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You are a normal male with an interest in sex. You likely masturbate to compensate for the sex you're not having. Certain couples are more adventurous and have perhaps higher sex drives than others. This may explain why your wife enjoys other stimuli such as toys, different strokes for different folks. Yes we could find a scripture on masturbation and how it is wrong. The problem is the majority of views on here will be from married Christians who enjoy sex lives. Do you need counselling; will the counsellor be "too Christian" and direct you and your wife to lots of scriptures where masturbation is demonic or using toys for the female is evil. I would say that this is more than a possibility. The average Christian counsellor unless very broad minded is not likely to understand risk-taking or risqué personalities and therein sexual behaviour. Risk-taking is defined as being intimate where you both risk being caught. Risqué could mean role play or other adult activities.
If sex was made illegal and all Christian couples were forced to stop having sexual intercourse the likelihood is that they too would compensate in other ways including masturbation. Let us grow up and start reasoning like thinking adults in the modern world. It really does more harm than good when Christians say certain sexual stuff is demonic or evil. It is clearly a subjective and likely a moralistic view. Like a theatre each Christian will play a certain character or role, even though the advice of that character of the role they play may not be particular good advice. The morals of Christianity could be the name of that play. T
he best people qualified to help you and your wife is Jesus, and you and her negotiating your way together. Communication is key - why has your relationship broken down. Is there evidence that your wife is having an affair apart from your curious mind. Could she perhaps just be on different shifts. Respect and value: How do you treat her when she is home, do you show love and affection? Try not to look upon masturbation moralistically, it is not helpful for you. Look at it as it is, namely it is compensatory tool for the previous sex life you have enjoyed. Our brain is like a computer it records sexual stimuli, ie feelings, the orgasm, the touch, the sensations. You are sexually conditioned as are those who either have or currently do enjoy a sex life. Occupy your mind, keep it busy, an idle brain and the idle flesh likes to console itself and therein it will lead to personal sexual stimuli (masturbation). Discipline, as an adult you are not a child, neither are you an animal, take control of your mid, body and thoughts subjecting them, your body and you to Christ. "Lord, i have this urge please take it away, and what I cannot d with my own strength, please do it in yours.' Avoid: any images which will cause you to think about sex, i.e. any paraphernalia such as images on the TV, in magazines. To what we associate ourselves with shall we become, paraphrasing scripture. Prayer is so important, keep praying for the strength so you do not fall. The Word is the bible and Jesus is its author, as everything that was made was made through Him. Life is God-given, speak life into your flesh. Your were given a sound mind, not a mind which becomes depressed. You were given a powerful spirit in that all things that you cannot do, in Him you can! You are slave to no thing including masturbation.
If sex was made illegal and all Christian couples were forced to stop having sexual intercourse the likelihood is that they too would compensate in other ways including masturbation. Let us grow up and start reasoning like thinking adults in the modern world. It really does more harm than good when Christians say certain sexual stuff is demonic or evil. It is clearly a subjective and likely a moralistic view. Like a theatre each Christian will play a certain character or role, even though the advice of that character of the role they play may not be particular good advice. The morals of Christianity could be the name of that play. T
he best people qualified to help you and your wife is Jesus, and you and her negotiating your way together. Communication is key - why has your relationship broken down. Is there evidence that your wife is having an affair apart from your curious mind. Could she perhaps just be on different shifts. Respect and value: How do you treat her when she is home, do you show love and affection? Try not to look upon masturbation moralistically, it is not helpful for you. Look at it as it is, namely it is compensatory tool for the previous sex life you have enjoyed. Our brain is like a computer it records sexual stimuli, ie feelings, the orgasm, the touch, the sensations. You are sexually conditioned as are those who either have or currently do enjoy a sex life. Occupy your mind, keep it busy, an idle brain and the idle flesh likes to console itself and therein it will lead to personal sexual stimuli (masturbation). Discipline, as an adult you are not a child, neither are you an animal, take control of your mid, body and thoughts subjecting them, your body and you to Christ. "Lord, i have this urge please take it away, and what I cannot d with my own strength, please do it in yours.' Avoid: any images which will cause you to think about sex, i.e. any paraphernalia such as images on the TV, in magazines. To what we associate ourselves with shall we become, paraphrasing scripture. Prayer is so important, keep praying for the strength so you do not fall. The Word is the bible and Jesus is its author, as everything that was made was made through Him. Life is God-given, speak life into your flesh. Your were given a sound mind, not a mind which becomes depressed. You were given a powerful spirit in that all things that you cannot do, in Him you can! You are slave to no thing including masturbation.
M
I had a pornography addiction from 18-34 which included the first three years of my Christian adult life how I was able to completely stop
1) daily prayer
2) mentally viewing all women as the mother of jesus Mary
3) stop using any form on comtracption with my wife and only ending the act of marriage so we were open to life.
1) daily prayer
2) mentally viewing all women as the mother of jesus Mary
3) stop using any form on comtracption with my wife and only ending the act of marriage so we were open to life.
M
S
I agree with two out of your three points, with the caveat that I think who you try to look at a woman as is irrelevant. What makes Mary special over any other woman? Christ himself pointed this out in Matthew 12:
48But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
It's just not right to look at any woman sexually unless it's our spouse. I'd skip the Mary part and go straight to the words of Christ in Matthew 5
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Your third point confuses me. I'm not sure how contraception factors into this equation at all as it can in fact be good stewardship to avoid bringing another child into the world if a couple can't afford the child, and if you place that at odds with the couple's ability to enjoy the marriage bed, then it's just going to create more resentment, not less.
48But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren? 49And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! 50For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.
It's just not right to look at any woman sexually unless it's our spouse. I'd skip the Mary part and go straight to the words of Christ in Matthew 5
27Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Your third point confuses me. I'm not sure how contraception factors into this equation at all as it can in fact be good stewardship to avoid bringing another child into the world if a couple can't afford the child, and if you place that at odds with the couple's ability to enjoy the marriage bed, then it's just going to create more resentment, not less.
If I understood you correctly, you are giving your wife a blame for the fact that you masturbate. Because your wife with you do not want to be intimate. Hey, if a man marries, the wife is not the property of the husband. She does not jump when he wants it. She has a right to her own body. This includes pregnancy and sexuality. If your wife wants to have sex without intimacy with you, it may be that it is up to you. Maybe you run too little personal care? Or you're not attentive to her; treat her like a maid, like a slave of your convenience?
So, as you have a right to masturbation (unless it is excessive), so she has a right to say to you "NO".
So, as you have a right to masturbation (unless it is excessive), so she has a right to say to you "NO".