divorce
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U
Yes, divorce is unhealthy. But sometimes staying is unhealthy. My gf was married for years in an unhealthy marriage. Unhealthy for her and her children. There was no "good" way to go. Both leaving and staying were bad options, as is often the case. Yet she got the divorce (before we met). She struggles sometimes, from it. But she struggled during the marriage as well. This way she at least has a real chance at being happy again.
It sounds to me as if this man has broken his vows. I'm not even sure why he married you... Or you married him, for that matter.
Whatever you choose it will be difficult. There is no easy out. But that doesn't mean it's impossible.
It sounds to me as if this man has broken his vows. I'm not even sure why he married you... Or you married him, for that matter.
Whatever you choose it will be difficult. There is no easy out. But that doesn't mean it's impossible.
U
"Swearing off men". Advice like that usually comes from someone hurt, not someone being reasonable. Stay away for a while, sure, but there May come a day when you don't want to stay away any longer. So be reasonable in your outlook.
Many women do horrendous things as well. I have a few stories myself. Don't blame men, blame sin. Because we're all capable of doing bad to each other.
Many women do horrendous things as well. I have a few stories myself. Don't blame men, blame sin. Because we're all capable of doing bad to each other.
thanks for your advice nothing against men, its really against me. i have obvious terrible patterns and judgments in dealing with the wrong type of men. it's something in me broken that would even tolerate utter mess. when i release all these unhealthy ties to destructive relationships, the right one will come along. i agree about women too, i have a few friends that were essentially users to me.
It kind of begs the question, what does God think of those who knowingly marry the wrong person? Aren't you already being punished according to your personality and life choices? Usually we know what is coming, God always tells us, always, right in the very 'first' moment we 'met' that person. (People rarely think about that silent split second of knowledge that comes zooming in)
And if these things have changed since getting married, then God surely wants you to try and work on getting things back to how they were? The more passive you are the more aggressive the opposite. There are two sides to every coin. No person is without blame or responsibility in a fractious relationship.
Sounds like you have a challenge on your hands, well if you don't want this challenge anymore (either through fixing it, or divorce) then tell God you don't want this challenge anymore, what are you to do, what are you to change?
As for asking advice here what to do, people will lead you up the wrong path based on their own subjective assumptions. Eg. man haters especially (they won't say it, only word it)
And if these things have changed since getting married, then God surely wants you to try and work on getting things back to how they were? The more passive you are the more aggressive the opposite. There are two sides to every coin. No person is without blame or responsibility in a fractious relationship.
Sounds like you have a challenge on your hands, well if you don't want this challenge anymore (either through fixing it, or divorce) then tell God you don't want this challenge anymore, what are you to do, what are you to change?
As for asking advice here what to do, people will lead you up the wrong path based on their own subjective assumptions. Eg. man haters especially (they won't say it, only word it)
The real question isn't whether you should divorce, but why in the world you would marry someone like that in the first place? Surely he portrayed most of these negative attributes pre-marriage? I'd advise divorce, but even more important, get to know your next husband prior to the "I do's". If a guy doesn't work, threatens to beat others up, prefers to live with his mother, and calls your kids stupid, he's probably not an ideal candidate for a husband, so drop the bum and shop for someone better.
"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh" (Matthew 19:5)
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8)
"For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh" (Matthew 19:5)
"But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8)
I don't know what state you live in, but in many states, a marriage than has never been consummated can be legally annulled, which means the marriage never happened. This is different than a divorce, in which you were married, but the marriage ended.
I would contact a legal aid society and get information about whether you can do this where you live.
And whatever you do, do not consummate the marriage, or you will have to apply for a divorce!
I would contact a legal aid society and get information about whether you can do this where you live.
And whatever you do, do not consummate the marriage, or you will have to apply for a divorce!