How do formerly abused people understand God's love?

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virgie

Guest
#1
#1
Any advice here is appreciated.

How does one who was abused as a child come to understand God's love? Assume the child was told by his/her abusive parents that they WERE loved, but the parents continued to be cruel, abuse, and humiliate the child. As adults, how do we picture and imagine God's love in an accurate way, when parents seemed to misrepresent God's love?

Again, thanks for any and all advice.
 
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Darah

Guest
#2
#2
I think you can feel Gods love by thinking about that what you really like about life. Like for example the sun, good food or music just anything. And then think about how God has made this. For his pleasure, but for our pleasure too. Because he loves us. Just my idea, and it might be helpful. It definitely works for me :D.
 
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virgie

Guest
#3
#3
I love that. That's great. Thank you.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#4
#4
As adults we try to work out those broken relationships from childhood by choosing people who treat us the way our parents did....as if we are trying to right a wrong. A good counseler can help you unravel that and help you pick people who will accept you and nurture you for you. If you don't learn this you will stay stuck in relationships that wound you further.
 
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virgie

Guest
#5
#5
Ty Sirk. Interesting point. I wish there was a way to "like" posts.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#6
#6
I think it happens all the time with kids. We are like dogs when are young, we poop and pee on the floor but ultimately all we want to do is please our parents. The parents of the 70's and 80's were self absorbed and didn't know how to love us... How to instill security in us. Instead the beat us down with behavioral control tactics and crushed our spirits.
 
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virgie

Guest
#7
#7
Um did we grow up in the same house? Lol.

It just seems like when things go wrong, it's because God is angry at some sin we don't know about. Hours can be spent searching for what it is. It's had to believe God isn't causing our suffering, and even harder to believe He doesn't want us to suffer.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#8
#8
Then we go on to struggle with addiction and all kinds of things. It has a purpose though. God doesn't really have use for big strong pillars. He wants the weak so that He can reveal himself through that.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#9
#9
Sometimes a trip down memory lane can help you cone to terms with things. Do you have anyone who could shed some light for you on your early years? It might help to know what your parents struggled with and how you were cared for as an infant. Those first two years are crucial as to how you will relate to the world as an adult.
 
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jjtj22

Guest
#10
#10
My real father is on marriage #7 at last count 11 years ago was extremely abusive and claims Christ. He was abusive to me and several girl cousins and it was swept under the rug by the family. My mother follows the path of least resistance, always, in all things.

I struggled alot in my teens and early twenties. Not having any parental protection left me exposed to predators eroding further my trust in people. I used to think men were monsters always looking for a victim. I believed I was suppose to prevent bad things from happening to me. That wore me out so I decide to give God a try. It was then I brushed up against the love of the Father. So amazingly beautiful everything else pales.

He has spent 10 years healing my spirit and twisted views. I now try to trust God to handle my life. I now have so much joy and peace. People that meet me now think I have always lived a charmed life because I "have no problems" lol! I don't know why He loves me like He does but I do know He deserves all the love and admiration I can give him.

I love the 27th Psalm.
 
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virgie

Guest
#11
#11
Thank you. I can't tell you how encouraging it is to know that even when it was never modeled for you, somehow, some way you were able to feel the love of a Holy Father. God bless you for sharing, and thank you again.
 
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virgie

Guest
#12
#12
@Sirk Thank you for the suggestion. I don't know that I have anyone in my family that would be able to admit to anything negative. But I do have some people outside the family I can turn to. Thank you again for the ideas.
 
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Sirk

Guest
#13
#13
You bet. Keep your chin up virgie. If you can look at not like outing anyone but just to gain knowledge. Some of our little baby souls got wounded and we need to as adults learn to nurture that little person we once were and in many ways still are.
 
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jlm47

Guest
#14
#14
virgie said:
Any advice here is appreciated.

How does one who was abused as a child come to understand God's love? Assume the child was told by his/her abusive parents that they WERE loved, but the parents continued to be cruel, abuse, and humiliate the child. As adults, how do we picture and imagine God's love in an accurate way, when parents seemed to misrepresent God's love?

Again, thanks for any and all advice.
Click to expand...
We understand His love because he himself was abused and knows our pain and understands us. God is like the ultimate father, brother, friend, husband anyone of us could ask for! The gospel is the perfect image of Gods everlasting love. And sometimes it does feel like He's punishing us but we have to remember he chastens whom he loves and it might not be punishment for son but to help us recognize the state of our faith and trust in him. :) Have a blessed day -Jaime
 
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Rockeey

Guest
#15
#15
I think that by separating the two for starters. God wasn't in my parents lives so they were in the world. I came to know real love when I was told how much God loved me. Up till then I thought I was unlovable. I began to see how all I was told as a child was a lie. I wasn't useless I was actually very helpful. I wasn't dumb I was actually very smart and talented. You begin to see yourself the way that God see's you as you read his word. You begin to see how your parents should have seen you, when you read his word. The Bible say's that children are like precious jewels that God lends us. That is how your parents should have seen you. It was their mistake not to see you this way and they missed out. But God loves us so much, he knows how many hairs are on our head. He has them counted. It's the most amazing love. A love so great that he suffered and died for us. I hope you can see how precious you are in God's eyes. It's hard to come from ungodly parents and from a abusive childhood. But all things are past behold he makes all things new and you know what, as his daughter you must learn from your father now. Now as a mother, I try to forget the attitude and the ways that I learned growing up and I try to learn God's way of being.

Virgie, I hope this helps and may God bless you always:) Lot's of Love sister:)
 
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