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Charmie38

Guest
#1
#1
My love to my husband gets cold. From the very start of our married life, we always have fights and arguments. We are very incompatible, i thought we're going to change but now, it's worst. He is startin to chat with other women but he said they are just friends and he let me read their conversations, but see nothing wrong. Is that ok?
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#2
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#2
If he's letting you read the conversations then he isn't trying to hide anything. But you two really need to work on your relationship ;)

God has joined you two together and He can help you in many ways. You must have something in common since you were attracted to each other in the first place.

Are you Christians?

My husband and I went through some trials too...but one thing we learned is that love really is a choice. We chose to love each other in spite of our differences and to forgive and forget past hurts.

Praying for you both...that you will want to improve your marriage by seeking God's love and help :) .
 
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Charmie38

Guest
#3
#3
Surprise to say but yes, we are Christians. His faith is more strong than i. He was a born-again since 1981 and I, just 5 years ago. He is not working anymore and me too. How many times we had arguments about me to go back to work but he wont allow me. He just like me to stay at home, but i dont like it. We dont have problems, financially. He always in the pc to chat with women. I always asked him about divorce but he dont like the idea. I'm tired and desperate to get out of this relationship. Im like a prisoner in our house. I think its better for me to look for another man. Not only these, I have so many reasons to share. He's not that bad but really, i dont love him anymore.
 
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blessedmommy34

Guest
#4
#4
I was stuck in an abusive relationship and just recently separated. I still love my husband though we are so completely different, but I made my choice for my own sanity and my childrens. im sorry but I dont agree with a married man having any discussions or chats with other females or vice versa. When your married you should have no need to turn to other women...what for? Have u talked to him about how u feel and expressed to him where you are with your feelings towards him? If you havent, you should..communication is key...if he knows how you really feel, it may jolt him to change if he really loves you or it may show him that maybe ur better off apart. Have you considered marriage counseling? Sometimes our hearts get so cold and bitter with all the mistreatment that we bury the love we feel so we dont get hurt anymore. Maybe u do love him, but are so hurt that you dont want feel love for him...I dont know...just a thought. If you really feel you have tried everything and it cant be reconciled than separate for a bit and seek God face to know what your next step should be.

You will be in my prayers
 
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Charmie38

Guest
#5
#5
Thanks for your advice blessedmommy34. I told her many times that i dont love him anymore, but he dont believe. I asked for marriage counselling too, many times, but he refused. The last time, i allow him now to talk to other women. I said to him that he is free now and i will do the same, but he dont like.
 
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Lucy68

Senior Member
#6
Jan 21, 2011
2,538
22
0
#6
Since he doesn't want you to leave, what do you think about saying 'we're going for Christian marriage counseling or we're going to separate for awhile'?

You're going to have to do something and counseling seems like a logical first step. An objective third party can be helpful in opening up communication.

Praying for you and your husband....hang in there and seek the Holy Spirit's help for comfort and guidance :)
 
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Charmie38

Guest
#7
#7
Thank you so much Lucy68 for your advice and thanks for your prayer too.
 
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Risen

Guest
#8
#8
I would advice against the fact that your husband is chatting with other women. A much more productive way of killing time is just attack God's word every opportunity that you both have when you are not with one another. Keep away from the fire!!! work on your relationship with God and with one another and you really do not have the time to even chat.

Have a blessed day
 
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Charmie38

Guest
#9
#9
Thank you so much Risen.
 
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GOD_IS_LOVE

Senior Member
#10
Mar 16, 2009
306
4
18
#10
Get involved in something together: a hobby, a sport, a mission trip. Have a baby...?
It's hard to be with just one person all the time, in a closed environment; you're bound to get bored of them at some point, to have arguments, to even hate them, no matter how much you love them in the start. You both need to make some changes in your life. God bless!
 
joshhuntnm

joshhuntnm

Senior Member
#11
Aug 6, 2012
427
8
18
#11
Marriage is very complicated. I would make a decesion to read everything I can find on marriage. The advice you need is there, but it can't be reduced to a sound bite.
 
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