C
Hi all
My father died 5 years ago and my mother went into a care home. I am an only child. I live quite far away from where she is so getting to see her is not easy. I go when I can which is not often due to the cost because I have to stay a few days in a hotel. I do not drive so go by train.
I thought I had done as best I can for my mother. I am always talking to her on the phone but she has often said I do not visit very often and other residents in her home have frequent family members visit. I pointed out the reason and that they have family who live near so visits are easy. She will not accept this. Distance makes it impossible to do a day trip and a visit for four or five days is very expensive. My mother said to me that I have let her down and not really looked after her. If I lived nearer to her I would visit a lot but I cannot do that and she cannot accept it. I do not spend christmas with her because there is literally nowhere to stay as I cannot afford a hotel, the care home cannot accommodate me and all the smalller guest places close for christmas because naturally they do not want to be working over christmas.
We get on ok generally but I feel my mother thinks I have not done enough for her and I feel I have done as much as I can possibly do under the circumstances. I am shocked that she has this low opinion of me. My mother recently went into hospital and I could not rush down and visit because it was not an emergency and I could not get time off at short notice. My mother then complained that I did not bother to visit. I sent a get well card and a gift but apparently she still did not think I have done what I should for her.
My father died 5 years ago and my mother went into a care home. I am an only child. I live quite far away from where she is so getting to see her is not easy. I go when I can which is not often due to the cost because I have to stay a few days in a hotel. I do not drive so go by train.
I thought I had done as best I can for my mother. I am always talking to her on the phone but she has often said I do not visit very often and other residents in her home have frequent family members visit. I pointed out the reason and that they have family who live near so visits are easy. She will not accept this. Distance makes it impossible to do a day trip and a visit for four or five days is very expensive. My mother said to me that I have let her down and not really looked after her. If I lived nearer to her I would visit a lot but I cannot do that and she cannot accept it. I do not spend christmas with her because there is literally nowhere to stay as I cannot afford a hotel, the care home cannot accommodate me and all the smalller guest places close for christmas because naturally they do not want to be working over christmas.
We get on ok generally but I feel my mother thinks I have not done enough for her and I feel I have done as much as I can possibly do under the circumstances. I am shocked that she has this low opinion of me. My mother recently went into hospital and I could not rush down and visit because it was not an emergency and I could not get time off at short notice. My mother then complained that I did not bother to visit. I sent a get well card and a gift but apparently she still did not think I have done what I should for her.
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