Should I quit on my husband and move on or not?

[Nuts80]

I ws married for almost 9 years.aftr 5 years ,we started having problems in marriage and for almost 4 years it continued. It came to a point where we hardly talk to each other but my Pastor and fellow believers askd me not to quit.i kep prayg an beliving but it kep getg worse.he almost abondend me and my 10 yr old son. Last year i got cal from a girl sayg that she is pregnant with my husband child.my husnad told me that his girlfrnd wil call me and I shld tell her that ther is nthg betwm both of us n v r husband and wife for name sake.i told that woman opposite.i said i love my husband and wil not leave her.at last v separated ,his famly dint suport me atall.he is nt touch wt me or my son,who is wt me.i live wt my parents now in different city. I still love him ,cry for him and moreover pray for him.he treated me like doormate n torchrd me emotionally bt I have forgiven him.ters stil hope and desire to be reunited wt him in my heart. I still love him.what shld I do,hw long wil I wait for him to cum back to me. Or I shld just quit and move on with my life?

 

[TomH]

I ws married for almost 9 years.aftr 5 years ,we started having problems in marriage and for almost 4 years it continued. It came to a point where we hardly talk to each other but my Pastor and fellow believers askd me not to quit.i kep prayg an beliving but it kep getg worse.he almost abondend me and my 10 yr old son. Last year i got cal from a girl sayg that she is pregnant with my husband child.my husnad told me that his girlfrnd wil call me and I shld tell her that ther is nthg betwm both of us n v r husband and wife for name sake.i told that woman opposite.i said i love my husband and wil not leave her.at last v separated ,his famly dint suport me atall.he is nt touch wt me or my son,who is wt me.i live wt my parents now in different city. I still love him ,cry for him and moreover pray for him.he treated me like doormate n torchrd me emotionally bt I have forgiven him.ters stil hope and desire to be reunited wt him in my heart. I still love him.what shld I do,hw long wil I wait for him to cum back to me. Or I shld just quit and move on with my life?

It seems like your husband did what is legitimate grounds for divorce, but the decision is up to you. I pray you are consoled by true love that only comes from God.

 

[J-Kay]

Gosh, no one can really tell you what to do. He has told you what he wants.
Do you have a Pastor to talk with ? You need some wise counsel. I am sorry
you have been hurt this way. I will be praying for you. In Jesus's name...Amen

 

[maxwel]

I agree with TomH,
What your husband did is biblical grounds for divorce.
But that doesn't necessarily mean you should end it.

I think you need more pastoral counseling, and much prayer.

 

[secularhermit]

Up to you!

If I have loved my ex-wife, I would never hurt her. If any of my Exs had loved me, never would have left or hurt. So U see deeds speak louder than empty words.

 

[Ariel82]

I think even if my husband was to abandon me and my kids and move in with another woman. I would still love him as you seem to love your husband and I would not fill for divorce.

I would keep living my life and trying to be a good mom to my kids but I would not date another man or seek to be remarried, so divorce would not really matter to me.

If he wanted to fill , I would refuse.

it will probably make him mad if you do and cause him problems but he chose to marry you and made a covenant before God to honor you for life.

it should be fair warning for any other woman that he can't keep his promises and to allow him to remarry would not be doing the other woman a favor. it would just give a legal ok to a sinful situation because he is committing adultery and so is the other woman.

i think its wrong for him to ask you to make his life easier and talk to this other woman he has broken his vows with.

if he did this when we were just dating that would be a different story. I'd say God bless good bye and wish him and the other woman the best, but now that we are married i think people should be held responsible to their marriage vows or they should never have made them in the first place.

 

[damombomb]

Praying for you that the lord will give you some peace and joy. Put him in the lords hands
God bless you!

 

[Deva_1972]

My mom left 4 years ago after 37 years of a marriage that was abusive. She tried and tried to put on the happy face and pretend nothing was wrong and tried to do 'the right thing' but the fact is that nothing more could have been done....and he continued to spite my mom passive aggressively and was forming unhealthy relationships with other women despite constant pleas. Finally God told her to leave and divorce - you can't 'love' someone to Christ and no woman should be treated like crap. That's my two cents...

 

[p90powa]

I ws married for almost 9 years.aftr 5 years ,we started having problems in marriage and for almost 4 years it continued. It came to a point where we hardly talk to each other but my Pastor and fellow believers askd me not to quit.i kep prayg an beliving but it kep getg worse.he almost abondend me and my 10 yr old son. Last year i got cal from a girl sayg that she is pregnant with my husband child.my husnad told me that his girlfrnd wil call me and I shld tell her that ther is nthg betwm both of us n v r husband and wife for name sake.i told that woman opposite.i said i love my husband and wil not leave her.at last v separated ,his famly dint suport me atall.he is nt touch wt me or my son,who is wt me.i live wt my parents now in different city. I still love him ,cry for him and moreover pray for him.he treated me like doormate n torchrd me emotionally bt I have forgiven him.ters stil hope and desire to be reunited wt him in my heart. I still love him.what shld I do,hw long wil I wait for him to cum back to me. Or I shld just quit and move on with my life?

Ok, your husband cheats on you and gets some one else pregnant? I think not. That is ridiculous and sick. If he was going to not keep it in his pants with someone he is not married to, then he should have got a divorce. And almost abandoned your kids? A LIVING CHILD? This guy does not sound like a good guy to be married to. It doesn't matter if the bible says you can divorce or not, that is cheating WHILE YOU ARE MARRIED. And not just a little peck on the lips to some girl he will never see. He got someone pregnant. I say divorce his butt. He has no business being around an upstanding, nice girl. If he isn't gonna keep it in his pants except for 1 special person while he is married or dating, then he doesn't deserve to be married. Just my opinion.

