Okay, I have yet another situation that I would like to get advice about: My cousin and I attend the same church, we joined at the same time, at first I didn't want to join because I wanted my husband and I to attend a church where we did not know anyone and can be free to worship God as husband and wife without any of our own family members watching and gossiping about what we do at church or even how they feel about what we do at church. My cousin is not married but tends to give a lot of marital advice about my marriage, yes I admit at the beginning I used to feel as if I could not talk to my husband so I would talk to her to vent, not necessarily asking for advice but for someone to just listen. I eventually learned that a lot of my marital arguments with my husband had started to involve her, and she would engage in the argument too. I learned my lesson but still she now knows information about my marriage that no one should know. She became interested in a guy at church, and they started getting close, I found out very quickly that a lot of their conversations were about my husband! My husband finally started to get involved in church and considered the male congregation his "brotherhood" including the guy my cousin was interested in. My husband wanted to start doing Christian music with this guy, but my cousin quickly told the guy that my husband was a liar and told this guy all types of negative things that made him not want to involve himself with my husband. My cousin thought it was okay and would call me to inform about conversations they had about my husband like I would be okay with it or something, I went back and told husband not to associate with this guy because I found out this guy would also go back to my cousin and would make jokes about my husband. I also confronted my cousin because she felt the need to tell me she didn't like my husband because she thought he was faking worshipping God, she felt like he was doing it to impress me, so I told her that it was none of her business and to mind her own basically, that it's between my husband and God. Recently my cousin and I stopped talking because she needed my help with something and I have been going through marital problems, so I have been dealing with my own problems and I haven't really help her out, she started getting impatient with my lack of response to her issue. I admit I got upset with her because of her insensitive reaction, I didn't go into full detail with her I just let her know that I couldn't assist because of my own issues, when she responded the way she did I lost it and started telling her about her selfishness and her bad attitude, she started to talk about my marriage but I ignored her because she's not married what does she know about marriage? At church we take ministry classes and we are not allowed to minister unless these classes have been completed, I love my church and I am happy where I am because I am spiritually fed there, they allowed cousin to join the praise team to sing which is a part of ministry, I don't feel comfortable attending my own church because of her and my church is allowing her to minister singing, now I do admit that was something I wanted to do as well but I want to make sure that I am spiritually ready to minister with my church and I want to make sure I am following God's orders for myself before I can convince others, everything that my cousin has been doing I feel is not of God and for us to have come into this together my church has put her in a position she spiritually is not ready to be in, and I feel they are allowing her to be absent from ministry classes and still allowing her to minister to others because her older brother and his wife immediately started to minister at the same church as well, but because they are so spiritually mature our church allowed them to jump into the ministry. But here my cousin is calling me a hypocrit, has a bad attitude and talks about marriage to others, should I talk to someone about this? She is not someone that I would want ministering to me when I walk into my church.
Problems with family at church...
- Thread starter christianwife87
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To be honest with you your cousin isn't the only one in ministry who has a bad attitude. There are many others that you wouldn't know about. No Christian is perfect, we all have our issues. I don't think that you should run to a higher authority to get her kick out of the ministry. That wouldn't be right. However, if you tried talking with your cousin and she is still gossiping about your marriage, then you should consider having a counseling session with a pastor. It's sounds like having a mediator would be helpful. Also, pray for your cousin. But wishing that she didn't attend the church; or you leaving the church doesn't solve anything. You need to forgive your cousin and try to work it out. I'm not suggesting that you have that level of closeness that you had once before, but she is your family. As Christians we are to love always.