Moving on after cheating

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J

JesiLuv

Guest
#1
#1
Hello. I'm new to this website. I hope I can find some guidance. Here goes:

My husband and I have been together for about six years, married 1 year. We have two kids together. A few months into our marriage I discovered that my husband cheated on me before we got married. About three years after we got together he exchanged text messages and photos with other women and eventually that led to him having sex with one girl (one girl that I know of). He's begged for my forgiveness, begged God for forgiveness, cried and vowed to do better by reframing from (in his words) "cursing our family's future by forsaking our marriage." I believe him. Even though I find it hard to trust him, I do believe that he is ready and willing to be the man for our family. Unfortunately, I almost feel as if the damage is done. I'm finding it hard to let go. I forgave him but there are some days where I find myself in tears because I am reminded of the pain I felt when I found out. When I found out, I didn't leave him. I did stop wearing my ring for a few weeks, packed my bags a couple times, but never left. Sometimes I feel as if I should have left. Nevertheless, I'm struggling to get back to my happy space with our marriage. I keep telling myself that time will make it better but sometimes I feel like this is how I'm going to feel for the rest of our marriage. I don't want to leave him. I love him. I'm just tired of feeling sad all the time. Maybe I'm scared to move on completely because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I don't know.

Any advice?
 
Stephen63

Stephen63

Banned
#2
Aug 15, 2009
9,745
179
0
#2
JesiLuv said:
Hello. I'm new to this website. I hope I can find some guidance. Here goes:

My husband and I have been together for about six years, married 1 year. We have two kids together. A few months into our marriage I discovered that my husband cheated on me before we got married. About three years after we got together he exchanged text messages and photos with other women and eventually that led to him having sex with one girl (one girl that I know of). He's begged for my forgiveness, begged God for forgiveness, cried and vowed to do better by reframing from (in his words) "cursing our family's future by forsaking our marriage." I believe him. Even though I find it hard to trust him, I do believe that he is ready and willing to be the man for our family. Unfortunately, I almost feel as if the damage is done. I'm finding it hard to let go. I forgave him but there are some days where I find myself in tears because I am reminded of the pain I felt when I found out. When I found out, I didn't leave him. I did stop wearing my ring for a few weeks, packed my bags a couple times, but never left. Sometimes I feel as if I should have left. Nevertheless, I'm struggling to get back to my happy space with our marriage. I keep telling myself that time will make it better but sometimes I feel like this is how I'm going to feel for the rest of our marriage. I don't want to leave him. I love him. I'm just tired of feeling sad all the time. Maybe I'm scared to move on completely because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I don't know.

Any advice?
Click to expand...
Well, both of you were living adultery for 5 years, & he has 1 sin more than you do. I'd say forgive him & both of you get closer to God so that you can put this behind you.
 
F

fire-rescue

Guest
#3
#3
There is no advise here that will take your pain or lost trust away. No one can say stay or leave. God permits divorse for adultry but that dont mean god wants that. Time and prayer is the path to healing. That wound stays open for a long time and will leave a big scar. Its not impossible to move on from and still have a thriving marriage. Draw closer to god cause he wont leave you or forsake you. If you dont get closer to god it will be much easier to harbor bitterness,resentment,feelings of revenge, lower your self image among many other negative feelings and thoughts. Your actions will follow your thoughts so even though the hurt wants to consume you, try to stay positive. Everyone copes and feels different. Only god truly knows you and your husbands heart. You are doing right by looking for godly councel cause this situation is all to common in our carnal society and severly downplayed. Its become normal to people. When you need someone to just encourage you and sympethize with you and they respond to your story with and... it pulls you further down. So know its not normal. Your pain is real and your best hope is to come fully to jesus. Where there is perfect love and perfect peace.
 
N

Nice_Lady

Senior Member
#4
May 13, 2014
148
2
18
#4
Well, at first i hated when a man want more than one woman. Then i read the Bible and find out that its not a sin to have several wifes as long as you provide house and food and stuffs for every one of them. Look at Moses and Abraham and Jacob and on and on..
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#5
Mar 13, 2014
41,323
16,307
113
69
Tennessee
#5
JesiLuv said:
Hello. I'm new to this website. I hope I can find some guidance. Here goes:

My husband and I have been together for about six years, married 1 year. We have two kids together. A few months into our marriage I discovered that my husband cheated on me before we got married. About three years after we got together he exchanged text messages and photos with other women and eventually that led to him having sex with one girl (one girl that I know of). He's begged for my forgiveness, begged God for forgiveness, cried and vowed to do better by reframing from (in his words) "cursing our family's future by forsaking our marriage." I believe him. Even though I find it hard to trust him, I do believe that he is ready and willing to be the man for our family. Unfortunately, I almost feel as if the damage is done. I'm finding it hard to let go. I forgave him but there are some days where I find myself in tears because I am reminded of the pain I felt when I found out. When I found out, I didn't leave him. I did stop wearing my ring for a few weeks, packed my bags a couple times, but never left. Sometimes I feel as if I should have left. Nevertheless, I'm struggling to get back to my happy space with our marriage. I keep telling myself that time will make it better but sometimes I feel like this is how I'm going to feel for the rest of our marriage. I don't want to leave him. I love him. I'm just tired of feeling sad all the time. Maybe I'm scared to move on completely because I'm afraid of getting hurt again. I don't know.

Any advice?
Click to expand...
I have do have one word of advice: LEAVE!
 
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