The most important thing in a persons life should be "Where are you going when you die?" When keeping your eye on the bigger picture all other things will be trivial. But it is the trivial things that can cause us to lose focus on the bigger picture. So then trivial things must be dealt with, as to not cause us to stop seeing the bigger picture.
Usually the solutions to most peoples situations can be found within self.
i can only go by the information that you provided in OP, if i am incorrect in assuming things, i apologize in advance.
You say "My bfs dad continues to hurt my bf again and again and again and it is so hard to watch." So i am assuming you are there to witness the dads behavior towards you bf? i have lived by this statement. Do not put yourself in a situation that you know will bring your spirit down. If you know going there you are going to see this kind of behavior from dad to your bf, then it is advisable to remove yourself from that situation. Can your bf leave and meet you outside? Can you pick him up and take him somewhere else to visit with him? Do not stay in the same room with dad. If i was the bf, i would not want my gf to witness such belittling from my dad, i would try to do everything to avoid my dad in situations like that. So then remove yourself from that situation.
You say "How on earth am I supposed to respect him? " And who told you, that you had to do so? Are you married to your bf? Now if you are thinking about marrying your bf, i can understand your desire to want to respect his dad, but the question is where do you stand with you and your bf, is it serious, are you two discussing marriage or is he merely a bf that you are interested in? If the latter, then it does not matter if you respect his dad or not, or that he respect you or not. You two are just dating. If it gets more serious and you two are talking about marriage and the such, then what the dad thinks may (i say MAY) come into play. But right now the vibe i get from you, is marriage is not on the table and he is just a bf, so who cares what his dad thinks, or if you have respect for him or not? Now if you are planning to marry him, and it is important to you that you respect the father of your husband, then i can understand your concern with having respect for him, or it is important to your bf that you have respect for his father, which by what you say above i highly doubt that is the case.
You say "He makes my boyfriend feel worthless!" Are you assuming your bf feels this way, or has he expressed this to you personally? Or do you just know that is how he feels? The reason i ask that is because men in general do not like talking about their feelings, they generally keep these kinds of feelings to themselves. Therefore you might be assuming that he is hurt by his dad's statements when maybe they don't bother him at all. Now if you KNOW they bother him because he has revealed to you that he is hurt by his dads statements. This may be a bf to keep a hold of, it shows compassion on his part and he, being a man, is able to open up emotionally to you, which is indeed a rare quality in a guy. (as long as it is not too much mooshyness, such as crying at the drop of a hat. or saying such things like, "I feel bloated") Either way, support and encourage him and help him to try to see that his dads words are not True.
You say "Now his dad is making him feel awful and I'm supposed to respect him?" Again, who is telling you, that you are supposed to respect him?
Let us talk about the dad for a minute. We are super quick to judge people, and first impressions are long lasting. But have you considered the WHY your bf dad is saying all that stuff? He says something hurtful to your bf which is uncalled for, and possibly not even true. But WHY? There could be any number of reasons for the WHY he does that. Please do not think i am defending the dad in any way whatsoever, i am not, it is wrong and evil to say hurtful things to another, it is not Godly at all, but there is always a reason for it. And most of the time that reason is NOT as you supposed it would be. Maybe your bf dad is resentful that his son is 21 years old and still living at home, when most people at 21 are moved out. Maybe he has some issues with having a blind son that he has to deal with. Maybe he is upset that his son does not work and he has to buy all the food in the house, and support his 21 year old son. Maybe his dad feels as long as his blind son lives with him he can't be happy. All these things of coarse are foolishness, but those things may be what the dad is dealing with. Maybe the dad does not believe in a God because God allowed him to have a blind child. Again not defending him, but knowing the reasons that are behind his actions will help you to better deal with him. ALWAYS remember, everyone has issues they are dealing with, that is important. When you are driving down the road, every single person you see are having to deal with their own issues, their own problems. The dad is reacting in a way that he shouldn't, but it is probably because he does not know the right way to deal with it. Most people need to vent, and they take it out on the ones they love. Venting is healthy, holding it all in then blowing up, is not healthy. Seems to me, and i have seen it many times, the dad has some issues, and he takes his stress and problems out on your bf. Is that right to do? God forbid. People need to be educated on how to deal with stress in their life, how to properly vent without causing issues with the very ones they are venting too.
