I am giving update from my previous post, if you have not read please go to the other 2 previous post before commenting.
So as many have read, back at the end of August my husbands father passed away, my husbands attitude completely changed towards me as well as his feeling about our marriage.
His mother and siblings do not like me but still continued to be around to support them and my husband as best as I could.
Words were said from his sister that I took as an insult and when my husband found out about what his sister said to me, he basically backed his sister up 100%. By the time the funeral and everything was over, I started to feel like my husband didn't even love or care for me.
I told him how I felt that he didn't love me and he disagreed, he continued to act different towards me and he ended up leaving me, to go live with his mother, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and I continued to pray and trust God for restoration In our marriage.
It has been 2 months since the funeral and my husband leaving me. In between all of that time, my husband and I have been talking, he has came to visit me on and off and has even spent 2-7 days here at a time.
He told me he wanted to fix the marriage and then we both agreed that we would take the steps needed to fix it.
When he would be here, he would always throw in the fact that he doesn't live here and that I should accept that, also saying that he doesn't know what the future holds for us. I told him I am making plans to move next year, and I asked if he would be moving along with me, he said no.
I felt really hurt by his answer and insisted that he leave, because I felt I was being played with and used. He left the next day and started to call me on his phone, I ignored his calls for an entire week because I felt we needed our space.
I spent that time to pray and ask God to strengthen me in this situation, and so after some days of my husband calling, I decided to answer and talk to him.
He was so angry with me and I didn't understand why because he told me he didn't even want to live with me, and he didn't even know if his own wife was in his future. Why get angry because I didn't call you or answer your phone calls.
He insisted that I start calling him and that it was not okay for me to ignore his calls when he is worried about me.
I apologized for not answering his calls and then explained why I didn't answer them.
The next day I ended up cooking a big meal for my kids and I put the kids to bed and invited him over to talk, because I felt that we needed to be grown about the situation and needed to make a final decision on what we should really do about the marriage. We talked and we both agreed that we do love each other and would make our marriage work. He told me what he had been going through not being here and he also told me that he became a drug dealer because he needed money, I told him that I was disappointed with him and that he was allowing the devil to destroy his life, because this is not what God intended for him to be and I told him that I had been praying, reading my bible and allowing God to change me into a good mother and wife.
He stayed over 1 night and then it became an entire week, I started to feel like I was getting in the way of God working on him, so I became uneasy about him staying so long, but the time being able to be together was great.
Until he wanted to leave for an entire day to "Sell Drugs", it became a big problem for me because I don't understand why he cannot just get a job. He ended up leaving and telling me he would be home in the morning, that he just needed to go make some money. I expressed my feelings to him and told him I could not accept him coming in and going out of the house when he felt like it and that he would have to decide if he was going to stay or go. He insisted it was okay because it was only 1 day and that he would be back the following morning. I didn't want to argue so I just said okay and he left.
Later that night I called him because I was worried and he told me he doesn't like to talk on the phone when he is doing his "business", he also decided to tell me that he wasn't going to be home the next morning, I got upset because I feel he should keep his word, he argued with me that he has a right to change his mind and that I cannot get upset about it.
I didn't want to argue with him so I told him I was getting off the phone, I hung up on him and he started to text me apologizing and that he wanted me to talk to him because he didn't want me to be mad. I felt that I couldn't talk to him so I sent him a text about how I feel as a married man how it wasn't okay to be the way he is being, and basically how we are a choice to him and not a priority. He didn't respond.
So the next day I didn't here from him I was extremely worried I called but I got no answer, so I texted him to see if he was okay and I told him to call me. He called and demanded his belongings that he had left over here during his stay and I asked him if he wanted to explain why he was not coming back, he was angry and said he didn't have to explain, and to just hand him his things at the door and he would be gone.
I looked out the window and noticed that his mother had drove him to get his things and I instantly became so confused as to why she was with him, but when I opened the door, he snatched his things, he didn't even look at me and he just walked away, got into his mothers car and they drove off.
I am tired of this back and forth and also how he is letting his family in our marriage, a part of me feels like I need to let everything go and divorce but another very small part of me is holding on and with all that he is doing I don't even know why I am holding on to this.
