family issues

godfavoredmemason · Mar 20, 2015

My daughter has been running away since 15 and this time she's been gone for a while. Since she is 17 there is nothing more I can do. I'm more focused on her salvation if I provided enough of God words and displayed how a Christian is supposed to live. I feel as a parent I failed her and I have 3 more daughters to raise how do I get passed this and move on I feel stuck. Please pray for me to experience God peace

AaronEHarris · Mar 20, 2015

godfavoredmemason said:

I am sad to hear that your daughter is choosing to run away from you and the rest of her family. I am only 29 years old and I do not have any children, but I have been through many experiences with close friends who have decided that running away is the best option for them at the moment. I am not sure if you will consider this Good information, bad information, or just information, but you should realize that people of all ages run away. Some people physically run away and others will mentally or spiritually run away. It can happen at a young age or even an older age, and it can be for many different reasons.

At this point, you say that there is nothing you can do to keep your daughter home, but I believe that there is something you can do. Your daughter is 17 has been doing this for 2 years so it means that something has happened in her life to spark this change of attitude. She believes that she is safest and/or most comfortable in another place with someone else. You may ask yourself some of the following questions:

1. Where does she run to?
2. Who is providing for her?
3. Why does she return home?
4. Does she miss her family?
5. What will you do the next time that she comes home?

I am not sure if you are familiar with the story of the prodigal son, but I suggest that you do a google search and read it from many perspectives. Of course, be sure to read the passage from the bible as well. There are so many lost souls in this world and God is like a parent that is asking why his children continue to run away. And then there are those of us who may have never run away, but we ask ourselves, "Why does God lament for the lost souls so much that he is willing to postpone judgement day so that some of those souls, who have already rejected him, may have an opportunity to return?" Well, the answer to this question can be summed up with one simple word: love.

I think that you are also concerned about the welfare of your other three children. However, you should not be ashamed of your parenting skills. Rather, you should ask yourself some tough questions so that you can get some real answers and then do not hesitate to apply that wisdom to your parenting skills.

"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Stay strong in the faith. Do not become weary in well doing. Continue to pray to God, but do not just utter requests to Him as if He is a genie. Rather, pray and listen so that you may live according to His will. All things work together for the good of those who love Him. If you truly love God, then everything, including this situation, have to work together for your good.

Also, keep in mind that even your child has her own mind and you cannot control it; not even with the all the riches and servants in the world.

Talking can help you cope with this. Prayer can see your through it. But only action inspired by faith can get you out of it.

tourist · Mar 20, 2015

I only had one child, a daughter, and you have 4 of them! I think that kids just reach a certain age and they start to rebel to show how unique and grown up they are. Perhaps this is what is going on in your situation. This is not a reflection of you as a mother.

Is your children's father in the home? This cannot all fall just on yourself. Looks like right now you are becoming overwhelmed. You are right to worry about your daughter's salvation but the only thing that you can do is to pray about this and give this over to God.

From what you have described about yourself you seem like a good Christian parent to me.

Perhaps God has steered you to this site for a respite of the hard situation that you find yourself in. Remember, God is always with you and you are not alone in the struggle. Welcome to CC.

JesusLives · Mar 20, 2015

So sorry to hear that your daughter has been leaving home and is currently out and as a mom I know you are worried about her. I liked post #2 as there were good questions asked. I never had a problem with a runaway child, but as a kid I know there were times I wanted to run away, but I wanted to run away to go home not from it. The place where I was staying was too strict there were so many rules I felt smothered, but I was a smart kid and knew I needed money to run away and I never had enough to get me from Tennessee where I was back to Indiana where my dad was. So I never did it but I sure thought about it more than once.....

Kids just want to be loved and feel safe and secure and I don't know your family situation or what the rules of the house are in your family. I don't know if it is original parents or if a step parent is involved or if you are a single mother so it is a lot harder to try and give good advice not that you really asked for it. I can only tell you what made me want to run away in the situation I was in....

Praying that your daughter will return home and if so you may want to consider family counseling to actually find out what the problems are and why she is running away.

I know that I also had responsibility of a couple of kids one time when friends went on an extended vacation and that the older girl was going to run away while they were gone and had gone to a neighbors house and was going to go from there to parts unknown. I went over to the neighbors house and talked with her and got her to agree to go to a shelter in town and stay there until my friends got back from their vacation the next day. At least I figured she was out of the house which is where she wanted to be but safe and secure and in a place I knew where she was at.

My friends returned and mom was mad as a hornet that I had done what I did, but I said she was going to run and was serious about it at least we know where she is and they had to go to mandated counseling....Well I was happy to take the anger my friend leveled at me because I felt I had made the best decision at the time. So these are my experiences with running away and I hope that this will help in some way. I do definitely recommend counseling though as problems can get worked out if they are worked on.....God bless and praying for a good resolution to this problem.

