Husbands in charge.

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Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#41
With respect to the "submission" issue, whenever this subject comes up, I always point out that husbands have a pretty heavy responsibility to earn that submission. The Scripture is quoted above, so I won't repeat it here, but husbands are ordered to love, cherish and protect their wives. I have always believed that this aspect comes first; before "submission". As the saying goes, "respect cannot be demanded; it must be commanded." I like this. It is a huge responsibility to be the head of the home, the cool part is, when Scott has to make what he thinks is a important decision, he always asks what I think and how Id feel. I do like-wise, It is give and take and respect is earned.

Well said! :)
 
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saintnickk

Guest
#42
In chargee comes responsibilities. I believe the verse goes women abey your husband as the husband follows Christ, not either or. Christ died for the church, are we as men willing to die for our wives?
 
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syborg

Guest
#43
Things in my home are slightly awkward my wife has (by the admission of the elders) a rebellious feminist attitude borne out of mistreatment by men in younger years. This makes things tough. . even more so when she does not accept that I feel God is giving me direction as it flies in the face of her issues :(
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#44
wonder why no one talks about these Bible verses, it shows that the wife has authority over the man's body and the man has authority over his wife's and they are to love each other.....

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
New King James Version (NKJV)
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
 
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rainacorn

Guest
#45
wonder why no one talks about these Bible verses, it shows that the wife has authority over the man's body and the man has authority over his wife's and they are to love each other.....

1 Corinthians 7:3-5
New King James Version (NKJV)
3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
bom chikka wow wowwww
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#46
Well said, I was thinking about this relationship a few years ago.
The husband, in acceptig the final say, must also accept responcibuility for his word.
I began to consider how when God created us, He knew we would sin.
I thought about the scripture where it says,"I made you to be holy and pleasing in my sight."
God Our Father created us, knowing we would fail, because He also gave, out of love for us the freedom to choose or reject Him.
But God Our Father also took the responsibuility for His word.
By sending Jesus to take sin for us.
How great a love did God Our Father show, that in His great love, giving us the freedom to choose, but also taking responcibuility for His love.
Dont quote me, its just some thoughts on this.
But many say, why did God creat us knowing we would sin? He did so , but also gave us in Jesus forgivness and freedom from sin.
Seems this is what a husband does, make the dessision, but also provides for this dessision. :)

in Jesus, God bless.
pickles

I never thought about it this way...Good point!
 
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LaShae

Guest
#47
Very well spoken berrygurl.
 

Lucy68

Senior Member
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#48
Things in my home are slightly awkward my wife has (by the admission of the elders) a rebellious feminist attitude borne out of mistreatment by men in younger years. This makes things tough. . even more so when she does not accept that I feel God is giving me direction as it flies in the face of her issues :(

Yes, that can make home-life a challenge.

Also, some women have strong personalities and very strong wills; which makes the 'submit' part even harder. I think the husbands learn how to phrase things in such a way that they don't seem pushy.
 
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IrisHouse

Guest
#49
Marriage is equal, not one way or the other.
 
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Livn4Him

Guest
#50
The Bible calls husbands the "head" of the marriage. "Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord." I believe that husbands are in charge of the family. Several verses in the New Testament put men in charge of the family.
I really don't feel the lover here, Jonathan. Sarah did so out of LOVE and RESPECT for her husband [and] her Lord. Not becuse he lorded it over her....
I can guarentee you one thing, Jonathan; you stay with that atittude and you're going to be one miserable man, lol
I cannot say as I have ever been in a relationship with a truly God fearing woman, but I have sure seen a few. And believe me, brother; they're something to behold. Which is why I'm holding out. I have seen what being in a godly relationship is about and I want in...lol
Read the Bible in its [entirety] and you will see above all that what that refers to is accountability for her spiritual, mental, and over all well-being; as well as her judgement of God. When she does something with your knowledge that you do nothing to stop her, guess who takes the rap for it in God's eyes? The husband!
Jesus gave the perfect analogy of a married couple when He layed down His life for His bride-us; but we're to also do that for our earthly bride.

Joh 13:13-17
" Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."
(copied from eSword)

I [know] this is not speaking directly to spouses; however, it does apply....
There's a LOT to be said about being the 'head' of the household alright...I'm just glad that I have the understanding that it takes Two to be successful.
Her to be at my back and me to be at hers! And both of us on our knees giving thanks to [The] True and Living God....
 
N

Nalu

Guest
#51
Husbands should lead but in leading they should lead with respect. The word says for husbands to love thier wives as Christ love the church and gave himself for her. I think that in leading the husbands should find that to mean selfish love and putting his family first in everything and making the best possible decisions for them in love and respect to the point of death. If a man walks in the love of God and cares for his family wives will follow and love and respect will flow. Not to mention there is NOTHING more attractive in a man than one following after God. :) My hubs in not perfect but Iknow that no matter what I can trust him and not fear for my family. He will do everything best for us in his power and the rest is up to the Lord!!!
Hi BerryGurl, allow me to make one tiny modification, Husbands should have selfless love. Taking care of his Wife and family putting their needs ahead of his own. ( I know you meant to say selfless love, I am just joking with you).

