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heredeems82

Guest
#1
#1
My husband and I have been married for two and a half years. Right after we got married, he got sick. I had to immediately pick up the slack in all areas. Working, home, him, our pets, all the while I too am sick with an auto immune disease. All my dreams went on hold. And as to support him, any dream he had, I supported n cheered on. Even now... hes getting better n wants to be a physical trainer n I'm completely behind him...
I'm very gifted in worship .ministry... but I feel he doesnt support me at all.
In fact I had a ministry in worship until he got sick... and now he just tears me down. Any time I "talk back" or "run my mouth" he digs into me about my faith. He knows how to hurt me.
Our relationship has never been easy but we've worked hard. Now though... im so hurt. I feel like he doesn't believe in me.
Ive given my everything for this man and up for this man n I just feel like garbage.. can someone pray for me?
 
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atwhatcost

Guest
#2
#2
You've just written the words you want him to hear. He needs to hear, except for one big difference. This seems to be all about how you feel. It's a marriage -- a collaboration, a partnership. Imagine saying that to a business partner. Can you see how quickly that partnership would end?

Same argument, but from another side completely. What do you AND he need to do to keep on going and helping each other? Negotiate that at a good time, and he might hear better.

You didn't give up everything for him. You gave it up for both of you and because you wanted this more than what you used to have. Now you want some of it back. That's negotiating. You have to hear his side too and negotiate that too.

There is no more you. There is no more him. There is US. Marriage is a WE proposition. It's seems like both of you forgot that.
 
tourist

tourist

Senior Member
#3
Mar 13, 2014
41,323
16,307
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Tennessee
#3
He might feel inadequate as a husband and is resenting you as the stronger one in the marriage. I will say a prayer that these differences can be reconciled.
 
Angela53510

Angela53510

Senior Member
#4
Jan 24, 2011
11,783
2,947
113
#4
Is your husband not a Christian? Because if he is not, you have a hard life ahead of you. As for marriage, there is always give and take. But it is draining, if you feel that you are doing all the giving, and he is doing all the taking.

So forget about his digs. Get back involved in your music ministry. Get back into your Bible and work on your relationship with Christ. I know God will tell you to forgive your husband, if you want your marriage to work. That doesn't mean put up with abuse, but it does mean you need to let go of all this bitterness and resentment.

When you took a vow to marry, part of that meant in "sickness" and you kept to that part of the vow. Now that he is better, he needs to pick up some slack and help you, particularly if you have a serious auto-immune disease.

Praying you find some peace in God, and you get back to serving God and demonstrate the love of God to your husband.
 
Joidevivre

Joidevivre

Senior Member
#5
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#5
Have faith in the name of Jesus. If leading worship is what He is calling you to do, doors will open. And your husband's heart will change.

However, your calling right now is to show mercy and forgiveness towards your husband. Give him no reason to tell you that you are "running your mouth " or "talking back". Please be patient with him and continue to be supportive. And as Angela said, continue in the Word, continue in your private worship time, and continue holding onto your joy in the Lord.

Jesus has your back. His power is the strength in your marriage.
 
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mystikmind

Guest
#6
#6
so far there are some very beautiful and supportive posts in this thread, very uplifting to see :)

I would also recommend counseling, because the root causes of these issues can sometimes be very complex, and it is far easier to heal when you understand more clearly what are the underlying problems than just pounding away at the problem in ignorance.
 
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