Looks like that is your only option, and the sooner the better. But you must also ask yourself if you were willing to let things slide rather than get really serious about this matter to begin with. For example "who said he converted to Christian". Well did you ask him what it means to be a Christian, and how exactly he became one before you even got serious, let alone married?
Help. Married a Muslim who lied about it.
- Thread starter Karchani
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Dear Karchani,
I can certainly understand your concern and am praying for wisdom for you in this. You are married, and the Lord may very well use you to bring him to complete understanding of what Christianity is and soften his heart toward the Lord and toward you as you serve him in love. As long as he wishes to stay married and is not harming you, it might be best for you both if you stay together. I am unequally yoked over 30 yrs and totally get where you come from but I do know so many who have left the marriage hoping for a better future and relationship w someone else but the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. If a person were in an abusive relationship, I would say get out and seek counseling but if not, I would suggest they keep working at the marriage and be that Godly example. Trust the Lord to guide you since you are the one in the marriage. Your husband did not tell you the truth and you married him, if you see it will be a habit, and deception is a constant, it might be prudent at least to wait for children if you decide to stay. It is a tough thing to live with someone who not only believes differently but also hid that from you and even more with it being a religion that is not tolerant of other beliefs. It will be a tough road either way, whether you stay or not, pray constantly as I'm sure you are and a wise man named Solomon once said "Without counsel plans go wrong: but in the multitude of counselors they are established." Proverbs 15:22.
Seek wise counsel, trust the Lord to give you direction thru their words, God's word and peace.
I can certainly understand your concern and am praying for wisdom for you in this. You are married, and the Lord may very well use you to bring him to complete understanding of what Christianity is and soften his heart toward the Lord and toward you as you serve him in love. As long as he wishes to stay married and is not harming you, it might be best for you both if you stay together. I am unequally yoked over 30 yrs and totally get where you come from but I do know so many who have left the marriage hoping for a better future and relationship w someone else but the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. If a person were in an abusive relationship, I would say get out and seek counseling but if not, I would suggest they keep working at the marriage and be that Godly example. Trust the Lord to guide you since you are the one in the marriage. Your husband did not tell you the truth and you married him, if you see it will be a habit, and deception is a constant, it might be prudent at least to wait for children if you decide to stay. It is a tough thing to live with someone who not only believes differently but also hid that from you and even more with it being a religion that is not tolerant of other beliefs. It will be a tough road either way, whether you stay or not, pray constantly as I'm sure you are and a wise man named Solomon once said "Without counsel plans go wrong: but in the multitude of counselors they are established." Proverbs 15:22.
Seek wise counsel, trust the Lord to give you direction thru their words, God's word and peace.
Do you love him? No one asked that! Or, did you love him before you found out he was a secret Muslim?
The Bible says to stay with an unbeliever, unless he doesn't want you, so he will be converted!
"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is happy to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will bring your husband to salvation? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will bring your wife to salvation!" 1 Cor 7:13-15
I realize he lied and deceived you, and the context of these verses is a married couple who were unsaved, then one got saved, but the other did not. Still, you need to figure this in your decision.
Further, is he mistreating you in other ways? With holding finances, keeping you from going out, verbally, sexually or physically abiding you? That would also be grounds for leaving him. Many Muslim men are very entitled, which can result in abuse of the marriage partner.
I would love to hear the answers to these questions, as we certainly don't have the whole picture. I can't imagine being in a marriage where the foundation is deception and lies. On the other hand, you do need to consider what God's will is for your marriage.
The Bible says to stay with an unbeliever, unless he doesn't want you, so he will be converted!
"And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is happy to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified because of the wife, and the unbelieving wife because of her husband. Otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever wants a divorce, let it take place. In these circumstances the brother or sister is not bound. God has called you in peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will bring your husband to salvation? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will bring your wife to salvation!" 1 Cor 7:13-15
I realize he lied and deceived you, and the context of these verses is a married couple who were unsaved, then one got saved, but the other did not. Still, you need to figure this in your decision.
Further, is he mistreating you in other ways? With holding finances, keeping you from going out, verbally, sexually or physically abiding you? That would also be grounds for leaving him. Many Muslim men are very entitled, which can result in abuse of the marriage partner.
I would love to hear the answers to these questions, as we certainly don't have the whole picture. I can't imagine being in a marriage where the foundation is deception and lies. On the other hand, you do need to consider what God's will is for your marriage.
Not sure if this question has any bearing on the situation, but was he a foreigner so that by marrying you, he could a green card status to stay in the States? That "I do not want to lose you" may be genuine for another reason than what you think.
Divorce Issues for a U.S. Immigrant or Permanent Resident - AllLaw.com
But of course, if he did not get a green card status by way of marrying you, then what you had originally thought as genuine, must be true.
As for the situation; God must see the marriage as binding when recollecting that O.T. story about Jacob being tricked into marrying Leah when it was the hand of Rachel he was wanting to marry. ( This was before Israel became a nation when God's commandments were handed down where no one was allowed to have more than one wife. )
You would think by deception, Jacob would not consider that "joining" to Leah by, counted as a marriage, but he seemed to.
