My only problem!

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MartenH

Guest
#1
#1
I am a born Christian that comes from a loving family and fortunate enough to grow up in a safe country (Australia) and am blessed with a great education and many benefits.

I know millions of people around the world dont have things such as access to food all day or security and I really do appreciate that God has provided me with such resources.

However my biggest issue in life is my older brother who is not so grateful. Long story short for years he has abused drugs and has a severe gambling problem. He never understands the value of money and has in the past gambled over $100,000. He never saves any money or helps support my father. He did a year and a half ago confess his problems and seeked help which was given to him, however i noticed that he has recently started gambling again. He is very short tempered and does not understand what he is doing is wrong.

His addiction has caused my family a lot of grief and upset yet he chooses to continue. In the bible it says i must love my brother, however how can i love someone so selfish and unholy. I feel like if he is not in my life it would be so much easier! I cant have him in my future as he is a very toxic person. Will God hold it agaisnt me if I move far away from him once i get the chance?
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#2
#2
MartenH said:
In the bible it says i must love my brother, however how can i love someone so selfish and unholy.
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Selfless and holy. You don't see this, do you? That you have trouble seeing your brother as anything but selfish and unholy reflects on your own selfishness and unholiness.

Nothing personal, but that's everyone's problem and that's what God is trying to correct in each of us. If God can love you -- knowing you are selfish and unholy too -- then shouldn't we reflect God to others? We fall short. He doesn't. He can give that part of us fullness, so we can love others just like us.
 
M

MartenH

Guest
#3
#3
Its hard to love someone that causes so much pain to my parents and family. That does not make me just as guilty for causing that same pain. Im not saying my sins are better than his but he lacks general common sense and i am tired of suffering from his actions. In the future when he knocks on my door seeking money and I dont help him God should understand why I will say no.
 
A

atwhatcost

Guest
#4
#4
MartenH said:
Its hard to love someone that causes so much pain to my parents and family. That does not make me just as guilty for causing that same pain. Im not saying my sins are better than his but he lacks general common sense and i am tired of suffering from his actions. In the future when he knocks on my door seeking money and I dont help him God should understand why I will say no.
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Yes, you are saying your sins are less. They are less by society's standards. They aren't less by Gods standards.

And, I'm one of six kids. One of us, (and it wasn't me), never had an addiction problem. I know what addicts do to a family, so it's not like I don't understand what your brother is doing to your family. I've had it from both sides -- the addict and the one ever so frustrated by stupid, dangerous, holy-cow-why-wasn't-someone-killed-then stuff addicts do.

By God's reckoning, you are as guilty as your brother. See this through God's eyes and you gain compassion on your brother. (And, BTW, compassion doesn't mean trust! Trust is earned.) And when he comes knocking at your door, you listen to him. If he wants help, you're wrong. You do give money to help him, but give it to the rehab center, not him directly. And if he's giving you another I-want-your-money-or-I-die-but-I'll-get-help-someday speech, then you remind him where help comes from. God. Let him know you love him, praying for him, and are there when he's done with that life, and then slam the door on his face.

But, one thing you need to remember is you really are no better than he is according to God. Being normal-middle-class doesn't mean you're better. It means God has blessed you in ways he doesn't bless all.
 
I

iveseenworse

Guest
#5
#5
martin, Jesus hung on a cross for everything you and i have done that was selfish, sin, greedy, thoughtless hurtful comments, bulling in school, etc, etc. God's duty for us, our unending mission in life, our purpose is to learn how to love and then share it. growing up i had an older brother who made my life hell. later, a wife's divorce decision that cause great family and financial heartache. i'm commanded to love, commanded to forgive. If the Lord brought my,now deceased brother, to me at hell's gate and said it's up to you, do you want to be recompensed? i would say forgiven.
 
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