hard situation, what god want me to do ?

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damombomb

Senior Member
Feb 27, 2011
3,801
68
48
#21
I would say get her to move with you to Italy after reading your story.
 
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filma

Guest
#22
Can't believe, this guy said he wont ever let her go anywhere, and she believes that under god its not right to run away. He is the biological father and he wants to be on the daily life of the baby.
This is crazy because he is not thinking at all at the future of the baby and when he will understand that she wont stay with him he might get mad and angry.
I would let her go if this is the right thing to do , but to honest to you guys i really dont know what i am suppose to do ?!
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#23
You guys really believe that a one night date getting a woman pregnant makes you a father ?
i think that she was totally wrong sleeping with him and she will hold that pain forever, but should the right thing to do its to let her go with him while they almost have 0 % to makes things work???
i will let her go if God wants that from me, i just believe the baby should be the priority, thats all.
Well, actually, apparently this time they weren't sleeping that night and he did become a father, so yes, it makes HIM a father. That's basic biology. So, now you think he has no business raising his child or even being around his child? I have no idea what he believes about God, but I'm less and less convinced in what you believe in God. You're still trying to convince us what's right to do in this instead of finding out about God.

Is the other guy a good father? Who knows, but he IS the father!

You, on the other hand, haven't gone with a single thing any of us have said, so why ask? Worse yet, you haven't taken it to God, (which was my first suggestion), so why ask?
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#24
Can't believe, this guy said he wont ever let her go anywhere, and she believes that under god its not right to run away. He is the biological father and he wants to be on the daily life of the baby.
This is crazy because he is not thinking at all at the future of the baby and when he will understand that she wont stay with him he might get mad and angry.
I would let her go if this is the right thing to do , but to honest to you guys i really dont know what i am suppose to do ?!
Answered a while ago --
God has the better view, so why ask others? What does his word say to you? That's what he says to you.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#25
I would say get her to move with you to Italy after reading your story.
So, if you had a child with a man from Italy, it would be okay if he took the child to Italy to live with an old flame?

The mother is American. The father is American. Why do you think it's okay if one leaves to live in Italy now? Because you hear the story another lover?
 
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MyAll4Love

Guest
#26
It looks to me like you got a ticket out now and not later. You think this is bad? how much worse if this is not meant to be and you keep pursuing it only to bring more pain through another divorce. Not to be negative but you could be dragging this out only to bring more pain to both children and any future children. If you stepped away and gave yourself to the Lord to become whole and she did the same then maybe the future would bring you two back together but right now it really looks like you need to go your own ways and become whole in the Lord.
 
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filma

Guest
#27
Ok got it , i guess you all guys have a better view on that situation, thanks for all yours replies.
God bless you all.

I will just pray and pray and hopefully they will be happy together. There is nothing i am suppose to do beside let them try to make things work.
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#28
Ok got it , i guess you all guys have a better view on that situation, thanks for all yours replies.
God bless you all.

I will just pray and pray and hopefully they will be happy together. There is nothing i am suppose to do beside let them try to make things work.
You're not listening. Take it to God. Yes, pray, BUT ALSO read his Word. Read the Bible on topics like marriage, family, relationships. Very few have told you what to do EXCEPT take it to God, and yet you're still taking our not-advice as to do-nothing. No one gave you that advice. Absolutely no one.

Let's try this another way, have you ever sought God's will by searching his word before? It's okay if the answer is no. That would explain a lot right there. If you don't know how, how do you do it? Right?

So let's start there -- do you know how to search the Bible for answers? If you don't, I'll give you some lessons how.

Because this honestly never should have been us giving you advice on the situation. We're truly saying God can tell you what to do. And this isn't a passive thing. You've got only a few months to find GOD's answer for you. I can help teach you how to do that without telling you what God will tell you your answer is, if you need that kind of help. Do you?

My problem here might well be I'm assuming you have skills you don't yet have. If you have absolutely no idea how to search God's word for your answers, you're only other choice would be read the entire Bible and catch all the answers for this situation in one big jump. I've been reading and/or studying it for decades and still can't do that. I'd like to think I'm not dumber (or smarter) than any other believer, but there is a way to learn what God has to say in his word about any relevant topic. Honest. If you don't know how, I will give you the how-tos to do that (And hopefully others will too.)
 

TheAppler

Junior Member
Mar 24, 2015
10
0
1
#29
Re:

If you have hate and or dislike for this man you should remove it from your heart. He wants to make a family with your girlfriend and his kid but its up to your girlfriend if she wants to do that. You can still marry this girl and raise the child all the while the other man is in the picture, many people do this. If you love her and she loves you get married and go on. You must keep the other guy apart of his kids life though as he deserves to be apart of his childs life.
 
