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To All,
Thank you for kind words and advice. I focused on our Father as much as my rattled mined could.
We already began Christian counseling a couple months ago. My husband's job took him out of town and so, for the last month I've been going alone. We have much worldly stress in our lives: Just bought our first home, Matt has a fairly new job (with high stress), I'm beginning a new career, and Matt has no desire to have any relationship with my parents (they've had many volatile arguments). Among these extra stressors, we have the daily family stuff that everyone deals with. Also, we've been through our share of turmoil due to my journey with anxiety & depression and my husband's drinking (hard alcohol would change him).
I'm new to building my relationship with God. 2009 is when my husband lead me to Him. He was raised a Christian and then strayed until when he began to lead me. He also plays drums for our church.
Yesterday evening, when we talked about our relationship, he told me he doesn't want to be the spiritual leader of our home. He said he doesn't feel it. That scared me.
We talked for a while and I reminded him of our vows and what that meant to me. I told him I would not sign any divorce papers (although, I did talk to a friend about how to protect myself if we divorced). I reminded him that we've only begun counseling & that his work has taken him away from most of it.
He apologized for talking divorce. We have a counseling session this afternoon.
I'm going to keep in touch here- I have no idea what the future holds. I'll just keep praying and focusing on our Father.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post.
Thank you for kind words and advice. I focused on our Father as much as my rattled mined could.
We already began Christian counseling a couple months ago. My husband's job took him out of town and so, for the last month I've been going alone. We have much worldly stress in our lives: Just bought our first home, Matt has a fairly new job (with high stress), I'm beginning a new career, and Matt has no desire to have any relationship with my parents (they've had many volatile arguments). Among these extra stressors, we have the daily family stuff that everyone deals with. Also, we've been through our share of turmoil due to my journey with anxiety & depression and my husband's drinking (hard alcohol would change him).
I'm new to building my relationship with God. 2009 is when my husband lead me to Him. He was raised a Christian and then strayed until when he began to lead me. He also plays drums for our church.
Yesterday evening, when we talked about our relationship, he told me he doesn't want to be the spiritual leader of our home. He said he doesn't feel it. That scared me.
We talked for a while and I reminded him of our vows and what that meant to me. I told him I would not sign any divorce papers (although, I did talk to a friend about how to protect myself if we divorced). I reminded him that we've only begun counseling & that his work has taken him away from most of it.
He apologized for talking divorce. We have a counseling session this afternoon.
I'm going to keep in touch here- I have no idea what the future holds. I'll just keep praying and focusing on our Father.
Thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post.
I agree, this sounds pretty stressful. He seem as though he is depressed. He has a high stress job, he's a father and a new home owner. It is good you both are receiving counseling. I think you should have your parents give him some space. He may feel a little better away from them. He may not feel appreciated and feel they are being critical of him. We all have our breaking points so try to make it a little easier on him.
Let him know how much you love him and appreciate him. Encourage him to look for a less stressful job even if it pays less. Money is not everything, as long as your bills are paid, his mental health is way more important. Cut down on unneeded things so you two don't have to kill yourself paying for him. When he has time off , try spending alone time together without the kids. See if trusted friends and family can help. When alone with him, massage him to help him relax. When he is off work, encourage him to exercise or to spend time talking/socializing with a close friend. He may play card games or just talk to someone he is also close to. Sometimes you may have to take on a little more on your plate and be the "head of the house" to lighten his load.
If he is depressed exercise may help. Prepare healthy nutritious meals for him and make sure he is not deficient in his essential vistamins. If his vitamin D and B12 are low, this can contribute to his depression. He may have to take antidepressants as well. If you know exactly what is bothering him try to help him. Sometimes as wives, we have to put ourselves last. It is important to keep your family together if you can. Try and take time to attend to your needs as we'll, but your focus now should be on his needs. Pray, pray and tell him that you love him very much and express how much he means to you. Avoid nagging him and complaining as much as you can. Make the home life very warm and inviting to him. Try and get him to go to church together. Your family needs to give him a break unless you and your children are in danger. Have them stay out of your affairs.
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