You are not crazy, you just live in a crazy time (unwanted seperation), when the emotional reality does strange things.
My partner told me over a year ago now, that the relationship is ended (after 13 years) and we only seperated (as in differnent living appartement) in oktober (11 months later). In between there were so many times, when I thought we were together. And then times, when he said, no she is only a friend. And my feelings for him went between love, hate, distaste to joy.
If and when you livve with that you endure it, because god gives you strength, if needed and a way to let go of the desperate hold on whatever worldly thing, you hold on to.
God is with you, but a relationshipcrisis can be a long thing, and as there ate two people involved, it might not end in easy togetherness. You have to trust god with the life of your partner.