay' issues a political issue. The reason for this is, large business concerns, got together with the Republicans and Wealthy Church leaders in order to create a voting bloc to help control the white-house. They did it in the late 1970s and early eighties with the creation of the moral majority.

They've influenced culture so much, that today they get Christians to focus on Gays and abortion.

Why did they do this? See, the first part. Earthly power. They could care less about Christianity, other than to gain control of the Christian voting power.

So things like today where the CIA torture report was released. George W Bush comes out of retirement to praise torture today.

They make you all focus on Gays and abortion so that they can perform a magic trick. So that the devil can run loose. What's worse is they do it your name and claim their activities are 'Christian'.

It's like you guys, have stopped worshiping the man that was tortured and killed for our sins, and you are now giving all your power and mind to the guys torturing him.

It's 2014, and the President of choice for the party, that many Christians here say is the only choice, is praising torture and calling torture Christian.

That is why we are talking about gays, because THEY DON'T WANT YOU FOCUSING ON WHAT THEY ARE DOING IN YOUR NAME!
I agree with you 200%!
 
D

didymos

Guest
#53
... For that is exactly the way the question of whether someone has chosen to be gay. What can happen if no one is willing to accept unpleasant truths (ie that there is no choice), you can see in this video:

[video=youtube;1df_i26wh-w]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1df_i26wh-w[/video]
You can love and support your kids and still not agree with the choices they make. You have every right to do so. The gay son in this vid however decided to make an issue out of it (the drama queen he is), and only THEN the situation escaslated. On top of that he decided to film the whole argument and post it on Youtube, shaming the trust his parents had in him. In don't have children of my own, but I sure as he** wouldn't disown a kid out for being gay. I WOULD however consider throwing him out for betraying my trust in him. (Ex. 20:12)
 
Dec 1, 2014
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#54
You can love and support your kids and still not agree with the choices they make. You have every right to do so. The gay son in this vid however decided to make an issue out of it (the drama queen he is), and only THEN the situation escaslated. On top of that he decided to film the whole argument and post it on Youtube, shaming the trust his parents had in him. In don't have children of my own, but I sure as he** wouldn't disown a kid out for being gay. I WOULD however consider throwing him out for betraying my trust in him. (Ex. 20:12)
And I thought the Dutch would be tolerant. What a mistake!
First of all: This young gay man is not a "drama queen" (that's the name by the way of my software to the screen writing). He fought for the love and acceptance of his parents. He was very calm, as she threw him out. Only when his grandmother and his father were aggressive, the situation escalated. He said there is no choice, the other that it would be a choice. Science gives the young man right.
 
Dec 8, 2014
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#56
Do I believe being gay is a choice? Absolutely. Given that God spoke against homosexuality, I'm sure people aren't born that way.
 
Aug 11, 2014
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#59
In Genesis it explains how God acknowledges the evil that grows in our hearts at a young age.

We are born with sin engrained in us because he has made us that way.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to not sin.

Don't disregard Science. Science helps prove God, Archeology helps prove the validity of the bible, but Science also proves the statement I made previously.

People who have a sexual attraction to the same gender do not have a choice in their attraction.

Do they have a choice to pray about it? Yes.
Do they have a choice to not commit homosexual acts? Yes.
Do they have a choice in who they are attracted to? No.

And to that video before this post:

The gospel preaches love as a method of conversion, not persecution.

Option A) Beating a gay man with a rock until he says he's a Christian.

Result) Negative.

Option B) Showing acts of love to a gay man until he asks me questions about my faith, and decides that it's time to make the personal choice to repent.

Result) Positive.

The people in that video have failed as parents. And to respond to what didymos said:

You have to imagine the situation from his perspective. He is brainwashed from leftist-propaganda, so naturally his response will be fighting for something he believes to not be wrong.

And from my perspective, their actions were abusive. We don't live in times where your child's life is your own. He is your responsibility up to an age, but it ends eventually. Those people needed to be exposed, and I don't think anyone should stay in the closet with the physical, emotional, or sexual abuse they receive.

To the OP of the thread:

I apologize on behalf of the community. This thing turned into a big debate. Science proves that having a natural attraction to the same sex isn't a choice, but I'm telling you that it is a choice to resist temptation. Just show your son love, don't stop loving him, or he'll grow to resent the faith that he needs to be saved.
 

presidente

Senior Member
May 29, 2013
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#60
@ Risetobesetfree
Interesting that you mention just the first letter to the Corinthians by Paul. Paul used two words that are often seen as passive and active homosexualitäöt, Martin Luther but really as "catamite" (Malokoi) and "abusers" (Arsenokoites) was translated. So it was in these verses not about homosexuality, but pederasts.
One belief is that the word arsenokoite was taken from Leviticus 20:13, which contains ἄρσενος κοίτην, arsenos koiten, which may be where the word was put together to mean 'arsenokoite.' Whatever the case, Paul's letter to Timothy that mentions the word makes it clear that such activity was forbidden by the Law.

In Acts 15, the apostles and elders met to consider the question of whether Gentiles were to be commanded to be circumcised and obey the law of Moses. A generation or so later, non-Christian Jews would consider the issue of whether Gentiles could be righteous without converting to Judaism. Judaism pointed to the covenant with Noah. Gentiles already had a covenant. Their opinions are similar to Acts 15. The idea is that the covenant with Noah and other passage is in the Old Testament show what God requires of Gentiles. Like Christians, non-Christian Jews saw that the Torah forbade Gentiles from engaging in fornication. One relevant passage is Leviticus 18, which shows that Gentiles were driven out of the land for a number of sins, including men laying with men as one does with a woman. Arsenos must not koiten with other men, and Paul says that arsenokoite will not in inherit the kingdom of God, but tells the Corinthians they used to do that and other sins, but were now washed, sanctified, and justified. (See I Cor. 6.)

Romans 1 uses the term 'vile lusts' to describe homosexual desires, and describes the acts as shameful and against nature. If someone has the desire to do something wrong, that doesn't mean it's right to do it, because he has the lust. The Bible says to make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts thereof. One who struggles with lusts needs to learn not to give them any place in his life and to yield his body to the Lord.