If you want my advice on what to do in this situation, i would say Love your bf, and Love his dad too. Be nice to him, have compassion for him too. Maybe sit down and talk with him and try to get him to open up about the issues that are happening in his life. If you show compassion towards him, it is likely he will return it. All this advice is to you, not to the bf, not to the dad. If i were to talk to your bf, i would tell him to Love his dad, despite the things he says to him. your bf would probably know more about his dads issues, therefore you and your bf get together and see if there is anything that you two could do to alleviate some of the issues his dad is having. Its all about Healing. First find out what the problem is, so that problem can be addressed, when that problem is fixed, identify the next problem and work on fixing that one. Healing.
But to you i say this, if going to his house causes you Spirit to become down, or you commit sin of any kind because of that situation, than you need to stay away from that situation, if you want to continue to see bf, then work it out to do it some where else than where the dad is. Explain to your bf, that when you see dad hurting him, it hurts you, and you don't want to be hurt any more by his dad.
Again, remember always the bigger picture here. Your walk with Jesus Christ. One year from now, this situation will be but a faded memory, and it will seem to have been trivial to you. But i understand, you take a favorite toy from a child and his world is ended, so trivial. But to the child it is not trivial, and that is because they do not see the bigger picture, they only see the favorite toy is gone and they want it back. Likewise adults are the same way. Losing a job, losing a marriage, have a disease, loss of a loved one, small issues, large issues. all is vanity, all is trivial compared to living for eternity. The most important thing in life, is NOT what is going on in your life right now, the most important thing is, where are you going to spend eternity and continue to walk in the light, continue to walk on the narrow and difficult path that leads to Life Everlasting, it is the trivial issues in our life that makes us take our eyes off the narrow and difficult path. So what if you lost your job, so what if you become homeless, so what if you lose your house, so what if your spouse is leaving you for a another younger person, so what if you have a major disease, so what if your crippled, so what if you don't have respect for your bf dad? All is vanity, All is trivial, when it comes to Eternity. What is happening to you in this life, is happening to you but for a speck of dust on the moon. Realize that, and issues in life, will not effect you near as much as if a favorite toy has been taken away from you.
Love you all, gotta go cook on the grill now, God is Good.
^i^ Responding to OP
Usually the solutions to most peoples situations can be found within self.
i can only go by the information that you provided in OP, if i am incorrect in assuming things, i apologize in advance.
You say "My bfs dad continues to hurt my bf again and again and again and it is so hard to watch." So i am assuming you are there to witness the dads behavior towards you bf? i have lived by this statement. Do not put yourself in a situation that you know will bring your spirit down. If you know going there you are going to see this kind of behavior from dad to your bf, then it is advisable to remove yourself from that situation. Can your bf leave and meet you outside? Can you pick him up and take him somewhere else to visit with him? Do not stay in the same room with dad. If i was the bf, i would not want my gf to witness such belittling from my dad, i would try to do everything to avoid my dad in situations like that. So then remove yourself from that situation.
You say "How on earth am I supposed to respect him? " And who told you, that you had to do so? Are you married to your bf? Now if you are thinking about marrying your bf, i can understand your desire to want to respect his dad, but the question is where do you stand with you and your bf, is it serious, are you two discussing marriage or is he merely a bf that you are interested in? If the latter, then it does not matter if you respect his dad or not, or that he respect you or not. You two are just dating. If it gets more serious and you two are talking about marriage and the such, then what the dad thinks may (i say MAY) come into play. But right now the vibe i get from you, is marriage is not on the table and he is just a bf, so who cares what his dad thinks, or if you have respect for him or not? Now if you are planning to marry him, and it is important to you that you respect the father of your husband, then i can understand your concern with having respect for him, or it is important to your bf that you have respect for his father, which by what you say above i highly doubt that is the case.
You say "He makes my boyfriend feel worthless!" Are you assuming your bf feels this way, or has he expressed this to you personally? Or do you just know that is how he feels? The reason i ask that is because men in general do not like talking about their feelings, they generally keep these kinds of feelings to themselves. Therefore you might be assuming that he is hurt by his dad's statements when maybe they don't bother him at all. Now if you KNOW they bother him because he has revealed to you that he is hurt by his dads statements. This may be a bf to keep a hold of, it shows compassion on his part and he, being a man, is able to open up emotionally to you, which is indeed a rare quality in a guy. (as long as it is not too much mooshyness, such as crying at the drop of a hat. or saying such things like, "I feel bloated") Either way, support and encourage him and help him to try to see that his dads words are not True.
