I'm losing my faith and about ready to walk out on my husband.. He hasn't changed, he still doesn't love me.. I'm only here because of custody and child support issues.. I feel used..I can't sleep, I'm depressed...I can't deal with the fact that I love him so much but he doesn't love me at all...I'm sick of it..why hasn't god answered my prayers ? And if he loves me then why won't he heal my heart??
Mad at god...
- Thread starter Jruiz
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U
Mad at God over what? Because He hasn't forced your husband against his will to give you what you want? Your husband is the one that changed. So why are you taking out on God what falls on your husbands shoulders?
And perhaps there is something to be learned from what you're going through, and God doesn't change it because the growth you will experience will be more valuable than just zapping you and making you better.
I make bad choices. I do, i wish i made better choices, but i don't. And sometimes i pray and beg for being protected from my choices and wonder why God doesn't intervene sooner, or even help me after more. But one thing i've learned is, each bad thing i've gone through, i've walked away with something from it. Just recently i had my own heart broken, but despite the hurt, i learned about myself, i grew as a person and am better off now, in many ways, than i was before the hurt. I'm still healing from the hurt, but i'm also grateful for the lessons and growth. I walked away with something good out of a bad thing. Maybe this is what God has in store for you. Refining you in the fire.
Not that God Wants you to go through this. I've no doubt He would rather your marriage reconcile, but if it cannot, then He has to make the best of things for you. And sometimes that means we don't do things the easy way.
I've not been married and i don't full know what you're going through, but i know how you feel. I've felt those same types of feelings many times throughout my life. Its difficult to see any good now or in the future when you're in the midst of the storm. But that's what faith is. Trusting that there is an end to the darkness and something better that you can't see. Sometimes we just have to hold on to that hope because that's all we have left.
And perhaps there is something to be learned from what you're going through, and God doesn't change it because the growth you will experience will be more valuable than just zapping you and making you better.
I make bad choices. I do, i wish i made better choices, but i don't. And sometimes i pray and beg for being protected from my choices and wonder why God doesn't intervene sooner, or even help me after more. But one thing i've learned is, each bad thing i've gone through, i've walked away with something from it. Just recently i had my own heart broken, but despite the hurt, i learned about myself, i grew as a person and am better off now, in many ways, than i was before the hurt. I'm still healing from the hurt, but i'm also grateful for the lessons and growth. I walked away with something good out of a bad thing. Maybe this is what God has in store for you. Refining you in the fire.
Not that God Wants you to go through this. I've no doubt He would rather your marriage reconcile, but if it cannot, then He has to make the best of things for you. And sometimes that means we don't do things the easy way.
I've not been married and i don't full know what you're going through, but i know how you feel. I've felt those same types of feelings many times throughout my life. Its difficult to see any good now or in the future when you're in the midst of the storm. But that's what faith is. Trusting that there is an end to the darkness and something better that you can't see. Sometimes we just have to hold on to that hope because that's all we have left.
It's okay to be angry, even at God. It's a normal part of grieving something you have lost. In your case, that might be a dream of what your future should have been, understood promises that were never fulfilled, or the loss of the type of husband you thought you were going to have. Just be honest with your feelings, take them [respectfully!] to the Lord in prayer. There were times in my divorce that I yelled my praying to God for a couple of hours while I was driving to my parents' house. Just keep seeking the Lord, even when it feels like he is using you for target practice (See Lamentations 3). Blessings and hugs to you, precious daughter of God.
Yes ugly.. I want god to give me what I want because its best for our 2 year old son..I want god to change my husbands heart and character...how long do I have to suffer?? I trust god but then reality of my husband hits me...my husband doesnt even deserve me.. I'm tired of getting treated so poorly..I wish god would give me wisdom so i know if i should stay or leave,so I can move on with my life...
this forum is not marriage therapy, maybe you are really young and do not understand that marriage is work, everyday. The facts show that marriage is generally a bad idea as most do not last. This is usually because both parties are not religious, or they were married for the wrong reasons.
