Adultery Pastor?

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stevekross

Guest
#1
#1
I saw the pastor of my congregation about to commit adultery and when he saw me, I could help it. What I can do?

Sorry for my English
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#2
Apr 18, 2013
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#2
Stevekross,

I think you're about to experience a lot of very serious problems.

The pastor is obviously not a good or sincere man.
He probably now feels like he "must" discredit YOU in some way, to protect himself.

You will need to tell some people about this, and you will probably need to find a new church.
I would recommend you first tell your family, so you'll have some people who believe you, and trust you.
Then you'll need to talk to the elders of the church.

However, don't expect that to go well.
The pastor will probably deny what happened, and say you are lying, and the elders will probably believe him instead of you.
You will probably get branded as a liar, and be forced to leave your church.

I'm very sorry, but this isn't going to go well.

Be sure you have the support and understanding of your family and close friends.
You'll need it.
 
S

stevekross

Guest
#3
#3
maxwel said:
Stevekross,

I think you're about to experience a lot of very serious problems.

The pastor is obviously not a good or sincere man.
He probably now feels like he "must" discredit YOU in some way, to protect himself.

You will need to tell some people about this, and you will probably need to find a new church.
I would recommend you first tell your family, so you'll have some people who believe you, and trust you.
Then you'll need to talk to the elders of the church.

However, don't expect that to go well.
The pastor will probably deny what happened, and say you are lying, and the elders will probably believe him instead of you.
You will probably get branded as a liar, and be forced to leave your church.

I'm very sorry, but this isn't going to go well.

Be sure you have the support and understanding of your family and close friends.
You'll need it.
Click to expand...
Thank you Maxwell.

I have a meeting with him, apparently he's repented and I arrived just in time to he not commit adultery.
 
notuptome

notuptome

Senior Member
#4
May 17, 2013
15,050
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#4
Let us hope for the best but know that there will always be doubt about him. Trust broken or the appearance of trust broken is not easily erased.

The fields are white unto harvest but the laborers are few.

For the cause of Christ
Roger
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#5
Apr 18, 2013
9,371
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#5
Stevekross,

According to the New Testament, God holds pastors to extremely high standards.

If a pastor has so little self control that he can't refrain from adultery unless a church member walks in and stops him...
I don't think I could have much confidence in him.

The outward things we do are only a manifestation of the inward things in our heart.
There has to be a LOT of wrong thinking, for a LONG time, before an ordained minister could even CONSIDER committing adultery....
so this is indicative of a LONG LASTING and VERY DEEP sin problem.

It's just an outward symptom of a much bigger problem beneath the surface.
It's just like seeing an iceberg on the ocean... you only see the top; most of it is below the surface.

I still think this is EXTREMELY serious.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#6
#6
What would i do in that situation? well, i would tell him that i will still love him whatever he decides to do, and God will still love him too, and that i will pray for him and ask him is there anything else i can do to help?
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#7
Jul 23, 2013
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#7
mystikmind said:
What would i do in that situation? well, i would tell him that i will still love him whatever he decides to do, and God will still love him too, and that i will pray for him and ask him is there anything else i can do to help?
Click to expand...
This, the man needs mercy and help.
 
F

FridaysChild

Guest
#9
#9
mystikmind said:
What would i do in that situation? well, i would tell him that i will still love him whatever he decides to do, and God will still love him too, and that i will pray for him and ask him is there anything else i can do to help?
Click to expand...
I might: Speak to a trusted brother of authority in private about this and explain what you saw or thought you saw.

Sometimes things are not what we think. Just saying.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#10
Jul 23, 2013
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#10
maxwel said:
EVERYONE in sin needs mercy and help.