Good post, well said.
 

pickles

Senior Member
Apr 20, 2009
14,479
182
63
#52
Marriage is equal, not one way or the other.
Im just using your post to refrance, :) not to say anything against you. :)

IrisHouse is correct though, marraige is equal.
The perpose of husband as head of family is not about Him being above the wife.
It is about wisdom given by God.
A final say, and the responcibuility, is simply the reason, as without this, chaos can be an issue.
The husband should as well listen to His wife with the same respect as to the church, this tells us that
God is bringing wisdom to the marraige through the wife.
Too often many see this teaching as about power or who is higher.
When the perpose of this is to bring an equality to the marraige and home.
take time to read all on this and ask for understanding in Jesus.
Im confidant that all will be seen as intended by God Our Father. :)

God bless.
pickles
 
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Stanelake

Guest
#53
There is a great difference between being the head and being the dictator. Often women confuse submitting for oppression(justifiably i guess) and men leading for dominating. Gods word is not incorrect but it is the interpretations that are biased by experiences and personal prejudices. Being the head means accountability, vision/foresight, protecting, grooming, shepherding all of which need love. Submitting means trusting, honoring, not blind obedience, supporting, encouraging, surrounding, among other things- once again all this needs love.
Love is the supreme leader. If the husband/wife is not motivated by love for the spouse and the family, damage is done and the family deteriorates from a unit to teams. I feel that the devil has used this as a means of breaking the family unit and undermining the future & potential of the church husband and wives lets pursue family matters prayerfully and not allow room for the evil one. "where envy and strife is every other evil thing is found"
:)
 
S

syborg

Guest
#54
Yes, that can make home-life a challenge.

Also, some women have strong personalities and very strong wills; which makes the 'submit' part even harder. I think the husbands learn how to phrase things in such a way that they don't seem pushy.
certainly a challenge.
 
A

AnandaHya

Guest
#55
I really don't feel the lover here, Jonathan. Sarah did so out of LOVE and RESPECT for her husband [and] her Lord. Not becuse he lorded it over her....
I can guarentee you one thing, Jonathan; you stay with that atittude and you're going to be one miserable man, lol
I cannot say as I have ever been in a relationship with a truly God fearing woman, but I have sure seen a few. And believe me, brother; they're something to behold. Which is why I'm holding out. I have seen what being in a godly relationship is about and I want in...lol
Read the Bible in its [entirety] and you will see above all that what that refers to is accountability for her spiritual, mental, and over all well-being; as well as her judgement of God. When she does something with your knowledge that you do nothing to stop her, guess who takes the rap for it in God's eyes? The husband!
Jesus gave the perfect analogy of a married couple when He layed down His life for His bride-us; but we're to also do that for our earthly bride.

Joh 13:13-17
" Ye call me Master and Lord: and ye say well; for so I am.
If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another's feet.
For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him. If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them."
(copied from eSword)

I [know] this is not speaking directly to spouses; however, it does apply....
There's a LOT to be said about being the 'head' of the household alright...I'm just glad that I have the understanding that it takes Two to be successful.
Her to be at my back and me to be at hers! And both of us on our knees giving thanks to [The] True and Living God....

I like that Bible verse. haha next time my husband says something about being in charge I can give him that verse and ask that he wash my feet. :) lol he'll get a laugh out it too :)
 
H

Honey12

Guest
#56
It's just a matter of different roles in marriage. The husband protects the family (taking charge/leading) while the wife cares for the family. No role is greater than the other.
 
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rainacorn

Guest
#57
Of course on Father's Day, our sermon was all about this :)

Our pastor said he was trying to be encouraging to husbands, but man oh man, I felt bad for the fellas by the time we got out of there.

God has placed A LOT of responsibility on the husbands. They are in charge of their family and are responsible not only for their safety and wellbeing, but their faith as well. Just look at all the times the Bible references the House of (man's name). It's not just your wife and kids... it's all the generations that follow.

I know in Christianity, we are not held responsible for the sins of our fathers, as they were in the OT. But do husbands still have a responsibility to make sure their family is on the right track for generations to come? The example my pastor used were grandparents who don't see it as their responsibility to make sure their grandkids are in church on Sundays. It's like once they are out of the house, it's out of your hands.

I know this message board skews really young, but what do you guys think? Do you feel like you belong to your grandfather's house? Do you feel like you're a part of a genealogy or even a member of a 'house'?
 
B

Blackson

Guest
#58
The Bible calls husbands the "head" of the marriage. "Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him lord." I believe that husbands are in charge of the family. Several verses in the New Testament put men in charge of the family.
We must also not forget the fact that it is not the head alone that makes the body. We are many members of the same body. i can wisely say that the head so much need the neck to be placed upon and turn it into the direction it so desires that it can successfully perform.
I may consider my wife to be the neck that carries the head and properly connects it to the whole body (family, including children and the dependents). Without the neck the head cannot be known as such. Husband becomes because there is someone called wife.
Respect for each others role in the family matters.