You are married to him not god, you really need professional help to see if this can work.
You are married to him not god, you really need professional help to see if this can work.
I
It's hard to hear from God when you are at "wits end" frustrated and confused. God speaks to us in the still..small..voice..that requires you to be quiet. Try taking a walk and spending time in a quiet place, forget about your troubles. Open up the bible and read..he will minister to you, because he cares for you.1 Peter 5:7 Cast all of your anxiety on him because he cares for you!
It has been my experience that when it seems like God is not answering that either I'm not asking the right question on He is giving me an answer that I don't want or like.
Sometimes there are no easy answers or there are only answers that we find difficult and unpleasant.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Sometimes there are no easy answers or there are only answers that we find difficult and unpleasant.
For the cause of Christ
Roger
Sometimes God does say no, and sometimes he says not yet!
God does not exist so we will have a perfect life. He exists because he is the great I AM. We cannot demand, only ask in faith. And God is not a genie, who gives us three wishes so our dreams will come true. He is the sovereign Lord of all creation.
When God says no, you have some choices, you can keep on asking (this is very scriptural) or you can look for some new avenues, such as personal and marriage counseling.
As for changing people, God is very slow to do that. But you can change yourself. You sound like you are suffering from depression. Get some help for that, and then maybe you will be able to view your situation with new eyes.
I am sorry you sound so frustrated. I've been in that situation quite a few times myself. Wondering when my husband would change, or when things would be different. Instead of answering my prayers, God gave me a whole different set of requests and answers, much better than what I ever asked or dreamed of.
Praying you will be practical and take some steps to get help for yourself and your marriage.
God does not exist so we will have a perfect life. He exists because he is the great I AM. We cannot demand, only ask in faith. And God is not a genie, who gives us three wishes so our dreams will come true. He is the sovereign Lord of all creation.
When God says no, you have some choices, you can keep on asking (this is very scriptural) or you can look for some new avenues, such as personal and marriage counseling.
As for changing people, God is very slow to do that. But you can change yourself. You sound like you are suffering from depression. Get some help for that, and then maybe you will be able to view your situation with new eyes.
I am sorry you sound so frustrated. I've been in that situation quite a few times myself. Wondering when my husband would change, or when things would be different. Instead of answering my prayers, God gave me a whole different set of requests and answers, much better than what I ever asked or dreamed of.
Praying you will be practical and take some steps to get help for yourself and your marriage.
J
Is. 45 -
[SUP]5 [/SUP]I am the Lord, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
[SUP]6 [/SUP]so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
people may know there is none besides me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]I am the Lord, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
[SUP]6 [/SUP]so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
people may know there is none besides me.
I am the Lord, and there is no other.
T
Hello Jruiz
Through love in Christ I'll respond to this as best I can: You mentioned that "You're only there for the custody and child support" this is quite natural if you have nowhere else to go, in today's life and times unfortunately one requires this security. In the same breath you mentioned "He hasn't changed and he still doesn't love me"
You require love from your husband and you are praying to God that he puts love in his heart for you, right? The thing is that I don't see you mention that you Love your husband.
Perhaps you need to shift your focus slightly and instead of praying for God to change your husband - ask God to instil the love you once had for your husband... it's a long and dark road my friend, I've been there. As a couple my husband and I went through affairs, and we only stuck it out because of financial security. It took an assertive change on my part to change my focus, and instead of seeing fault in my husband, to find my own failures, rekindle the love I have for him. And I could only do that through God.
There is no easy answer here, but I really think you should try and find the love you once had, if you find that love, perhaps your husband will start to see a difference in your, and open up. IF not and he decides to leave... then rest assured that you can trust God for the best thing to happen.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
Through love in Christ I'll respond to this as best I can: You mentioned that "You're only there for the custody and child support" this is quite natural if you have nowhere else to go, in today's life and times unfortunately one requires this security. In the same breath you mentioned "He hasn't changed and he still doesn't love me"
You require love from your husband and you are praying to God that he puts love in his heart for you, right? The thing is that I don't see you mention that you Love your husband.
