confused

[grace45]

Is dating a married man who is separated but not divorced a sin? and if so, how do I diconnect from the relatinship without being hurt as we were simply friends for 6 yrs before becoming emotionally involved with each other

 

[jamieedmonds10]

Ive been in that situation before. I wouldn't say its a sin but my question would be is there a chance that his marriage will work? Is it truly over? There are many questions to ask in such a situation. As long as you two are not becoming intimate in a sexual way, i think by keeping your distance will benefit BOTH of you. The BEST thing to do would be to wait until he is divorced. That way you KNOW there are no stumbling blocks. I will pray for you and your situation.

 

[grace45]

Thank you so much for those words of encouragement, I think he may still be somewhat in love with her, of course he says differently but people often say what they think you want to hear in an attempt to make a situation as this, more favorable on their behalf.

 

[Ugly]

If he's not divorced, then what is he? Oh, married. There is
And you don't disconnect without being hurt. Not possible. If you don't want the risk of emotional pain, the best way to do that is avoid friendships and relationships. Otherwise, you're always at risk, and likely to end up hurt from time to time. Especially when you risk romantic relationships.

 

[grace45]

Lol, guess that should have been a no brainer for me but thanks for responding.

 

[Ugly]

No worries, we all miss things sometimes. At least you're seeking counsel on it. So many people wait til it gets worse and then seek help to get out, or fix it.

 

[Lucy68]

Yes, that is a sin . Good for you that you're able to admit it and do something about it .

Just be honest with him....that you're not comfortable dating him because he's still married. That's your conscience talking .

Since the two of you are attracted to each other, it may be best to not be around each other. I know that's hard but God will honor our attempts to do what is right in His eyes.

Praying for strength and guidance for you .

 

[grace45]

Yes it is hard and I have chosen not to be around him anymore, although I do miss the laughter and fun times we shared together but I can't continue to risk my relationship with God. I find myself praying for the will of God concerning his marriage, I do know God honors marriage. When I pray I am sincere and even though it may not be favorable for me, I can accept whatever God allows. Who knows? Maybe God will give me favor and I will meet the right person, at the right time, and at the right season in my life. I surely hope he will kick it up a notch though lol.. Just kidding, I can and I will continue to wait. Thank you for allowing God to use you, I will accept, recieve truth and Godly wisdom any day rather than take advice that will tickle and pacify my flesh, for in it dwells no good thing.

 

[Lucy68]

You're a smart and graceful person....praying that you will find Mr. Right at the right time

 

[blessedmommy34]

Im separated myself and the hardest part about being separated is not falling into a relationship with someone else. That is my biggest fear...the bible teaches in Corthinans 7 that if we divorce, we are to remain single for the rest of our lives or else we become guilty of adultery. That's hard to swallow, but if the bible says it, we know its true. He will forever be married to his wife in Gods eyes and i will forever be married to my husband. Its a situation that can only lead to heartache and guilt. I think you want to be the first wife to your first husband and vice versa. Like I said I ma in the same positon and just praying for the strength to do the right thing according to God's word, not mans.

Be blessed

 

[blessedmommy34]

7:10 But to the married I command--not I, but the Lord--that the wife not leave her husband

7:11 (but if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband not leave his wife.

 

[grace45]

Yes maam, I do want to be my future husbands first wife and for him to be my first husband. I will pray for you and your situation, I hope you will do the same for me. I pray that God will give you wisdom on what you need to do concerning your marriage. We often quote the scripture that says, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder, but I don't believe that God has joined and sanctified every marriage, if that were so then how could two men or women be joined together in marriage to one another and it be of God, there are also children who in certain countries at the age of 8 are forced to marry an adult, would this be of God as well. It is my oppinion that sometimes when we don't wait on God for the mate that he has for us, we end up joining ourselves to another person that may be within his permissive will but not the divine will of God. As I said this is just an expression of my own oppinion and I may stand to be corrected. I know and trust that God will lead you in your decision, we often put things on God that we chose for ourselves, but with that being said,, let us look to the hills from which cometh our help for ALL of our help comes from the lord. May the peace of God be with you and your family, that surpasseth all understanding. God bless you..

