B
Three years ago, my fathered married a woman later in life. He was 63 or so at the time, she was 10 years younger. There was a lot of suspicion surrounding whether this was a woman just into tapping into his money. As I observed them, throughout there marriage, it seemed like they liked doing simple things together. Watch a movie, go to the thrift shop, go to a military concert band, read books together, etc. It seemed legit, enjoyed a simple life, and I defended their relationship to others.
Then he died. My father died, a year ago in April. He didn't take care of himself.
So my step mom's family and my family kind of grieved together. But you can kind of tell they have been pushing away.
Meanwhile, my sister, she used to be a very good accountant. Then 13 years ago, this man convinced her to marry him. He had two kids, she had two kids. He also was in the accounting field. Very good at his job. He insisted my sister retire and become a stay at home mom. But what my sister eventually found, he was only interested in status, that he was good enough to support 4 kids and a stay at home mom. He was a bad man, verbally, emotionally abusive, so she did divorce this man, and now finds herself with a 10 year employment gap and suffering from age discrimination.
Once my sister's daughter finishes high school, she planned on moving down here, to be closer to her family, me, my brother, other sister.
This is where the issue comes into play.
My step mother offered my sister a place to stay, the offer has been out there since Thanksgiving, she is the only one with an empty house, so it did make sense. So, all this time, my sister is making plans to move, on the basis of this offer, this offer was like a life raft to her, just to stop the bleeding of her life savings. Then on Mother's Day, my step mother took back the offer rather bluntly, and said in an abrupt way, "Well, do you have a plan b?"
I feel like what happened was, my step mother went to a baby shower of her daughter and her entire family pressured her to back out of the offer.
My step mother is under no obligation to offer her home, true, but she shouldn't have strung my sister along. I spent the last two days on the phone listening to my sister cry to me. I did pray to her, I did try my best, told her its really the job issue, we didn't even know this woman or her family before my dad got involved, but it is emotionally draining. I then had to, in turn, had to call my aunt and speak to her about it and how it made me feel.
My issue with my step mother, it does seem like anytime she wants to speak about my father, needs comfort about that, well, I'm there. I am always sending her pictures or bible notes over email. She even just last week wanted to do a steak cookout to remember my dad on Father's Day, talking about that. Meanwhile, my sister is saying to me, it will be along time, if ever before she talks to my step mom again.
Keep in mind, I suffer from unresolved medical issues, I like spending time with her, given that I am homebound a lot, but then I look, and I feel like this "divorce" is along time coming so to speak. Sigh, this sucks.
So, my options are:
1. Talk to my step mom on my sister's behalf and try to get her to reconsider
2. Tell my step mom, at least let her know how her actions have hurt my family
3. End the relationship with my step mom once and for all
4. Carry on with my relationship with my step mom
Thanks to all who took the time to read this. It means a lot. Maybe I just needed to vent in anycase. I will welcome any Godly advice.
Thoughts?
Then he died. My father died, a year ago in April. He didn't take care of himself.
So my step mom's family and my family kind of grieved together. But you can kind of tell they have been pushing away.
Meanwhile, my sister, she used to be a very good accountant. Then 13 years ago, this man convinced her to marry him. He had two kids, she had two kids. He also was in the accounting field. Very good at his job. He insisted my sister retire and become a stay at home mom. But what my sister eventually found, he was only interested in status, that he was good enough to support 4 kids and a stay at home mom. He was a bad man, verbally, emotionally abusive, so she did divorce this man, and now finds herself with a 10 year employment gap and suffering from age discrimination.
Once my sister's daughter finishes high school, she planned on moving down here, to be closer to her family, me, my brother, other sister.
This is where the issue comes into play.
My step mother offered my sister a place to stay, the offer has been out there since Thanksgiving, she is the only one with an empty house, so it did make sense. So, all this time, my sister is making plans to move, on the basis of this offer, this offer was like a life raft to her, just to stop the bleeding of her life savings. Then on Mother's Day, my step mother took back the offer rather bluntly, and said in an abrupt way, "Well, do you have a plan b?"
I feel like what happened was, my step mother went to a baby shower of her daughter and her entire family pressured her to back out of the offer.
My step mother is under no obligation to offer her home, true, but she shouldn't have strung my sister along. I spent the last two days on the phone listening to my sister cry to me. I did pray to her, I did try my best, told her its really the job issue, we didn't even know this woman or her family before my dad got involved, but it is emotionally draining. I then had to, in turn, had to call my aunt and speak to her about it and how it made me feel.
My issue with my step mother, it does seem like anytime she wants to speak about my father, needs comfort about that, well, I'm there. I am always sending her pictures or bible notes over email. She even just last week wanted to do a steak cookout to remember my dad on Father's Day, talking about that. Meanwhile, my sister is saying to me, it will be along time, if ever before she talks to my step mom again.
Keep in mind, I suffer from unresolved medical issues, I like spending time with her, given that I am homebound a lot, but then I look, and I feel like this "divorce" is along time coming so to speak. Sigh, this sucks.
So, my options are:
1. Talk to my step mom on my sister's behalf and try to get her to reconsider
2. Tell my step mom, at least let her know how her actions have hurt my family
3. End the relationship with my step mom once and for all
4. Carry on with my relationship with my step mom
Thanks to all who took the time to read this. It means a lot. Maybe I just needed to vent in anycase. I will welcome any Godly advice.
Thoughts?
