Accountability

[Jordache]

I have met someone very special. In attempt to be held to the highest accountability, I am asking for others to ask me questions so that I can make sure there aren't things I haven't considered. The situation is a little odd, but I've honestly never felt like this about anyone, not has he experienced this. So young, old, men, women, married, single... Question away. Here's the background.

He is a strong Christian and has been for over 30 yrs. He was married for 10 yrs and divorced 10 yrs ago. Since then he has not really dated. He's had 1 serious gf in 10 yrs. He has two kids whom I know and are very comfortable with me. He loves and adores his family and has the utmost respect for his parents. He wants more kids. He is quite perceptive. We share similar love languages. We communicate pretty well. We think the same on many levels... How to raise kids, what we like to do for fun, likes and dislikes, what we desire in a partner, etc. He is quite a bit older than I am, but very fit and active. I on the other hand have much more life experience under my belt and this act and think on a different level than my peers. This man wants to build me up, pray for me, give me the world, honor me, and values me. I believe he is fallible but a very honorable hardworking man. He has worked the same job for 26 yrs. His children are brilliant and successful. He prays for me and is very understanding. He would give me the shirt off his back. He is respectful and lord The Lord.

 

[BananaPie]

...sounds like somehow your equation accountability is missing a sparkling diamond... whatchamacallit.

 

[Fenner]

He sounds like a person with good values. Congratulations!

 

[homwardbound]

What does your heart say and what does his heart say
You know if you know
I have been with my wife for 30 years now, we met and knew we married two weeks after meeting we both just knew.

But lets look at reality, it has not been a bundle of roses and no relationship is between couples
So are you willing through poor, through homelessness, through famine, in sickness. I point out all the negetives because negetivity is rampant and real. The ? is how do we deal with it?
John 16:33I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
This is truth no matter waht descicions yuo make or have made. It is abut trusting God in the midst of all troubles this world brings.
So will this person be your object of Faith? Or is God your object of Faith? I understand the need to not want to be alone here on earth, yet will this cause it to be worse?
If you are cvertain and sure from your heart go for it, just be willing to accept the bad along with the good things that comefrom this joining together
I will leave you with this unrealistic expectations are killers to the souls of people? No one knows thier future of waht will even be tomorrow. And if one has any expectation of waht tomorrow might bring ad becomes dependant on that then they have set themselves up for depression over an expectation
Just wahtever you do make plans go ahead but refrain from expectations because anything can happenat any moment to change the plans and as long as you are prepared for this you will be just fine

 

[BarlyGurl]

Jordache... you have mentioned being a "leader" at your church and that you DO belong to a congregation. It seems to me that the appropriate venue for requesting accountability is with those people who have the benefit of personally KNOWING both parties... being able to personally observe and monitor your interactions and therefore draw an accurate analysis.... as opposed to an internet chat site where you control the information presented as well as whether you heed any instruction given. REAL courtship accountabilitity is in your congregation.

 

[KJVBIBLECATOWNER]

EXODUS chapter 20 verse 14 and 17. - MATTHEW chapter 19 verses 4 to 9. In your King James Bible, naturally.

 

[Jordache]

Barly we are both under accountability at our church.

 

[Joygirl108]

How do your parents feel about your relationship with him?

 

[Jordache]

Well first I'm 28 yrs old so my parents don't really dictate things for me... That and they are not Christians. My dad is dead and my mom only cares that I'm happy. My spiritual parents (the many that there are) run the gamut from being nervous to being happy. They think he's a good man.

 

[kenisyes]

Can he accept your ministry? I don't mean the one you have now, I mean the one God is going to give you ten years from now?

 

[AAAPlus]

Here's a question:

Have you made a vow (even to yourself) to stay single for a certain amount of time? And if so, are you still within that "singleness" time frame?

 

[Nautilus]

Well congrats for finding someone jordache. He seems like a good guy. Im not huge on age ifferences but if it works for you then who is to say otherwise. And I admit I lol'ed a bit at if you had parental permission, especially at our ages.

 

[tarrance10]

just how i need u,how do u feel u don't have a family and no one to call a family living on a refugee camp need someone to help me and GOD say u cause u the first i have meet here i am new here ok awate ur replay o god bless u.

 

[tarrance10]

hi i am tarrance great ok keep it up here is my mail so we can chat better ok [email protected]

 

[my_adonai_]

I have met someone very special. In attempt to be held to the highest accountability, I am asking for others to ask me questions so that I can make sure there aren't things I haven't considered. The situation is a little odd, but I've honestly never felt like this about anyone, not has he experienced this. So young, old, men, women, married, single... Question away. Here's the background.

He is a strong Christian and has been for over 30 yrs. He was married for 10 yrs and divorced 10 yrs ago. Since then he has not really dated. He's had 1 serious gf in 10 yrs. He has two kids whom I know and are very comfortable with me. He loves and adores his family and has the utmost respect for his parents. He wants more kids. He is quite perceptive. We share similar love languages. We communicate pretty well. We think the same on many levels... How to raise kids, what we like to do for fun, likes and dislikes, what we desire in a partner, etc. He is quite a bit older than I am, but very fit and active. I on the other hand have much more life experience under my belt and this act and think on a different level than my peers. This man wants to build me up, pray for me, give me the world, honor me, and values me. I believe he is fallible but a very honorable hardworking man. He has worked the same job for 26 yrs. His children are brilliant and successful. He prays for me and is very understanding. He would give me the shirt off his back. He is respectful and lord The Lord.

