My daughter is withholding my grandson from me.

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lcerveny

Guest
#1
#1
Me and my daughter have had our ups and downs but something has been wrong ever since she got married we have not been as close. Our family is dysfunctional but I thought we were all working on ourselves. They (my daughter and her husband) are not speaking to his family either. They seem to think they do no wrong and everyone else has the problem.
I have asked several times if I can see my grandson and she says no that we need time away from each other. I am use to seeing my grandson 2-3 times a week. We have fun together. He loves me and I him. I think it is cruel she is holding him from me. Please pray for us. I went to a counselor the other day. I will do anything to make things better.

Here is my question: His birthday is coming up and if she doesn't invite me to his party what do I do? Do I send money or do I put the money into his savings account that I have? He is only 2 yrs old so he will not know the difference.

Don't want to play my daughter's game. She seems to be emotionally unstable at times. Starts fights with me but this one is a big fight that I am not sure it will ever be better.

I have cried the past few days because I miss my grandson so much:( Advise please
 
RedTent

RedTent

Banned
#2
Oct 31, 2011
8,200
182
0
#2
This is a problem that is part of the world we are now living in. Families are simply not considered important. It is part of the world heading toward the lawlessness that scripture tells us about. There are many contributing factors, including the attitude of our churches toward the law. Honor your father and mother as the people that God gave to give us birth is simply not considered necessary for Christians to do any more. Sometimes they get that word "honor" mixed up with a necessity to obey them even when they lead away from God, and that is not what God asks.

I have a family who tries to live through Christ, yet because I am very elderly and infirm, I am tossed aside so, after I could drive no longer, getting groceries is a problem. I don't know my great grandsons to recognize them if I met them on the street although they live in the same town.

My grandchildren were raised to distrust me, I could never convince my daughter in law that I simply loved her as my daughter, she raised my grandchildren to be wary of me. I simply quietly was there for them all I could and gave presents to them. I don't think they ever took any notice of it, I have never gotten one thank you.

I have a friend who, when faced with this, managed to break through with enough love there is a relationship now. It took her years, she is a saint. She simply quietly gave love any way she could including hours and hours of sewing for them. She never reacted to their treatment of her, simply smiled and excused it.

For me, I have simply learned to live with my Lord in contentment and happiness. I cannot run the lives of others, I can only let them be and be sure to surround them with my love.
 
mystdancer50

mystdancer50

Senior Member
#3
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
48
#3
I would say send him a gift and a card and put the money in the savings account.

My mother has had this same issue with my brother and her grandsons. :( Her heart is constantly being broken. She has given it to God and has greater peace now, but it still hurts her horribly. There was one birthday where my brother and his girlfriend didn't send my mom an invitation and told me specifically that she wasn't welcome there. I didn't go either. They said that I could go but she couldn't. I refuse to be a part of that kind of cruelty.

It will be up to your daughter if she will give your grandson the gift and card, but sending it shows that you love them both regardless of what is currently going on. Then, putting the money in the saving account assures that you have something for him when he's older, that he can apply toward college or prom or his first car. :)

May God give you peace and joy and comfort through this hard time.
 
JimJimmers

JimJimmers

Senior Member
#4
Apr 26, 2012
2,584
70
48
#4
How long has it been since you have seen your grandson?
 
A

AprilAngel

Guest
#5
#5
lcerveny said:
Me and my daughter have had our ups and downs but something has been wrong ever since she got married we have not been as close. Our family is dysfunctional but I thought we were all working on ourselves. They (my daughter and her husband) are not speaking to his family either. They seem to think they do no wrong and everyone else has the problem.
I have asked several times if I can see my grandson and she says no that we need time away from each other. I am use to seeing my grandson 2-3 times a week. We have fun together. He loves me and I him. I think it is cruel she is holding him from me. Please pray for us. I went to a counselor the other day. I will do anything to make things better.

Here is my question: His birthday is coming up and if she doesn't invite me to his party what do I do? Do I send money or do I put the money into his savings account that I have? He is only 2 yrs old so he will not know the difference.

Don't want to play my daughter's game. She seems to be emotionally unstable at times. Starts fights with me but this one is a big fight that I am not sure it will ever be better.

I have cried the past few days because I miss my grandson so much:( Advise please
Click to expand...
you mentioned, or what I gather, that this has happened since she got married? could there be any possibility of her husband being abusive? mentally/physically? or is it just a family dispute that hopefully time will heal?
IF the husband is abusive, it can start slowly (i was in an abusive house my entire childhood, it started soon after my mom married my dad....and just got worse...still is) anyway, pray for your daughter and her own little family. Pray for healing for the fight you two had, also I would say you should put the money into the account you have for him (as that will, i believe, be better for him in the long run) and perhaps a toy he would like next time he comes to grandma's house :)
I would suggest praying and try to, if your daughter will listen, ask her if there is something more going on, that she should always be able to tell you anything and you will be there for her when she would like to talk. As for if you can really do anything, no, i don't think she legally has to let you see him, all though it would be nice. GOOD LUCK! Praying!
 
J

jkalyna

Guest
#6
#6
We live physically on earth, but spiritually many are living in troubled waters. No one knows the reasons only the Lord God. The answer is to pray. In these times, many shall fall away, into troubled waters, Jesus's hand is always ready to reach for ours, but as Peter tried to walk on water, got frightened and Jesus said, oh you of little faith, pray for her enter into spiritual warfare. This is not an easy thing to do, but not only are teens trashing their newborns into the garbage, but families are divided RedTent you said it right. What is having Faith, it is in a God, what God, their is only one God, and it is God is Love, because iniquity shall abound the love of many shall wax cold. She is your daughter, once carried in the womb, our arms can not carry them grown up, but our hearts are able. Pray and the peace of God will guard your heart and mind. God is able his hand is not shortened that it cannot save.
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#7
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#7
Sorry you're going through this! Your daughter may get over it by herself if just given time. There's not much you can do until she gets over whatever is bothering her. I think she'll get tired of the game eventually.

If you aren't invited to the party, then I suggest mailing the gift and card to him. At least you would have tried to smooth things over and given the gift...which as a grandma you really want to do anyway.

I've had conflicts with my sister-in-law who can really carry a grudge over the silliest things. I had to be the one to initiate reconciliation and trying to promote family harmony and so far she is responding. Christ teaches us to be the one to make the effort...and keep making the effort, regardless of their reaction. The Holy Spirit will give us the right attitude, the right words, and the right timing. We just need to remain close to the Spirit :).
 
Miss

Miss

Senior Member
#8
May 18, 2013
115
5
18
#8
I'm sorry about your family problems I will pray for you and your family. I would send the grandchild a gift, he might not notice but your daughter and son in law will notice. The bible says a soft answer turneth away wrath, it might work a little in the process of softening their hearts toward you.:)
 
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lcerveny

Guest
#9
#9
Thank you everyone!!!!
 
S

supermommy

Guest
#10
#10
I have three children. I saw send a present, and not just any present. THE PRESENT. Something he will love, she will think is cute, and will make her smile. Make sure you send any extra pieces it might need ( extra batteries for example). Then follow up a day or two later with a email or a text ( phone calls can get confrontational) and ask how is birthday went. Then send a gift card for her and her husband to their favorite restaurant. Include with it a homemade coupon from construction paper for free babysitting. Even if she never uses it , it might get you talking again.
 
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