caregiver needing encouragement

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hietak

Guest
#1
#1
Hi
I am a caregiver for my 93 year old mother. I live with her. I have a brother and sister who have their own families but they help out as well. I feel trapped her. I can't leave unless someone comes here. My mother has confusion issues so we don't feel she can be left alone. We certainly can't afford to hire someone 24-7. We do have a gal come in 2 days a week for 3 hours so I can go out. But it is between 12 and 3 and that is it. I really need some encouragement from the Bible and from others that have been there. thank you.
 
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Tumnus

Guest
#2
#2
Dear hietak: I know EXACTLY what you are going through seeing as I am going through the same thing myself. I am sole caregiver (I have no siblings) of two elderly parents that require 24/7 care. One parent has dementia and mobility problem while the other has emphysema and chronic pain issues. I also have someone come in three days a week for a couple of hours, but it is not enough. I am blessed to have an understanding and supportive husband who rolls up his sleeves and helps me when he comes in from work, but that is rough on him as well.

If you don't mind, we could be of encouragement to each other. I was going to post a new thread about my needing caregivng encouragement as well, but felt embarrassed. I know the physically, spiritual, emotional exhaustion one can feel. I hit burnout LONG ago.

I try to look at it that I am blessed to have both parents still alive and that I have the honor (Deut. 5:16) to be able to care for them in their "golden" years. But, that being said, I am still human...and still relatively young IMO;-). We can lift each other up in prayer and I would be honored to share Scriptural support with you too as I find it for myself.
 
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choZn

Guest
#3
#3
I don't know how qualified I am to answer your post. I was the main caregiver for my mom who battled cancer for several years, but she still had my dad and I wasn't the only one. Even so, I still felt the pressure-although I wanted to be there for my mom. It took time away from my family, my work (and so my income), and myself. It took it's toll physically, emotionally, mentally, and tested me spiritually in ways that I had never been tested before.

You may not be able to leave or have the support that you would like from other family members, but do yourself a favor and do what you CAN do to take care of you. Make friends with Tumnus up there. She sounds like a lady who just might be on the same page with you. Stay connected with others by phone, especially your church. If you are able, invite others to come to you since you cannot go to them. Do not ignore your own health.

Phillipians 3:13-14 encourages us to run the race set before us to claim the prize that waits for us in heaven. This is part of your race. Your prize will be waiting. My prayers are with you.
 
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Tumnus

Guest
#4
#4
chozn: Thank you for sharing your story. Yes, I agree, please don't ignore your own health. I did that for a while trying to be "superwoman" and ending up in the hospital. The most courageous thing caregivers can do is ask for help. When others offer to help, allow them to have the blessing of being able to serve.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#5
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
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#5
Whenever you care for the sick, or the elderly, or disabled, you are not only caring for that person,
but you are actually touching Jesus's heart at the same time.


34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

Matthew 25:34-40 NIV

God bless you both for the care that you are providing. It is really the Lord's work that you are doing because you are sacrificing your life for another. God bless you.
 
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Tumnus

Guest
#7
#7
Thank you for the Scriptures, zeroturbulence! I always need a good washing of the Word for refreshment.
Thank you, AnandaHya, for the prayers of renewal and encouragement!

Has anyone seen hietak on the other threads? I wonder how she is doing. She has been on my heart lately.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#8
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#8
Tumnus said:
Thank you for the Scriptures, zeroturbulence! I always need a good washing of the Word for refreshment.
Thank you, AnandaHya, for the prayers of renewal and encouragement!

Has anyone seen hietak on the other threads? I wonder how she is doing. She has been on my heart lately.
Click to expand...
You're very welcome. I haven't seen hietak, but you can send her a private message, that way she'll see it as soon as she logs in. God bless the both of you.

gabriel
 
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Tumnus

Guest
#9
#9
Will do, thanks!
 
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Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
hietak, You certainly have my prayers. I cared for both of my parents and a spouse before they passed away, while working a fulltime job, and taking care of a home and family. I did have someone come in while I was at work, but was alone the remaining 16 hours, which often meant going to work the next day without sleep. There were so many times when I didn't know how I was going to keep it up. But God gives grace...

It is one of the most difficult things you will ever do, but it will also be among the most rewarding. When they each passed, I had such tremendous peace...knowing that I had done what the Lord would have me do. Please always look at it in light of the scripture zero posted above. All we do, we do unto the Lord.

May His presence be with you richly...
 
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Tumnus

Guest
#11
#11
Jullianna said:
hietak, You certainly have my prayers. I cared for both of my parents and a spouse before they passed away, while working a fulltime job, and taking care of a home and family. I did have someone come in while I was at work, but was alone the remaining 16 hours, which often meant going to work the next day without sleep. There were so many times when I didn't know how I was going to keep it up. But God gives grace...

It is one of the most difficult things you will ever do, but it will also be among the most rewarding. When they each passed, I had such tremendous peace...knowing that I had done what the Lord would have me do. Please always look at it in light of the scripture zero posted above. All we do, we do unto the Lord.

May His presence be with you richly...
Click to expand...

You truly have been tested, sister in Christ. I honor you for your devotion to your family and praise God for your faith and His faithfulness.
 
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heavenlyangel

Guest
#12
#12
I am my moms caregiver, while having health issues of my own. I am 38 years old so still fairly yyoung. It gets rough there's only me here to do it. When I go somewhere she comes along, she can't be left alone. Kinda hard never having any alone time. She don't want much of any company either so a site like this is all I have. I'm always busy it seems running to drs with her n myself. There is a lady that comes three days a week for three hrs tho... But I love my mom and will do anything I can to help her. Well I guess one plus is she loves to get out n ride just me and her.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#13
Mar 13, 2014
41,329
16,309
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Tennessee
#13
heavenlyangel said:
I am my moms caregiver, while having health issues of my own. I am 38 years old so still fairly yyoung. It gets rough there's only me here to do it. When I go somewhere she comes along, she can't be left alone. Kinda hard never having any alone time. She don't want much of any company either so a site like this is all I have. I'm always busy it seems running to drs with her n myself. There is a lady that comes three days a week for three hrs tho... But I love my mom and will do anything I can to help her. Well I guess one plus is she loves to get out n ride just me and her.
Click to expand...
I understand full well about caregiving and how demanding it can be as everything falls on you. God has a special blessing for you. God Bless You.
 
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