 

[Jocelyn1]

You need to ask yourself what is best for your child. If the two of you we're to get back together would the home be a happy, healthy functioning environment for your child? If you don't think so and don't feel that he is dedicated to changing I would suggest moving on. It isn't healthy to keep hanging onto someone that has moved on. You need to be strong for your child and put his best interests first. I am so very sorry for your situation. It is very hard especially when children are involved but you can't force someone to change if they don't want to and to me it makes no sense to hang onto someone that is hurtful and only poisons the family. You have a lot of soul searching to do just make smart decisions. Only you can really make them. You know in your heart what is best for you and your child. Whatever conclusion you come to it isn't going to be easy but hang in there.

 

[colalella2891]

Wow... I'm sorry that happened to you...

Well if my hypothetical wife did that to me I wouldn't tolerate it, no way... I'd like to think that I would definitely move on. But I have no idea what it's like to be in love or what you're going through, so I may not even know what i'm talking about.

In my opinion that's definitely not what a husband should be... No way. But of course it's completely your decision.

You may be worried about your son and how he'll grow up with a broken family, but it's not all bad. He'll have you. My parents recently separated. It definitely sucks, but I wouldn't want my parents together if they're not happy together.

In my opinion, in order to stay with him he would have to completely change. If he doesn't, then you need to get out of that asap. But it's your decision, and you know what's best for your life, as does God. I'll be praying for ya.

 

[Kisses1990]

I don't think you should listen to any advice from a message board about something this important....up to you. Good luck!

 

[Lucy68]

I'm so sorry for the pain you're going through! It sounds like you really have tried to heal your marriage...but it does take both husband and wife to make it work. We can't make someone love us, no matter how much we love them. I know this is really painful, but if he has truly abandoned the relationship, you need to do something so that you can move on to an emotionally and spiritually healthy way of living. Living limbo is not living.

As long as you've taken these struggles to the Lord and prayed over them and tried to reconcile with your husband, then you've done all that is humanly possible. The Lord will not FORCE him back into the marriage (and that would mean commitment to ONE wife). It has to be his personal choice. In the meantime you need to guard your heart and your son's heart, and not allow them to be trampled into the dust. That is not a marriage, that is an abusive relationship.

Praying for you...that the Holy Spirit will lead you in this and be your comforter and counselor.

 

[prodigaldaughter]

It is evident that you love your husband and it is sad that he has been treating you in this way. Whatever the decision you make it shall affect both you and your child.

I shall pray for you and hope that somehow that God can clean up this. Only He can. Pray unceasingly for your situation. Pray for healing of broken hearts of both of you. Pray that God can provide the wisdom to show you what to do.

Do not fight verbally do not add to the hurt it will only inflame the situation more. Let every action and word spoken be of love not of hate. Be gentle and peaceful. If you believe in your heart that God can restore your marriage, that it is worth restoring. Then fight for your marriage but do not fight your husband.

Take a piece of paper and write on one side all the good things about your marriage, your family and your husband on what you have. On the other side write what is wrong or what has gone wrong. Be honest. Present this to God in prayer. Let Him guide you on what to do. Sometimes it may mean we have to fix things in ourselves also.

 

[foundling]

This is something that will take a lot of prayer and waiting for an answer from the Lord. What do you believe the Lord wants you to do? This may be difficult at first to hear from the the Lord because there's a lot of hurt and mixed feelings for Him to get through, and He wants to heal those hurts too. But the Lord will answer you through scripture and your pastor. Continue to forgive him, and pray for your husband. He needs counsel and help. I will be praying for your situation.

 

[sandtigeress]

There is something you should consider also. You have a son.
Think about what example you want to give him, the way you want him to treat a wife later and/or what to take from his wife.
There is also another child in that equation, the one from your husband and his girlfriend.

Think hard and pray for god to show you the way, he wants you to go.
You can not change your husband, only god can do that.
Live your live. Cry for your husband, pray for him, but always know whatever happends, you are loved by god.
You are worth much more. Never let other people tell you otherwise.

 

[Iluv_Jesus]

You are a strong woman of God. Only a woman of Faith can trust in God so much to bring back the prodigal son home. No human words can console you for what you're going through right now. You're in a position where in you have a true love for your spouse. God sees what is happening in your life. It's not wrong to fight for someone you love to return to you. You can. And prayer is a strong strong weapon that can do things no magistrate or advocate or government can do for you. Ask God what you want. God is able and willing to provide for you what you want, what you need. He alone can help you. Let Jesus stand by you dearly beloved in Christ and guide you with the power of His Holy Spirit. Remember this. All things are possible in Jesus Christ. Be strong and let God decide the battle that's being fought. The battle is the Lord's 1 Samuel Chapter 17. The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but the victory is of the Lord. - Proverbs chapter 21 verse 31.
I don't have enough wisdom to advise you to take any decision in this difficult time of your life. God would not have given you this suffering if He thought you could not bear it. Be strong. Remember that Jesus sees your tears and He will never give up on you. Ever. The world will test the children of God. Be strong. I will pray for you. Just remember to call on the all powerful name of Jesus. May you find refuge in His mighty name. For God saves His people from the wickedness of this world with a mighty hand and an out stretched arm. God be with you. Praise God. May His Holy Spirit guide you. Ask for His Holy Spirit in abundance. Amen.

 

[rerun]

Please use your God given common sense in this important matter