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MyAll4Love

Guest
#30
I should explain where I was coming from, I got married the first time to someone God did not chose for me but I ignored others telling me to not marry him, he had just gotten another girl pregnant but it was only a one night stand. I never had children yet so I put more thought into my own feelings. They never ended up together but that never made him the right one for me and after having our own child we divorced a few years later and my son is now 17 and hurt by divorce even though we split when he was 2 1/2. Then when my son was 8 I got tired of waiting for the right one and was clearly not walking with the Lord and married an unbeliever and had 3 children with him and now I'm close to another divorce eventually if things don't drastically change. Of course I would never change what happened cause I couldn't imagine life without my darling special children but the consequences on them are just not fair. I am sorry for not explaining where I come from but I hope you would read this now and receive it in love and understand this is my perspective. Hind sight is always 20/20 right? People tried to tell me too.
 
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filma

Guest
#31
Obviously i did not have the Lord on me in the past and i am still looking for him , that's why i was trying to get some help from most of you guys who have the chance to walk in life with Him.
I guess the right thing to do it's to pray and let God to make it happens for them, there is nothing i could do.
Thanks again everybody, i am just a devastated from a situation a really sad from my sins.
Good bless
 
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missy2014

Guest
#32
God says we will come to those who want him and will cast NO ONE out in his Word he is the Word just run to him now before things get crazy find him while he may be found- also in his word things are gonna get crazy in this world real soon we re not lucky you are fortunate and by grace Jesus calls you to walk with him not just everyone but you dont think like that anymore God loves you and I believe his love reaching out to you if you want him your his forever dont worry about I've done horrible things in my life but im really looking forward to eternity and now its wonderful to serve the lord he is so merciful and gracious and loving towards you filma just obey and love him back thats what has changed my life even today is his love PRaise the mighty Lord!
 
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missy2014

Guest
#33
heres another thing you feel God doesnt love u and unworthy - based on you said think of him now on the Cross giving himself up totally for you for my sin for your sin and lovingly looking into your eyes he loves you even at the Cross which was suffering we cannot fully understand youre loved! and he delights in you sooo much dont worry about what youve done what others say what mattters most is his love for you 1 john 4:10 and what he thinks of you is most important
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#34
Obviously i did not have the Lord on me in the past and i am still looking for him , that's why i was trying to get some help from most of you guys who have the chance to walk in life with Him.
I guess the right thing to do it's to pray and let God to make it happens for them, there is nothing i could do.
Thanks again everybody, i am just a devastated from a situation a really sad from my sins.
Good bless
So you're answer is to tell God what to do? That doesn't work either. God will do what God will do. You're merely walking it on your own. Whenever you finally realize that doesn't work, then come to God and beg him to deliver you from you into his hands.
 
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filma

Guest
#35
I would never even dare to tell God what to do, i can be lost but not at this point.
I guess i did express myself wrong, just wanna say that everybody is totally on the Lord's hands
 
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Ugly

Guest
#36
You guys really believe that a one night date getting a woman pregnant makes you a father ?
i think that she was totally wrong sleeping with him and she will hold that pain forever, but should the right thing to do its to let her go with him while they almost have 0 % to makes things work???
i will let her go if God wants that from me, i just believe the baby should be the priority, thats all.
Yes, he is the father. The way a child is conceived has no bearing on that Fact that if either biological parent wants to be involved in that child's life then they have that right, unless they are a threat to the child in some way.
You really believe you are more of a father to that child, despite having Nothing at all to do with it's conception? If not you, and not the person who impregnated the woman, then who? This isn't baby Jesus. Your gf got pregnant and the man that did it is a father, no matter how much you dislike the idea or it disrupts your plans.
Your gf made choices, choices have consequences. These are the consequences she made when she ran off and jumped in bed with someone she wasn't even serious about. And, technically, that decision has nothing to do with you. Would you still suggest that man wasn't the child's father if you didn't want to marry the mother?
I don't think it's wise, nor required, that she is supposed to run off and marry some stranger. Many Christians think this is the Christian thing to do, despite there being nothing in the bible to support this notion. And in fact it often has a high chance of the marriage failing when it comes together under such circumstances.
But she made her choice, now she, and anyone she gets involved with, has to live with what she did. And in this case that would be you. If she can't leave the country then you go to her. Or give her up, regardless of whether she marries the other guy or not. If she's not happy with her options then hopefully next time she has a major decision to make she'll think it through more.
 

tjogs

Senior Member
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#37
Is your girlfriend saved? If yes then that's great and if not I think the only thing you can do for her (and trough her to the child) is helping to find and know Lord and be saved.
If your girlfriend marries this man,don't involve yourself to their relationship or become a temptation. Just learn to know God better so you AND your girlfriend would be the light in this world for those who have lost it.
 
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filma

Guest
#38
I totally agree with you, that's why i will let her go with him and i won't be involve at all.
Hopefully they will be happy and raise the baby in the best way.