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hopelessCatholic

Guest
#1
#1
Hi. I'm new here. Never thought I'd join a site like this, but I feel alone and afraid. I'm 43 years old and will be married 20 years to my husband in May. We have twin, teenage daughters (age 16). We're Catholic. I've had some serious health issues over the years (including Type 1 diabetes and severe depression and anxiety). In the last year and a half, I've gotten professional help with my depression, including seeing a Psychiatrist for meds and seeing a therapist to help me deal with things better. I'm doing really well, now, but with 2 teenagers and 2 full-time jobs, my husband and I don't have any time together. I also have been fearful that after I sought help with my depression, I'd come to realize that we've grown apart (and that seems to be the case). We're just roommates trying to raise teens and pay the bills.

We're not intimate anymore... partly because it's so awkward when we are together and my husband has been having some issues (which many men do)... We've talked about him speaking with our doctor, but he insists he already has and our doctor doesn't want to prescribe anything for him (I just don't believe it.).

I feel stuck. According to my Catholic faith, divorce is not an option. I'm unhappy and "the rest of my life" feels like an entirety right now.
 
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Little_Woman

Guest
#2
#2
Welcome,
someone else will be able
to tell you the right words
to support you better than me.
 
J

Jhong

Guest
#3
#3
Hello brethren and welcome! To share with you (briefly) my story: I am 42, M, living alone for 5+ years now but with a child (the latter with the Mum now). Before the Mum decided to leave "home," we had experienced that same situation: she always nagged me every hour of the day, every day, 7 days a week. It lasted for a year. We have lots of differences but one key ingredient missing (in our relationship) was "God." That's the primary reason we split (she didn't even gave me a chance to explain or another shot). Having been in that situation and knowing how difficult it would be for the offspring to deal with it, I humbly advice that you both find God together and deal with your marital concerns (talk it over in a low tone). It will be easy to understand, forgive, be patient with one another if God is in the centre of your family (especially since you have children). I pray for you and your family's welfare. May He bring peace and joy to your family soon and eternally. God bless you all!
 
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hopelessCatholic

Guest
#4
#4
Thank you. Yes, we go to church together as a family. Faith is an important part of our family. I think that's why I feel things are so hopeless... Both my husband and I believe marriage is forever, but I also believe people change. I certainly don't want to do anything that would hurt our children, either.
 
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dalconn

Guest
#5
#5
welcome to cc chat, I hope you make some good friends here!

I want to leave you with this thought...sin divides but the Holy Spirit unites, we're all someplace in between ~
 
Oncefallen

Oncefallen

Idiot in Chief
Staff member
#6
Jan 15, 2011
6,038
3,302
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#6
hopelessCatholic said:
Hi. I'm new here. Never thought I'd join a site like this, but I feel alone and afraid. I'm 43 years old and will be married 20 years to my husband in May. We have twin, teenage daughters (age 16). We're Catholic. I've had some serious health issues over the years (including Type 1 diabetes and severe depression and anxiety). In the last year and a half, I've gotten professional help with my depression, including seeing a Psychiatrist for meds and seeing a therapist to help me deal with things better. I'm doing really well, now, but with 2 teenagers and 2 full-time jobs, my husband and I don't have any time together. I also have been fearful that after I sought help with my depression, I'd come to realize that we've grown apart (and that seems to be the case). We're just roommates trying to raise teens and pay the bills.

We're not intimate anymore... partly because it's so awkward when we are together and my husband has been having some issues (which many men do)... We've talked about him speaking with our doctor, but he insists he already has and our doctor doesn't want to prescribe anything for him (I just don't believe it.).

I feel stuck. According to my Catholic faith, divorce is not an option. I'm unhappy and "the rest of my life" feels like an entirety right now.
Click to expand...
The part that I bolded I see as being the biggest problem you have right now. A marriage, just like any relationship takes time and work. Statistically, in recent years, women are the more likely to initiate a divorce, and a large number of them, from my experience, are because they "fell out of love".

That feeling of "being in love" is a simple emotion that comes and goes and the viability of a marriage should never be based on that alone. Yes, I understand that you ladies are very emotional creatures and thrive best in a situation where those "in love" feelings are running high, but God doesn't give us the lack of "feelings" as an out of marriage.

In my humble opinion, next to our relationship to God, our relationship with our spouse should be second to none. Yes, the kids come after your spouse, and since they are in their teens they should be absorbing considerably less of your time than they did in their younger years. The best fix for your marriage is a four letter word.....TIME. You and your husband need to set time apart from everyone and everything else to spend fostering your relationship. Many thriving couples that I know (even with young kids) intentionally set apart date nights for themselves or even occasional getaway weekends for just the two of them.
 
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LanceA

Guest
#7
#7
hopelessCatholic said:
Hi. I'm new here. Never thought I'd join a site like this, but I feel alone and afraid. I'm 43 years old and will be married 20 years to my husband in May. We have twin, teenage daughters (age 16). We're Catholic. I've had some serious health issues over the years (including Type 1 diabetes and severe depression and anxiety). In the last year and a half, I've gotten professional help with my depression, including seeing a Psychiatrist for meds and seeing a therapist to help me deal with things better. I'm doing really well, now, but with 2 teenagers and 2 full-time jobs, my husband and I don't have any time together. I also have been fearful that after I sought help with my depression, I'd come to realize that we've grown apart (and that seems to be the case). We're just roommates trying to raise teens and pay the bills.

We're not intimate anymore... partly because it's so awkward when we are together and my husband has been having some issues (which many men do)... We've talked about him speaking with our doctor, but he insists he already has and our doctor doesn't want to prescribe anything for him (I just don't believe it.).

I feel stuck. According to my Catholic faith, divorce is not an option. I'm unhappy and "the rest of my life" feels like an entirety right now.
Click to expand...
Hi hopeless. You say you have a lot of faith. What is your relationship like with Jesus? Do you read the word of God, do you pray daily? We can't expect our earthly relationships to get better if we don't have a daily relationship with the Father.
 
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