EVERYONE in sin is not necessarily qualified to be a pastor.
Click to expand...
Obviously, but your first reply left me leaving thinking what the heck? All that on such a vague post..If I were that pastor I would most certainly offer to step down until I got my stuff sorted out but as you say it's probably a long running issue in his heart to get to that point, I wonder why he never felt to seek help from others? (If he didn't) In some cases all can be equally blamed if we don't nurture an environment where you can feel safe to find help without judgement and shame.
Perhaps our views are shaped by experience? I know of a pastor who committed adultery with someone from the church, he was judged and kicked out but since then he has repented and been restored 10 fold, even more! All I have to say is that church has missed out, actually it's no longer running any more.
Some people expect the pastor to walk through everyone's issues with them but as soon as the pastor slips up...watch out!
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#11
Apr 18, 2013
9,371
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#11
breno785au said:
Obviously, but your first reply left me leaving thinking what the heck? All that on such a vague post..If I were that pastor I would most certainly offer to step down until I got my stuff sorted out but as you say it's probably a long running issue in his heart to get to that point, I wonder why he never felt to seek help from others? (If he didn't) In some cases all can be equally blamed if we don't nurture an environment where you can feel safe to find help without judgement and shame.
Perhaps our views are shaped by experience? I know of a pastor who committed adultery with someone from the church, he was judged and kicked out but since then he has repented and been restored 10 fold, even more! All I have to say is that church has missed out, actually it's no longer running any more.
Some people expect the pastor to walk through everyone's issues with them but as soon as the pastor slips up...watch out!
Click to expand...
Breno, I know you're a nice Christian guy.
I don't question that at all.


But adultery isn't a "slip".

It's a very serious thing.

The New Testament gives CHARACTER QUALIFICATIONS for being the LEADER of the flock.
The pastor is held, by God, to very high standards.
It's all very serious.
When a pastor fails in his morals, in some egregious way, he is actually DISQUALIFYING HIMSELF.

It's all in 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus.
It's all right in the bible.

A pastor should be forgiven, and loved, and shown mercy,
but if he's done something bad enough to disqualify himself from ministry...
that's very sad, but it's what he has to live with.
 
breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#12
Jul 23, 2013
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#12
maxwel said:
Breno, I know you're a nice Christian guy.
I don't question that at all.


But adultery isn't a "slip".

It's a very serious thing.

The New Testament gives CHARACTER QUALIFICATIONS for being the LEADER of the flock.
The pastor is held, by God, to very high standards.
It's all very serious.
When a pastor fails in his morals, in some egregious way, he is actually DISQUALIFYING HIMSELF.

It's all in 1 Timothy, 2 Timothy, and Titus.
It's all right in the bible.

A pastor should be forgiven, and loved, and shown mercy,
but if he's done something bad enough to disqualify himself from ministry...
that's very sad, but it's what he has to live with.
Click to expand...
Yeah I understand that and I'm not saying it shouldn't be dealt with and it is a very serious issue. He should step aside or should be stepped aside until he gets the help he needs to sort himself out. I think i'm coming from a place of people being ostracized and dealt harshly without mercy.
But to say all those things that he will lie about what he did and you'll have to find a new church etc. etc. I'm sorry I don't agree with having that view off the bat like that but that's just my opinion and we are free to hold each others opinion. I don't hold anything against you for that :)
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#13
Apr 18, 2013
9,371
2,448
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#13
breno785au said:
Yeah I understand that and I'm not saying it shouldn't be dealt with and it is a very serious issue. He should step aside or should be stepped aside until he gets the help he needs to sort himself out. I think i'm coming from a place of people being ostracized and dealt harshly without mercy.
But to say all those things that he will lie about what he did and you'll have to find a new church etc. etc. I'm sorry I don't agree with having that view off the bat like that but that's just my opinion and we are free to hold each others opinion. I don't hold anything against you for that :)
Click to expand...
The stuff I mentioned in my first post is all from personal experience with pastors, on multiple occasions.
It also coincides with the basic psychology of the situation.

It works like this:
Someone doesn't get into a sin that serious unless their heart and mind are pretty far off the path...
so what most people do when ALREADY in that depth of sin, and when they have A LOT TO LOSE,
is to lie their way out of it.

That is the standard, normative thing to expect.

My brother, I certainly hope I'm wrong.
God Bless.
 
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breno785au

breno785au

Senior Member
#14
Jul 23, 2013
6,002
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#14
maxwel said:
The stuff I mentioned in my first post is all from personal experience with people, on multiple occasions.
It also coincides with the basic psychology of the situation.

It works like this:
Someone doesn't get into a sin that serious unless their heart and mind are pretty far off the path...
so what most people do when ALREADY in that depth of sin, and when they have A LOT TO LOSE,
is to lie their way out of it.

That is the standard, normative thing to expect.

My brother, I certainly hope I'm wrong.
God Bless.
Click to expand...
Fair enough, i'm not very good at psychology and I hope your wrong too :p
 
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