I had sought GOD about this, on how i would know. so He gave me a dream,
I was in the Spirit, going through a path, and i reached in an open ground where there where many people around walking, it was indeed a busy place and they could notice me. and from a far i saw a lady i used to minister with at a high school in the fellowships we had. and only she saw me, how do i know, i went to her and HUGGED her and i felt something in my heart, am sure it was not lust because i have been an agent of lust in the past for a LONG time and i know how it feels to be IN LUST with someone, so i would say that was LOVE. . an awesome liberating Feeling, no guilt, nothing evil.

So seek the most High on this one, day and night. and i can see He indeed has impressed you . but been impressed by someone should not cloud the choice that GOD has for you now neh? i believe there are many GOD fearing ladies out there, passionate about the most High, diligent in their walk with HIM, but as for me i would wait for the LORD. and make sure THAT HE AGREES regardless of how i feel.

if i flip the coin not to bash him or anything, but i have heard of a testimony, a boy working in a believers house, he was very obedient, very humble, showing all the best characters in the outside. heard testimonies of agents of darkness in the church, being the first in prayer meetings, and doing their best to be approved. but it does not cloud the fact that they are in the dark.

so ey, Seek the LORD with a pure heart on this one (meaning put aside every feeling or thought you might have for him). waiting patiently and testing EVERY ANSWER that comes to you, if our closest friends can hurt us. we should be careful on those we meet and talk to. and especially those we share the personal details with.

and biblically the LORD tells us that if we divorce and marry another woman, we commit adultery. remembering the scene of the woman of Samaria, that had 1 husband and 4 men she committed adultery with.

God bless you much.

 

[Jordache]

Thank you all for your insight. We are both divorced on biblical grounds, so adultery isn't an issue. As per ministry, I believe he would be supportive with any ministry I had unless my priorities were out of whack. He would really like more children, as would I. And to choose my ministry over my children or my marriage would be the only thing he had an issue with. He's a very independent man which could make things difficult because as he has admitted himself, he will have to learn to be married again.
As for singleness, I had pondered the idea of singleness for a time, but had not made a final decision because I'm very good at giving myself lofty human goals to achieve in order to give myself some sense of accomplishment. I really didn't want to do tht this time, and I didn't feel the Lord give me a specific time frame for singleness. My ex-husband left almost 2 years ago. He's been divorced for 10 years.

 

[Jordache]

On the advice of my counselor, and Franks suggestion, we are not seeing each other for the next 10 days in order to seek The Lord.

 

[mybrother]

I am not understanding some people saying their are Christians But they are saying lie to Every one Because they dont Have Christian Life, they not Reading BIBLE, they are not Understanding the Word of God, Due to that what they are doing they are saying we are doing Right, without God Permission they Creating one situation and they are saying this is God's will that s way we did this, I want to say one thing for these kind of people ( friends ) Check the BIBLE what the Word of God say. and think your thoughts and BIBLE words get combination if its not Match dont do that stop at the same time then you will Save By God,

Jesus Loves You Write Mail to me for Prayer Request : [email protected]
Friend in Christ Call to me :+91-9000416000
Bro.Isaac.N

 

[TheAristocat]

I have met someone very special. In attempt to be held to the highest accountability, I am asking for others to ask me questions so that I can make sure there aren't things I haven't considered. The situation is a little odd, but I've honestly never felt like this about anyone, not has he experienced this. So young, old, men, women, married, single... Question away. Here's the background.

He is a strong Christian and has been for over 30 yrs. He was married for 10 yrs and divorced 10 yrs ago. Since then he has not really dated. He's had 1 serious gf in 10 yrs. He has two kids whom I know and are very comfortable with me. He loves and adores his family and has the utmost respect for his parents. He wants more kids. He is quite perceptive. We share similar love languages. We communicate pretty well. We think the same on many levels... How to raise kids, what we like to do for fun, likes and dislikes, what we desire in a partner, etc. He is quite a bit older than I am, but very fit and active. I on the other hand have much more life experience under my belt and this act and think on a different level than my peers. This man wants to build me up, pray for me, give me the world, honor me, and values me. I believe he is fallible but a very honorable hardworking man. He has worked the same job for 26 yrs. His children are brilliant and successful. He prays for me and is very understanding. He would give me the shirt off his back. He is respectful and lord The Lord.

Maybe not a question but just some words of caution for you to consider that may or may not apply to the particulars of your situation:

1. The marriage contract ends only with the death of one of the spouses (people will argue against and for this till they're blue in the face, and I'm fairly sure I know what they're going to say).
2. We're to love God more than people. This covers loving God more than feeling sorry for people.
3. Your heart may be in the right place when you marry a divorced individual, but you will never be able to take that decision back. And one of you may change your views on #1 later in life.
4. Some of our decisions are heroic, but sometimes that heroism is also misguided.
5. I wouldn't touch a divorced individual with a 10-foot pole even if they told me they were going to commit suicide out of despair or if they were holding a gun to my head.
6. My dad has been divorced and single for close to 30 years, and he doesn't want to be.

 

[mybrother]

Hello the A cat I like your comment yes it is true (The marriage contract ends only with the Death , some people they don't knew the value of Marriage , now a days this king of Divorced style Entered in to my Country too (India ) Due to that spoiling Beautiful family life,