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Before I begin, please understand that I know this is such a short venue to relay my issue and request for help. I am a Christian Mother and Wife with a deep discouraging issue with my step-son. He had been living with my husband and I after being in prison for drug related crimes for approximately 3 years. We, or shall I be more specific, 'I', kicked him out on Christmas Eve after yet another esculated conflict of disrespect. He is recently married and both he and his new bride moved in with us after he was again arrested. When he was released, and after much prayer, I felt a true miracle sense of relief that this was a changed young man and therefore, agreed that he and his new wife could move into our home. We set ground rules and actually had them sign a contract of expected behaviors and goals. The contract was upheld for approximately 1 month when everything went out the window. Progressively, all agreements of their residency fell bad and disrepect, lies and manipulation increased. After several sit downs with them and reinforcement that we could not tolerate the behavior, no change was made and the "last straw" shall we say took place on Christmas Eve. I contacted my step-son's Grandmother and asked if he and his wife could stay there for a few days. She agreed. The step of telling them to leave turned into much more than it was and they became so angry that lies were told and I became the 'bad guy'.
During this time, my daughter lost her residency and asked to stay for a few days. My husband and I spoke and agreed to it indicating that we did not know when her step-brother may or may not be back.
Here we now are...my husband wanting his son to come back to the home with no discussion of behavior or progression to something beneficial for his life and his family, (he has a step-daughter himself, which they do not have custody of). They do not have jobs, nor do they seek them.
I am torn. My daughter who is staying with us right now, does have a job and has a place lined up to move into on March 1st. I have prayed and prayed for peace and direction in my positions, but come to the same answer; I do not want them back in our home. The most I can feel comfortable with is asking that if they wish to come back into our home, that they have until March 1st to secure a job and keep it and to meet with us and a member of our church to discuss their issues and ours. This, I believe, will benefit everyone, and they are sincere about wanting to come back here, they will take steps, (which they have not since having been here initiatlly), to say, "hey, we agree and want to progress to a better life".
I welcome any questions or suggestions as this is straining my marriage and I can not give into enabling.
Please help!
Thanks in advance for any insight!!!
Ioklay
During this time, my daughter lost her residency and asked to stay for a few days. My husband and I spoke and agreed to it indicating that we did not know when her step-brother may or may not be back.
Here we now are...my husband wanting his son to come back to the home with no discussion of behavior or progression to something beneficial for his life and his family, (he has a step-daughter himself, which they do not have custody of). They do not have jobs, nor do they seek them.
I am torn. My daughter who is staying with us right now, does have a job and has a place lined up to move into on March 1st. I have prayed and prayed for peace and direction in my positions, but come to the same answer; I do not want them back in our home. The most I can feel comfortable with is asking that if they wish to come back into our home, that they have until March 1st to secure a job and keep it and to meet with us and a member of our church to discuss their issues and ours. This, I believe, will benefit everyone, and they are sincere about wanting to come back here, they will take steps, (which they have not since having been here initiatlly), to say, "hey, we agree and want to progress to a better life".
I welcome any questions or suggestions as this is straining my marriage and I can not give into enabling.
Please help!
Thanks in advance for any insight!!!
Ioklay