You say "Now his dad is making him feel awful and I'm supposed to respect him?" Again, who is telling you, that you are supposed to respect him?
Let us talk about the dad for a minute. We are super quick to judge people, and first impressions are long lasting. But have you considered the WHY your bf dad is saying all that stuff? He says something hurtful to your bf which is uncalled for, and possibly not even true. But WHY? There could be any number of reasons for the WHY he does that. Please do not think i am defending the dad in any way whatsoever, i am not, it is wrong and evil to say hurtful things to another, it is not Godly at all, but there is always a reason for it. And most of the time that reason is NOT as you supposed it would be. Maybe your bf dad is resentful that his son is 21 years old and still living at home, when most people at 21 are moved out. Maybe he has some issues with having a blind son that he has to deal with. Maybe he is upset that his son does not work and he has to buy all the food in the house, and support his 21 year old son. Maybe his dad feels as long as his blind son lives with him he can't be happy. All these things of coarse are foolishness, but those things may be what the dad is dealing with. Maybe the dad does not believe in a God because God allowed him to have a blind child. Again not defending him, but knowing the reasons that are behind his actions will help you to better deal with him. ALWAYS remember, everyone has issues they are dealing with, that is important. When you are driving down the road, every single person you see are having to deal with their own issues, their own problems. The dad is reacting in a way that he shouldn't, but it is probably because he does not know the right way to deal with it. Most people need to vent, and they take it out on the ones they love. Venting is healthy, holding it all in then blowing up, is not healthy. Seems to me, and i have seen it many times, the dad has some issues, and he takes his stress and problems out on your bf. Is that right to do? God forbid. People need to be educated on how to deal with stress in their life, how to properly vent without causing issues with the very ones they are venting too.
If you want my advice on what to do in this situation, i would say Love your bf, and Love his dad too. Be nice to him, have compassion for him too. Maybe sit down and talk with him and try to get him to open up about the issues that are happening in his life. If you show compassion towards him, it is likely he will return it. All this advice is to you, not to the bf, not to the dad. If i were to talk to your bf, i would tell him to Love his dad, despite the things he says to him. your bf would probably know more about his dads issues, therefore you and your bf get together and see if there is anything that you two could do to alleviate some of the issues his dad is having. Its all about Healing. First find out what the problem is, so that problem can be addressed, when that problem is fixed, identify the next problem and work on fixing that one. Healing.
But to you i say this, if going to his house causes you Spirit to become down, or you commit sin of any kind because of that situation, than you need to stay away from that situation, if you want to continue to see bf, then work it out to do it some where else than where the dad is. Explain to your bf, that when you see dad hurting him, it hurts you, and you don't want to be hurt any more by his dad.
Again, remember always the bigger picture here. Your walk with Jesus Christ. One year from now, this situation will be but a faded memory, and it will seem to have been trivial to you. But i understand, you take a favorite toy from a child and his world is ended, so trivial. But to the child it is not trivial, and that is because they do not see the bigger picture, they only see the favorite toy is gone and they want it back. Likewise adults are the same way. Losing a job, losing a marriage, have a disease, loss of a loved one, small issues, large issues. all is vanity, all is trivial compared to living for eternity. The most important thing in life, is NOT what is going on in your life right now, the most important thing is, where are you going to spend eternity and continue to walk in the light, continue to walk on the narrow and difficult path that leads to Life Everlasting, it is the trivial issues in our life that makes us take our eyes off the narrow and difficult path. So what if you lost your job, so what if you become homeless, so what if you lose your house, so what if your spouse is leaving you for a another younger person, so what if you have a major disease, so what if your crippled, so what if you don't have respect for your bf dad? All is vanity, All is trivial, when it comes to Eternity. What is happening to you in this life, is happening to you but for a speck of dust on the moon. Realize that, and issues in life, will not effect you near as much as if a favorite toy has been taken away from you.
Love you all, gotta go cook on the grill now, God is Good.
^i^ Responding to OP