Very Confused
So as many have read, back at the end of August my husbands father passed away, my husbands attitude completely changed towards me as well as his feeling about our marriage.
His mother and siblings do not like me but still continued to be around to support them and my husband as best as I could.
Words were said from his sister that I took as an insult and when my husband found out about what his sister said to me, he basically backed his sister up 100%. By the time the funeral and everything was over, I started to feel like my husband didn't even love or care for me.
I told him how I felt that he didn't love me and he disagreed, he continued to act different towards me and he ended up leaving me, to go live with his mother, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore and I continued to pray and trust God for restoration In our marriage.
It has been 2 months since the funeral and my husband leaving me. In between all of that time, my husband and I have been talking, he has came to visit me on and off and has even spent 2-7 days here at a time.
He told me he wanted to fix the marriage and then we both agreed that we would take the steps needed to fix it.
When he would be here, he would always throw in the fact that he doesn't live here and that I should accept that, also saying that he doesn't know what the future holds for us. I told him I am making plans to move next year, and I asked if he would be moving along with me, he said no.
I felt really hurt by his answer and insisted that he leave, because I felt I was being played with and used. He left the next day and started to call me on his phone, I ignored his calls for an entire week because I felt we needed our space.
I spent that time to pray and ask God to strengthen me in this situation, and so after some days of my husband calling, I decided to answer and talk to him.
He was so angry with me and I didn't understand why because he told me he didn't even want to live with me, and he didn't even know if his own wife was in his future. Why get angry because I didn't call you or answer your phone calls.
He insisted that I start calling him and that it was not okay for me to ignore his calls when he is worried about me.
I apologized for not answering his calls and then explained why I didn't answer them.
The next day I ended up cooking a big meal for my kids and I put the kids to bed and invited him over to talk, because I felt that we needed to be grown about the situation and needed to make a final decision on what we should really do about the marriage. We talked and we both agreed that we do love each other and would make our marriage work. He told me what he had been going through not being here and he also told me that he became a drug dealer because he needed money, I told him that I was disappointed with him and that he was allowing the devil to destroy his life, because this is not what God intended for him to be and I told him that I had been praying, reading my bible and allowing God to change me into a good mother and wife.
He stayed over 1 night and then it became an entire week, I started to feel like I was getting in the way of God working on him, so I became uneasy about him staying so long, but the time being able to be together was great.
Until he wanted to leave for an entire day to "Sell Drugs", it became a big problem for me because I don't understand why he cannot just get a job. He ended up leaving and telling me he would be home in the morning, that he just needed to go make some money. I expressed my feelings to him and told him I could not accept him coming in and going out of the house when he felt like it and that he would have to decide if he was going to stay or go. He insisted it was okay because it was only 1 day and that he would be back the following morning. I didn't want to argue so I just said okay and he left.
Later that night I called him because I was worried and he told me he doesn't like to talk on the phone when he is doing his "business", he also decided to tell me that he wasn't going to be home the next morning, I got upset because I feel he should keep his word, he argued with me that he has a right to change his mind and that I cannot get upset about it.
I didn't want to argue with him so I told him I was getting off the phone, I hung up on him and he started to text me apologizing and that he wanted me to talk to him because he didn't want me to be mad. I felt that I couldn't talk to him so I sent him a text about how I feel as a married man how it wasn't okay to be the way he is being, and basically how we are a choice to him and not a priority. He didn't respond.
So the next day I didn't here from him I was extremely worried I called but I got no answer, so I texted him to see if he was okay and I told him to call me. He called and demanded his belongings that he had left over here during his stay and I asked him if he wanted to explain why he was not coming back, he was angry and said he didn't have to explain, and to just hand him his things at the door and he would be gone.
I looked out the window and noticed that his mother had drove him to get his things and I instantly became so confused as to why she was with him, but when I opened the door, he snatched his things, he didn't even look at me and he just walked away, got into his mothers car and they drove off.
I am tired of this back and forth and also how he is letting his family in our marriage, a part of me feels like I need to let everything go and divorce but another very small part of me is holding on and with all that he is doing I don't even know why I am holding on to this.
Very Confused
