Help

[liz3]

I recently found out my husband had been texting with a female coworker everyday since he arrived to work untill he was on his way home. He would delete all of the messages so I would not see them. I feel like he cheated on me....or am I over reacting. Since then somethings have gotten better but I dont trust him and at times still feel rejected by him and the thought of seeking attention somewhere else has crossed my mind but I know it would be very wrong.

 

[wisebeardman]

I would have a hard time trusting him. I have to question if he is cheating with the coworker.

I wouldnt cheat period. If I found out someone was cheating on me. me personally id walk out the door.

 

[liz3]

He has admitted to have had feeling for her but according to him these feelings only lasted a few weeks but continued to text her for6 more months and only stopped because I found out.
As for me cheatingI wouldn't either just because of my personal convictions but it has crossed my mind.

 

[wisebeardman]

he only stopped cause he got caught.

honestly I dont think I could ever trust anyone who cheated. if they did it once good chance they will do it again.

 

[Lucy68]

So sorry you're going through this! It is very hurtful....take that hurt to the Lord for healing. We have to be very careful how we deal with our hurt because it can morph into some very unpleasant things. Like resentment will become hatred....or we sometimes react to hurt by taking revenge (tit for tat). It's very good that you're fighting those temptations to seek attention elsewhere. Nothing good will come out of it. Go to the Lord for guidance and comfort.

Would your husband agree to counseling? Sometimes our marriage relationship needs a wake-up call and this is a good way to open up the communication.

Praying for you both....wisdom and guidance.

 

[liz3]

Thank you Lucy68. We have gone to counseling and it helped but we had to stop going. We have our good days but then we have our bad days and I remember everything and it gets me upset and want nothing to do with him. I know it a process I just didnt expect it to be this hard.

 

[Ndwhitney]

This sounds very painful, I'm so sorry. God sees you in this place and cares for you. The best place to seek love and acceptance is in His presence, and the best part, you never have to feel guilty. You're feelings are valid, your trust has been broken and that takes time to heal. However, I wouldn't rush into thoughts of giving up or leaving your husband, even if he did cheat on you, that is a very western and non biblical way of thinking. Marriage is sacred before God and it is His desire that we honor those vows, even if our spouse did not. I would pray that you would try everything before even considering leaving him. God can heal any marriage. Try communicating with him, finding out what went wrong: why he strayed. Create boundaries together to protect your marriage, on both ends. Pray together, just doing that literally increases your chances for success. Consider buying, reading, and implementing the love dare (book, created from the movie fireproof). One thing I would really recommend is that you both read (ASAP) the five love languages, this is an amazing book that opened my eyes on how to love my husband and also be loved in return. If you need the author name let me know but the book is famous, Amazon has it, or you should be able to google it easily. God bless you!

 

[Lucy68]

I don't think any of us really know how hard being Christ-like can be until we're actually in a situation where we have put on Christ-clothes and act like Him . It is very hard...but very pleasing to our Father when we try. The best part is that the Holy Spirit will help us in this worthwhile endeavor. Don't give up!