Perhaps you need to shift your focus slightly and instead of praying for God to change your husband - ask God to instil the love you once had for your husband... it's a long and dark road my friend, I've been there. As a couple my husband and I went through affairs, and we only stuck it out because of financial security. It took an assertive change on my part to change my focus, and instead of seeing fault in my husband, to find my own failures, rekindle the love I have for him. And I could only do that through God.
There is no easy answer here, but I really think you should try and find the love you once had, if you find that love, perhaps your husband will start to see a difference in your, and open up. IF not and he decides to leave... then rest assured that you can trust God for the best thing to happen.
1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
W
You know.. I can relate you you being angry at God over heart ache and emotional pain. I've been there... I found myself going to that place again last night actually.. but I guess all we can do is have faith that he knows what he's doing and no matter how broken and hopeless we feel... you just have to trust. Easier said than done, I know.. Today I find myself struggling to keep the faith.. but just hang in there with me... it will be okay...
God will not change a person against his or her will. The whole point of being transformed is to desire to be changed..until a person gets there it doesn't matter how many prayers someone else offers up. Those prayers can work to bring other people into his life, and present opportunities for learning but if he flat out rejects Christ, then that is his free will speaking.
We can't change or control other people, we can only control ourselves. How we react to something or someone is crucial to the work of the Holy Spirit. Resentment will squash this completely. Only when we are humble and open to the Lord's leading in our own lives will we be taught how to love like Christ loves. Forgiveness is a large part of that.
Have you considered marriage counseling? An objective third party can really help open up the communication and act like a referee. Are you attending church together? There may be help there that you are not tapping into. Be in the Word every day and work on your relationship with Christ. Even if your husband doesn't respond to this transforming power, you will be made new and improved
; your heart will be healed and the Holy Spirit will lead you into a full life. Hopefully, your husband will be attracted to this new life and will follow you .
Praying for you both...love, forgiveness, and openness to the Holy Spirit's work in your lives.
We can't change or control other people, we can only control ourselves. How we react to something or someone is crucial to the work of the Holy Spirit. Resentment will squash this completely. Only when we are humble and open to the Lord's leading in our own lives will we be taught how to love like Christ loves. Forgiveness is a large part of that.
Have you considered marriage counseling? An objective third party can really help open up the communication and act like a referee. Are you attending church together? There may be help there that you are not tapping into. Be in the Word every day and work on your relationship with Christ. Even if your husband doesn't respond to this transforming power, you will be made new and improved
; your heart will be healed and the Holy Spirit will lead you into a full life. Hopefully, your husband will be attracted to this new life and will follow you .Praying for you both...love, forgiveness, and openness to the Holy Spirit's work in your lives.
A
Ooopsie....I have to retract my "totally agree." I disagree with the above.
Thank God for the prayers of those believing in God to change hearts and minds. I've been the recipient of many of those kinds of prayers.
I guess I need to sssslllllloooowwwwww down and read carefully. I have gotten in the nasty habit of speed reading. Not good. Especially when I am tired.
Thank God for the prayers of those believing in God to change hearts and minds. I've been the recipient of many of those kinds of prayers.
I guess I need to sssslllllloooowwwwww down and read carefully. I have gotten in the nasty habit of speed reading. Not good. Especially when I am tired.
Sorry, I didn't mean that prayers don't make a difference in someone else's life. I meant to say, and I too should slow down and reread what I write before posting , that we can't control a person's response to those prayers. Of course we should keep making them, but we should not get discouraged and depressed and think that God isn't working. But He won't trample on free will; the ultimate choice is made in each person's inner holy of holies....where they can meet God personally and bend that reluctant knee, or not.
, that we can't control a person's response to those prayers. Of course we should keep making them, but we should not get discouraged and depressed and think that God isn't working. But He won't trample on free will; the ultimate choice is made in each person's inner holy of holies....where they can meet God personally and bend that reluctant knee, or not.