Eva1218 · Mar 20, 2015

My heart goes out to you during this time my prayers are with you, your daughter and family. During this time focus on GOD protecting her, speaking to her and guiding her. For whatever reasons she decided to leave home do not beat yourself up but be empowered by GOD for the enemy will bash and accuse you and will deter you from hearing GOD. Keep in your heart that your daughter will return home safe and unharmed. The thing I pray you do is prepare for her arrival what spirit will you have? Please do not beat her down with questions and accusations but welcome her back with loving arms that will help her and ears and heart that will hear her. In these trying days many frustrations are struggles not just for adults but children as well. Many children really just want to be heard and be given space to voice their opinion even if it does not seem logical to others. We as parents are to help our children be the best them not us they are to be. Many parents seem to raise their children to be like them when we are to guide them to be more like CHRIST and GOD HIMSELF will do that. We are to show by example not just by words. When encountering a rebellion spirit we must deal with it with the Power of GOD and speak to the spirit not damage the person.

Things that might help find where your daughter may be:
-check home computer to see who she has been in contact with.

-if she has a phone you can check it and even go to the phone service store to review her contacts, texts etc.

-look in her room for missing clothing, shoes, personals, money, phone

-speak to her sisters, friends, school, etc..

Blessing!!!!!!!

jogoldie · Mar 20, 2015

You can go over the list again and again......you did the best you could.....there is no fault here....
I raised two daughters alone......did I make mistakes.......you betcha I did.....but I loved them....
I shared my faith with them.......I learned with them......as you well know all our children are so different......no two alike....you have three more who depend on you......surrender is not an option.....
give this to God.....give them all to God.....ask for gudience.....and peace......He will lead you....
Its not the fall that hurts you the most.......its the getting up...brushing off.....and claiming no defeat....
your tired......ask God for rest......then get back up and keep living day by day.......we are praying
for your daughter to return with Gods speed.......safe and unharmed.....with some lessons learned and
a new appreciation for your devotion....peace my sister.......pm me if you need anything.......jo

Angela53510 · Mar 20, 2015

I'm sorry to hear your daughter is running away all the time.

I just want you to know that God is still in her life. I ran away from home for good when I was 17. I did a lot of stupid things, but in the end, God saved me at age 26.

I never did go home, being a married woman, but I did reconcile with my parents, even though they had not changed.

I pray for your daughter's safety and the conviction of the Holy Spirit to bring her back to God.

As for the younger daughters, please do not do what my mom did to my sister, guilting her out that it would kill "her" (ie my mother!) if my sister made a wrong move. My sister is very disturbed to this day, and has no relationship with my mother. (40 years later!)

Instead, love these daughters more, do special things with them, trust them, and talk with those girls.

Praying for healing and reconciliation for your family.

RememberTheSabbathDay · Mar 20, 2015

godfavoredmemason said:

Welcome sis and I can totally identify with you. I went through a very rough time with my daughter. She has a mild case of Cerebal Palsy and she she couldn't understand why she was not normal compared to the other children. I tried to tell her no one is normal because of sin. She left home against my better judgment and got into drugs and alcohol. She would run the streets and I would go looking for her. She tried to commit suicide but I prayed like I never prayed before. I wanted to die too when I saw how much pain she was in and that I was helpless to help.

Now she is clean and sober, has a job and her own place..We are closer than we ever been before. Now she accepts her physical condition and feels she is better for it.She is a very talented young lady but she had to come to this understanding that she has lots to offer others. I was there anything she needed me. Just keep praying mom and God will take care of your child. It's harder when its your daughter.

tamrajh · Apr 20, 2015

We let our son borrow $1500 2 years ago with the promise of him paying us back in a month. It's now been two years and he hasn't given us a cent.
I lost my job (I was the bread winner) and my husband had to take a job making 1/2 of what he made before so we really need that money. I know the son has the money because he works overtime all the ime and he normally makes over $20/hour. He's made comments about this being the most money he's ever made but every time we have asked him about the money he's always gt an excuse.
Tonight I sent him a text saying he was going to start paying $100 a month startig May 1. Did he want our account number to deposit it or should we go pick it up. Of course I got no answer but now I'm feeling all anxious and nervous because he's such a liar i'm sure he's going to start something with his dad.
did i do something wrong?

Kaycie · Apr 20, 2015

We are to plant the seeds of love and truth, and to water them. But the growth is between God and the plant. We can't pull, and tug, and yank on a flower to force it to bloom and grow. It has to be their decision, free will is given to us all. Keep the door open even if she locks hers by disowning you for now. She's like the prodigal son. Prayer is powerful and effective, but only if it is God's will- and free will is God's will. But God can work behind the scenes and create a situation to happen that could influence her, and show her the contrast between a loving home and a harsh world. The prodigal son returned home humbled after he hit rock bottom. As far as your other daughters, get as much scripture in them as you can, while you can. that way God can speak to their consciences through their memory of the scriptures.

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family issues

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