I do not know if that is applicable to you or not, but....
Paul addressed what to do when married to an unbeliever... but do take note; this is by permission from the Lord that he is saying this and not by commandment.
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]12 [/SUP]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [SUP]13 [/SUP]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. [SUP]14 [/SUP]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [SUP]15 [/SUP]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. [SUP]16 [/SUP]For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? [SUP]17 [/SUP]But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Then this was written to wives to husbands that obey not the word.
1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [SUP]2 [/SUP]While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [SUP]3 [/SUP]Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [SUP]4 [/SUP]But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [SUP]5 [/SUP]For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [SUP]6 [/SUP]Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Anyway, let the Lord Jesus Christ be your Guide on the matter as you can ascertain & discern by Him what his intentions are if they be genuine as towards you as his wife is concern and whether the Lord is leading you to stay married to him since you seem to have a conviction of not wanting to have children by him. That is the whole point of marriage is to build a family.
So if you are adamant not to have children by him, because you want them to grow in the Lord to believe in Him, then the Lord may be leading you to get a divorce.
And since he went to church with you and all that....he can be subjected to correction and if not repenting, then the church has to consider not only excommunication, but a divorce.
Matthew 18:[SUP]11 [/SUP]For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. [SUP]12 [/SUP]How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? [SUP]13 [/SUP]And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. [SUP]14 [/SUP]Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. [SUP]15 [/SUP]Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. [SUP]16 [/SUP]But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. [SUP]17 [/SUP]And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. [SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. [SUP]19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. [SUP]20 [/SUP]For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
If you can find a former muslim(s) turned Christian that explains why he or she or they had left Islam, Jesus may enable him to address his lack of assurance in the religion he is in, and the Father may reveal His Son to him for the Good News He is.
[video=youtube;2htOWOF4gqs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2htOWOF4gqs[/video]
Unless, of course, you know or found out that he got a green card for marrying you, then him being genuine should be suspect, and you need not go through all of that to figure out whether to divorce him or not.
Divorce Issues for a U.S. Immigrant or Permanent Resident - AllLaw.com
But of course, if he did not get a green card status by way of marrying you, then what you had originally thought as genuine, must be true.
As for the situation; God must see the marriage as binding when recollecting that O.T. story about Jacob being tricked into marrying Leah when it was the hand of Rachel he was wanting to marry. ( This was before Israel became a nation when God's commandments were handed down where no one was allowed to have more than one wife. )
You would think by deception, Jacob would not consider that "joining" to Leah by, counted as a marriage, but he seemed to.
I do not know if that is applicable to you or not, but....
Paul addressed what to do when married to an unbeliever... but do take note; this is by permission from the Lord that he is saying this and not by commandment.
1 Corinthians 7:[SUP]12 [/SUP]But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. [SUP]13 [/SUP]And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. [SUP]14 [/SUP]For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. [SUP]15 [/SUP]But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. [SUP]16 [/SUP]For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? [SUP]17 [/SUP]But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.
Then this was written to wives to husbands that obey not the word.
1 Peter 3:1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; [SUP]2 [/SUP]While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. [SUP]3 [/SUP]Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; [SUP]4 [/SUP]But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. [SUP]5 [/SUP]For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: [SUP]6 [/SUP]Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
Anyway, let the Lord Jesus Christ be your Guide on the matter as you can ascertain & discern by Him what his intentions are if they be genuine as towards you as his wife is concern and whether the Lord is leading you to stay married to him since you seem to have a conviction of not wanting to have children by him. That is the whole point of marriage is to build a family.
So if you are adamant not to have children by him, because you want them to grow in the Lord to believe in Him, then the Lord may be leading you to get a divorce.
And since he went to church with you and all that....he can be subjected to correction and if not repenting, then the church has to consider not only excommunication, but a divorce.
Matthew 18:[SUP]11 [/SUP]For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost. [SUP]12 [/SUP]How think ye? if a man have an hundred sheep, and one of them be gone astray, doth he not leave the ninety and nine, and goeth into the mountains, and seeketh that which is gone astray? [SUP]13 [/SUP]And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray. [SUP]14 [/SUP]Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish. [SUP]15 [/SUP]Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. [SUP]16 [/SUP]But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. [SUP]17 [/SUP]And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. [SUP]18 [/SUP]Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. [SUP]19 [/SUP]Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. [SUP]20 [/SUP]For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
If you can find a former muslim(s) turned Christian that explains why he or she or they had left Islam, Jesus may enable him to address his lack of assurance in the religion he is in, and the Father may reveal His Son to him for the Good News He is.
[video=youtube;2htOWOF4gqs]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2htOWOF4gqs[/video]
Unless, of course, you know or found out that he got a green card for marrying you, then him being genuine should be suspect, and you need not go through all of that to figure out whether to divorce him or not.