 

[blessedmommy34]

I agree with you 100%...I thought it was a God ordained marriage seeing how I met him on the basis of bible studies and the Word of God..he appeared like a true christian man...he led me to the Word and I thank God for that no matter how it came to be. I do see today that I chose this marriage and it was not who God had intended for me. I was led away by own desires adn would never blame God for how it turned out, i take full repsonsibility for my own choices. Just pray that God has mercy on me and leads me the right way. I need to really hear what He is saying becuz I can be rebellious which I hate. I have suffered abuse, drug addiction, stealing and degradation with my husband. It was not the life I thought I would have, especially when marrying at the age of 30, but alas it is what I got. Now Im trying to put the pieces of my life back together for my boys sake and my own. I have lost so much and now I look forward to gaining much more than I lost. I thank you for your words and please know i take no offense at all....your opinion was right on the mark. Wait, and let God lead you to the man He has ordained for you...it will be a blessed marriage only when God is truly the center of it all.

Be blessed, I will pray for you as well

 

[grace45]

Thank you, but remember that God is bigger than any addiction and that there is nothing broken that he can not fix, and that he is married to the backslider. I'm in no way telling you that it is not ordained by God, you have to seek Gods guidance on what to do and not mans oppinion. Lean not to thine own understanding, but in all thy ways acknowledge him. God is still in control and I believe that God can restore your marriage to an even better place than it was when you two met, if you only trust him. God already knows the blessings he has in store for you and your family.

 

[Nits]

Confused...... New on this site read your request. Child of God. with all due respect God says in His word that he has not given us a spirit of Fear....but a sound mind. Also he is not a confused God. Human try to make one another confused. What God has put together let no man set assunder.Let the couple work out their differences and if there is Hope only God can restore. My friend don't get involved as you will just add more to the man's complications. I agree with the previous reply. Keep your distance and be a woman of strength through that you will find great respect rom him Let him know you cannot be second best. Our women needs to stand up especially in situations like these whereby i things does not work out for them with their partners they can just run to another one to satisfy his needs. Marriage is sacret he needs to take the vows he made to God and men seriously. If there is children born out of the marriage. My advise to you don't even meditate on the fact that you will be happy with him. God Bless you and trust you will make the correct choice in your life.

 

[grace45]

I have no idea what you are talking about, or the post you are refering to.

 

[joshhuntnm]

how would you feel if you were on the other side. it will hurt in the short run to do the right thing. I don't really think you are confused.

 

[grace45]

If you read the entire thread, you would know that I am not confused. The issue has been resolved between my friend and I, and I would like to add that if it were me in the significant others position, I doubt if I would feel anything since she chose to end the marriage and he agreed. My question was not how the other person would feel, but whether or not it was spiritually wrong to date a married but legally seperated man. I felt conviction, not her. I would have recieved your words if you had been led by the spirit of God to reply, but since the subject is closed and the issue resolved, not recieving anything that is not scriptually sound doctrine and feelings are meant to be controlled by us, not them having control over us. That is why I made my decision not based upon my FEELINGS, but the WORD of GOD. No disrespect intended, and not trying to offend you in any way. I am just a very straight foward person. My sincerest apologies if you are offended by my reply. God bless you.

 

[Lucy68]

I think I'm confused but glad to hear that this has been resolved for you.

Praying for you Grace, that the Lord will lead you into green pastures filled with blessings .

 

[grace45]

I think I'm confused but glad to hear that this has been resolved for you.

Praying for you Grace, that the Lord will lead you into green pastures filled with blessings .

Lol, I was giving a reply to someone who responded to the thread confused, by asking me what if it were me and some other things that didnt make sense, he obviously didnt read through the thread before he gave his oppinion. I may have sent my reply wrong, lol.