Forgiveness...being used against you

[Dino246]

Have you had someone who betrayed you in some way (e.g., lie, cheat, steal, whatever, etc.) and doesn't appear too remorseful, and then says you should forgive because that's the Christian thing to do? It's like they are the ones who sinned, but now they turned the table around and put the focus on you, as if you don't forgive you are the bad person. And, usually these people believe forgiveness means a free pass with no consequences.

What are your thoughts on these situations and how should they be handled?

In a sense, the other person is correct: we as Christians are called to forgive.

However, we are not called to be doormats.

Forgiveness is releasing judgment and consequences to God. It is foregoing vengeance, resentment, and grudges in favour of embracing Christ's forgiveness toward us. It is not pretending that the offense never occurred. All sin has consequences, and we don't need to surrender our boundaries when we surrender offenses.

To a person who tries to twist forgiveness as you described, I might respond that while I have forgiven them, I am under no obligation to continue the relationship. That might lodge in their throat enough to bring a change in their heart. If not, actually removing yourself from them will save you further problems.

 

[Lanolin]

Have you had someone who betrayed you in some way (e.g., lie, cheat, steal, whatever, etc.) and doesn't appear too remorseful, and then says you should forgive because that's the Christian thing to do? It's like they are the ones who sinned, but now they turned the table around and put the focus on you, as if you don't forgive you are the bad person. And, usually these people believe forgiveness means a free pass with no consequences.

What are your thoughts on these situations and how should they be handled?

? if they repented and asked for forgiveness, them forgive them

I havent come across anyone whos been like this whos forced forgiveness. But you can say if you can show me you are sorry (by giving back what you stole, telling the truth, owning up to what you did or making amends in some way) you can say then I will forgive you and speak to you again.